Confessing His Love To Her
We reach the bridge. Shravan has not said a word. I am getting anxious. He stops the bike and I get down. He gets down too and we silently walk as I glance at him. What is he going to say and why is he taking so much time in saying this? "Is everything ok? Shravan", I ask him and he looks at me.
I am too shocked to find him nervous. Seeing him nervous is an impossible sight for all people. "What's so serious that made Shravan Malhotra nervous today?", I ask jokingly and he sighs. My smile drops and now concern fills in my eyes. "Shravan...", I start but he places his finger on my lips.
I feel my breath getting stuck as he looks at me intently. I look at him and then my eyes travel to his finger. He takes a deep breath and removes it. "I will speak and you will listen. You won't say anything until I finish", he tells me and I hum.
He hesitates. Why is he acting so weird? He was so cool a while ago. I keep standing there silently waiting for him to speak. "Shravan...I am not going to judge you. You can tell me anything", I whisper and he bites his lower lip. "Just listen", he repeats. For that, you need to speak.
"Suman. I am going to be very clear with you", he says. The beginning is too scary. I gulp. "I have always been in the popular group since childhood. Simply because my mum is a teacher. Students always got attracted and I made friends", he says. What is he trying to say?
"I have been an extrovert. I have made friends at sports events. I have made friends who are like me. Who are cool, who break rules and have all the fun of school life, who hate libraries", he says with a slight smile. "And then...I met you", he looks up and I breathe heavily. "At first, I was like you are so boring...", he says and I feel my smile dropping. "That you are a teacher's pet. You don't do anything fun", he says.
"I had a misconception you told the teachers about us and I used to get irritated. I used to dislike you. I used to make fun of you behind your back and comment with my friends. I was like...why is she like this?", he says. "But...you changed me", he says further and I look at him confused. "You made me realise that it is indeed wrong to judge a book by its cover", he says.
"And this cover is so beautiful, I still thought the book could be boring and bad. I know what a big deal it is for you to miss your lectures. You could have done anything. Told someone and left or simply ignored me. But you sat there outside the store room when I was crying and so scared. You distracted me and talked with me. You missed three lectures but never felt angry about it. You helped me without asking for anything in return", he says emotionally. "Even when I used to make fun of you".
"No one would have done that but you did. You stood quietly bearing all the scolding to not let the teachers know that I was locked inside. And I know you did that because many people get embarrassed in case of their fears and you didn't let me get embarrassed. Everybody laughed at you but you didn't say a word. You lied...even though you never do and teachers trust you but you lied just so that Aneesh gets punished even after knowing he can trouble you later on but you did...so that I get justice", he says.
"You are the kindest soul I have ever met till now. You never keep evil thoughts for anyone. Never make fun of anyone to get in the stupid cool image people have made. You stay silent and do your work. You are always ready to help others, even the ones who joke about you and hurt you. You always choose to get ignored instead of making others feel inferior and that they are dumb", he says.
Everything he says melts me and tears come in my eyes. My heart beats faster as he goes on because I think...I know where this is going. Is this even possible when we both are so different?
"You cheered for me in the match and encouraged me when I fell and almost lost hope. After that incident...", we both painfully look at each other remembering what happened on MUN conference day. "You convinced me. You got me rid of my fear and guilt", he says, making me smile. "How can someone be so good?", he asks.
I am about to say but he shakes his head. "Let me complete", he says. "In all this, I never realised that when we got so close and when I...", he pauses and my breathing quickens. He comes closer and I gasp at our proximity. His face is inches closer from mine.
"I never realised...I had started liking your presence. I started loving every small...every single thing about you. The world that I hated, Library, MUN and no bunking, I started getting comfortable in that world and started enjoying it. I never realised when I changed. I never realised anything from all of this", he says.
"I felt so scared, so angry and so helpless when I saw you crying in that class room surrounded by those...", he says in tears clenching his fists while my tears are already flowing down my cheeks. "And then...I finally realised why I was being like this", he says. Is he going too...?
He kneels down and holds both of my hands. I look down at him. "I got habitual to you", he says.
"I have started loving you, Suman!"