"Mother, please. Not tonight." I groaned as I dropped my handbag on the nearest couch to me.
"When else do I get time to talk senses into your head? How can you decide to end another relationship again? Don't you realize that you are getting older? You'll be thirty by next year." My mother said, questioning my decision and giving me a hard time this evening.
She knows how exhausting my day has been, she knows being a psychotherapist is not an easy job, especially when people require me to keep offering my best and beyond. She knows all of this, yet she decided this was the right time to query my relationship status and remind me how old I was getting.
"Mum, Cory is just not the man for me. He is actually a bastard, and you should be happy for me that I ended it with him, instead of questioning me. I believe I'm an adult, and I own my life, so if I decide Cory is not the man for me, then so be it." I argue back. I can't bear her behavior when she does this to me.
A mother should always understand her daughter, because she is the best person to relate to my troubles and pains. So why was she pushing me so hard to just get married to anyone?
"It's the same thing you keep saying, Zara. You said Santiago wasn't the man for you. Then you met Larry, and you said the same thing. Cory is the sixth man you will be dating and breaking up with, how am I sure you are not the problem? That you are purposely chasing all these men away with your psychological crap?" She queried in a raised tone.
Before I could even open my mouth to say another thing, she continued, "I want a grandchild, Zara. Give me a grandchild." She deadpanned.
"You know what, mum? You can have dinner all by yourself. I will get out of your hair." I said to her, picking up my handbag and storming out of the house.
I could still hear her shouting at me until I shut the door and hailed a cab. Driving in my angered state was not a good option tonight.
"Where are you headed, ma'am?" The cab driver asked, "Just drive for now." I replied, still fuming and having no direction in mind.
My mother doesn't understand just how much I've been abused physically and emotionally in my past relationships because I was doing better than these men financially.
It was as if they were all cut from the same coat. And I thought the first guy taught me a lesson I shouldn't have repeated with the rest, but love always blinded me. It caused me to do stupid things and accept absurd things. Once they displayed softness and gentleness towards me, I let my guards down.
If the world finds out that a renowned therapist like me was abused in a relationship, it would definitely shock them. Because I represented a figure of a strong woman. A woman that shouldn't take shits, yet, I did.
"Take me to Reverie, please." I told the cab driver as I came to the sudden conclusion that alcohol and dancing will be my best remedy for tonight.
"Okay." He replied. I took out my phone from my bag and dialed my best friend, Amy. She was the only person who knew everything about me. She's the only one who understands my struggles and pain.
"Babes, can you meet me at Reverie?" I asked her the moment she picked up the call.
"Hello to you too." She chuckled, "I sense it's one of those nights again seeing how you forgot to say hello?" She guessed, and I hummed to her words.
"Will you make it?" I asked her.
"Sure, baby. I'll meet you there in thirty minutes." She answered, and we ended the call.
A sigh escaped my lips as I watched the busy city pass by me. Everything was moving so fast just the same way my mother expected my life to go.
I love her, but sometimes her ideas and demands are unbearable. If only she understands how those men had made me suffer, but I can't tell her, I can't make her feel like her only daughter is a complete failure in life. An utter opposite of what the media claims me to be.
"We have arrived here, ma." The cab driver announced. I paid my fare and I alighted the cab. The nightly fresh hair hit my face causing me to shut my eyes and revel in the brief peace it brought to my soul after an extremely long and tiring day at work.
" Zara! you came here tonight?" Mike, the hulky security guy at Reverie asked me while beaming with a smile. I walked towards him mirroring his expression and replied, "Yes Mike, I decided I needed some alcohol in my system and those loud reverberating music in my soul".
" I always love seeing you here". He said to me and I chuckled.
"Sure. Amy will be here soon." I winked at him knowing fully well that it is my best friend he cares about. He has a huge crush on her.
After chatting a bit more with him, I entered the club and headed straight to the bar section, ordering myself two tequila shots on the go. That was just to kickstart this long partying night.
I'll deal with my hangover tomorrow morning. But right now, I needed extreme distraction from the mess my life was.
Feeling the effect of the alcohol in my system, I got on my feet and started swaying to the pop sound booming from the all-round speakers in the club.
Hoping I could lose myself in the night and its wildness, but that wasn't the case as I couldn't shake away the feeling that someone was watching me intently. Turning around to see if someone really was, my eyes landed on a man dressed in a complete dark suit, seated in a private lounge across the floor.
And like a siren beckoning for my soul, I felt the heat rush up to my face and traveled down to my core.
"Holy fucking shit." I cussed under my breath. The man didn't take his gaze away from me, so we continued staring at each other until I couldn't handle the heat anymore.
He was unfazed. He looked like someone out of a dark fantasy romance book. Someone who could dominate my world and leave me all wrecked. Someone I should definitely take my eyes away from.
"Damn. Zara, get a fucking hold of yourself." I chided myself and headed to the bar. The neon lights hid some of his features, but I knew he was very handsome.
And his types are exactly those that break hearts. So I definitely shouldn't entertain any funny thoughts. When tonight was all about me and forgetting my problems. Especially my recent break up.
"Another shot!" I told the bartender, as I tried to control my breathing. That man affected me way more than I wanted.
"That will be on me." That voice, I can't not recognize it. It made my stomach churn and made me want to throw up all the alcohol I just consumed.
"And if it's not the devil himself." I slowly turned around and said to the last man that shattered my heart and made me lose hope in love or any man. Cory, my ex boyfriend.
"Hey, I'm not that bad. Plus, I've been apologizing to you for almost two weeks now. I even went to see your mother, so you can see how sincere I am with you. I love you, Zara. And I'm so sorry. I'll never do that again." He said, moving closer to me. But I stepped backwards, until my back hit the countertop of the bar.
"You can't even bring yourself to say what you did. And I know you couldn't tell my mother too. Leave her out of this, and don't burden her with your foolishness. It's over between us. Get that into your thick skull, don't show up where I am again." I replied to him, feeling aggravated recalling how he had hit me and emotionally abused me, so I knew I needed to leave right away.
I wish Amy wasn't running late as usual. She always knew how to calm me and handle things better than me.
"Hey, I'm still talking to you." Cory held my hands tightly, stopping me from going.
"Babe, is this man bothering you?" I heard the deep voice growl from behind me.
Tilting my neck to the side, I could see it was the man who already had a huge control over my hormones. It seemed this night was going to be one that I'm not ready for, however it pans out.