Consoling and A Heartfelt Talk
It's been two days since that incident. On everyone's insistence, I took a holiday to calm myself down and today I am going to school. Shravan has been supportive and helped me let it out but he has also been distant. He hasn't cracked any jokes like he used to these past two days.
He still feels he is at fault and it hurts me. I admit that it does hurt me. So, today my main motive to be present in school is to knock some sense into that boy. I climb stairs and reach the floor where my class is.
Shravan has been by my side. I was almost mute these past two days but behaving all good to not tense my family. It was Shravan who could look through me and I could tell him how I felt without worrying about anything. A lot went through my head, even the thought of just starting self harm but Shravan was always calling me to check on me.
And it prevented me from doing this. I have decided to join self defence classes and learn a bit of tricks and technical ability to keep myself safe. My family, friends and Shravan are very happy by this decision of mine. I just hope that it goes well.
I still feel their touch on me and that disgusts me but by the constant support that everyone gave me, I am able to get over it. This two days gap helped a lot. No one talked about it on their own and wanted to give me comfort and space and I am really glad about it. Now, I feel that I am returning back to my real self and I am happy about this too. I don't want to lose myself in this.
I go towards the classroom and enter inside. Everyone looks at me but no one dares to say anything. They all give me friendly smiles and thankfully, do not talk about that day. I sit at my seat and wait desperately for Shravan.
I see him coming all gloomy and with a face that has seemed to lost it's charm. He sees me and gives me a softly smile. "How are you?", he asks. I smile at him. "Good", I tell him. He nods and starts going back but I hold his hand and he pauses on his steps.
He turns and looks at our hands then at me. Our eyes get locked with each other and seem to share thousands of thoughts which we find difficult to say verbally. His eyes fill with tears that start flowing down and I am the same.
"Sit", I pat the space beside me. He sits silently but doesn't say anything. I keep observing him and how unhealthy this silence looks among us. "I am ok", I tell him. "You have done everything you could do and I am happy".
He still stays silent. "Suman. Do you think that we should stay away from each other? I am just...whatever happened has made me doubt myself. They wanted revenge on me and that's why...it just hurts", he whispers.
"Shravan. You know we face different and difficult situations ninety nine percent of our life. That's why it is a saying that life is an exam. Being a topper, do you ever leave a question empty or write something even if you don't know the answer to the question?", he looks at me and I smile at him.
"You write. You attempt it and then miraculously, your answer is correct and you get marks. The quality of a topper student is that the student never leaves any question unattempted. Nothing is left blank. You try. Then why do you want to step back in this?", I ask him.
"Can we undo whatever happened? Should we be so much impacted by this? Nothing went wrong with me. You may be the main reason as they wanted revenge but you saved me. So you shouldn't blame yourself as you simply aren't at fault and never will be", I tell him.
"I am really lucky to have you as my friend and I don't want to lose you and I admit it. So let's not talk about this again. We all are good and let's move on. Even though it's difficult for me to some extent, I can't be stuck on it forever so let's just move on. We're good", I tell him and he finally smiles.
A smile that reaches his eyes.
"Suman. As friends we should promise each other to always trust, support and protect each other no matter what", Shravan says. "Definitely. And also, to never ever leave each other's side even in the hardest times", I say.
"Moving on. We are gonna get a circular regarding a school trip for board year students. The place is a surprise but I really want you to fill it. I understand your family must be not willing to send you because of all of this but I will convince them. Please fill it", he requests.
I shake my head. "I have never gone alone and away from my family, Shravan", I tell him and he looks at me with puppy eyes. "But it will help you get away from this. And, since it's our last school trip together, many will leave the school to get desired streams or other reasons", he says and I frown.
"It will be too expensive", I say. He stands up. "Suman. Just see the circular and think about it, please", he requests and I sigh. "Ok", I tell him and he grins. "But that will depend on the fees and location", I warned him. "Alright", he says quickly and I laugh.
He joins in too. "Now go back to your seat. Class is going to begin", I say chuckling. "Think about it", he says as
he goes to his seat.
"Fine", I smile.