Worst Breakdown Of Him
It is evening right now and all I have done is lying on my bed staring at the ceiling like nothing. Mom and Dad had not left my side till I became stubborn and told them to go and not worry. That I am OK. I was rescued on time. It's nonsense, I know.
But I just wanted to be left alone. The girls are sitting here silently and not saying anything. I was so disgusted by the touches that I was scratching myself harshly till I started bleeding. The girls had to hold me down and I stopped after getting exhausted from all the crying.
"I am fine", I sigh at all of them. Hema enters inside and looks stressed. She indicates to the girls and they sigh. What are they hiding?
"What?", I ask. My voice was rough from all the crying. Naina passes a water bottle to me but I shake my head not in the mood of drinking or eating anything. "Nothing. I was saying that we can go out. If you would like a walk", Hema tries to change the topic.
"I asked what", I yelled. Tears fill in my eyes. I feel so frustrated. "Shravan", she says and my heart drops. He was there. He heard it. And he must be thinking that it is his fault. "Give that to me", I stood up and took her phone. Bunty is on call and Hema has been on mute button. I decide to ask him to give it to Shravan but stop hearing Shravan crying.
"It is all my fault. If I hadn't fought with him, he wouldn't have tried to do this. If I hadn't talked with Suman, she wouldn't have been his target. I am the worst friend anyone can have Bunty. Because of me, this happened. If that helper sister hadn't passed by and heard Suman's shout and peeked in, if she hadn't rushed down and met me, if she hadn't told me and if I hadn't reached on time, God knows what would have happened", he sobs.
My heart breaks hearing him cry and I start crying too. "But he called you an illegitimate child and pointed at Aunty's character. Even then, you didn't raise your hand and used your words. He was the one who started it. It is not your fault", Bunty says. I can't believe people nowadays. Vishal is a disgusting boy. How dare he say that? And even then, Shravan feels it's his fault.
"And you saw the outcome? He tried to hurt Suman. I will stay away from her now. So that she is away from all these things. She is a simple girl and doesn't get involved in all these fights and bunks. Because of me, she got in this mess", he says, making me angry.
"Shravan", I snap closing the mute button. "Suman", he says as his voice cracks and I hear him trying to stop crying. A cry escapes from my mouth and he starts crying again making me cry too. "I am sorry, Suman", he apologised. "Please forgive me", he says.
"For what?", I ask. "For taking a stand for Aunty and you? For trying to handle the situation calmly even after you knew that Vishal needed to be beaten? For becoming friends with me? For coming on time and saving me? For what you need to say sorry?", I ask him.
"I...", he stutters. "So you mean that we should fear what will happen next and stay silent before wrong. We should stay away because of these stupid reasons, hmm?", I ask and furiously wipe my tears.
"B-But, because of me...", I cut him off. "Shravan '', I sigh. "From a new born to an old woman is raped everyday. From a girl who is ugly according to this society to a girl who is pretty according to this society, from a girl wearing top and jeans to a girl wearing a saree, females and even males are raped every day", I tell him.
"These all they gave are excuses. Even if I am your friend or not, they would have done it. So stop blaming yourself. It had nothing to do with you. You wouldn't have imagined they could do this. You were not a part of it. So please", I asked him.
"We can't live feeling scared all of the time. It's not our fault and there is no wrong in doing what is right. If we keep feeling scared and stay away, today, then all these monsters will feel encouraged seeing we are getting scared. But we are not. We are strong and we are not in the wrong so we are ok", I say.
"I will slap you hard if you think this again. You came and rescued me right? Then why are you blaming yourself? Please don't", I pleaded with him. "I am still so sorry. Intentionally or unintentionally, I was the reason. They had to take revenge on me by hurting you", he cries.
"They are wrong. Not us. And they didn't succeed. You came on time and they are where they should be. Rotting in jail. So please don't blame yourself", I request. "Have you eaten something?", he asks after a while of silence.
"Have you?", I ask and our silence answers our questions to each other. "Eat something please", I say after a minute of silence. "You too. I will call again in half an hour to check", he says. "I promise. Are the boys with you? Like the girls here", I ask.
"They haven't left my side", he says and I smile lightly hearing it. "Bye", he whispers. "Bye. I will meet you in school", I say back and hang up the call. "We're ok", Naina says, coming up to me. I smile back.
"We're ok", I assure her back and the girls come to hug me. Somewhere inside me, I know that tomorrow is going to be a hard day.