When they said they would bath me. It was a wild interpretation of it because there was no bath involved. It was me sitting naked on the cold floor while they took turns pouring water over me, and then lathering me with soap, and then pouring some more water.
It was humiliating, but I gritted my teeth and swallowed my pride because I didn't want to sit in my own filth.
By the time they poured the last bucket of water over me, it had gone cold, and once again I found myself at the mercy of my primal instincts and began trembling like a leaf in the wind.
One of them took pity on me and wrapped me in a blanket while one of the other girls dried my hair with a towel.
They had been silent so far. None of them said anything anymore after the initial plea. And I had behaved, because what choice did I have?
" You will wear the same attire as us until the ritual," Ritual? I knew it. I ended up with crazy cult people.
" Ritual?" I parrot back, like a little lost child.
The one who spoke nodded and hummed, but no further explanation was offered.
" What is the Ritual for? I pushed on because I wanted to know what the hell was I supposed to expect.
The one that mentioned the ritual looked at the eldest once more for consent. What was the point of holding out information, if I was going to die anyway?
" It's alright Asmara. You can tell her," Asmara was the poster figure for innocence. She had a clueless look in her eyes, and a smile so sweet that it could give anyone diabetes just by looking at it.
" The ritual is meant to ease your passing into the afterlife," She delivers the news just in the same way one announces a sunny spell.
After a brief pause, she begins anew, " The High Kallah will be the one performing the ritual, and it will take place on the next full moon. Which happens to be a blood moon as well. The High Kallah believes that it is an auspicious moment for you to part ways with your mortal shell-," The girl behind me clears her throat, and Asmara gives her a sheepish look.
" Forgive me, sister. I have said too much," I didn't know whether she was speaking to me or the girl behind me.
My brain had gone into full shutdown. I couldn't process anything. The gravity of my situation hit me at the speed of light and I was still spinning aimlessly trying to find my footing. My rude awakening, had finally rooted inside my head, sprouted branches, the whole shabang.
Numbly, I sat there while they went on to adorn me with the same attire they were wearing.
I didn't even notice when they left, and most certainly didn't take any notice when Eagan made an appearance and cleaned my new abode. I assumed it was him that had cleaned the floor, and changed my bucket. Because the foul smell lingered no more.
I snapped out of it after what felt like a lifetime had passed and suddenly I felt thousands of years older. I didn't have a mirror nearby but I think that was the moment my hair began to turn grey.
I was going to die. They weren't leveraging me against Mason. I was the intended target all along. It was me they wanted, and he just got caught in the middle somehow.
Why did they want me dead so badly?
I wasn't the greatest person alive, that was for sure but I hadn't committed any crimes to warrant a ritualistic death. Or death.
If up until that point I thought I had it figured out. I was wrong.
Food was left for me on the floor. It wasn't anything that would make anyone salivate at the sight of it, but hunger had abandoned completely along with any hope that I would ever see the light of day.
I resigned and stretched myself on the cold slab of stone, and swam contently in a sea of self-pity.
Reality had finally caught up to me, and up until this point, I still had a sliver of hope that this could be fixed. In that moment all that hope disintegrated into millions of little specks of dust and blew away on the wind of my desolation.
Hope is a fickle little thing. Amidst all the turmoil and hardship, it can be the spark that keeps you going, that keeps you searching, that keeps you fighting. It encourages you to move forward. When all hope is gone, then there is nothing left to hang onto, then you have surrendered, laid down your weapons and waved the white flag. Death follows shortly after that.
So, keep fighting. Hold on to that little speck of light, and give it your all, heart, mind, body and soul.
To whomever is reading this, I might have lost all hope, but yet there is still time for you to change things.
For I'm chained to the floor, helpless but you are not. You are free. Freedom is taken for granted, and those who have it, do not cherish it and do not use to its full extent or abuse it.
Love, even if it hurts and because there isn't anything quite like it out there. Live, even if sometimes sucks. You won't a get second chance. Smile, purely because it's free. Live in the now, because tomorrow might not come for you and so many others.