I tapped my finger on the table as I looked at a teenage girl, and two women in front of me glaring. Right, I choose to stay at Mrs. Sherlyn's bookstore. "Julia…" I cut her words by raising my hand.
"I have a reason for that, ma'am." Finger crossed for this. "This bookstore… need cleaning service, right? Let's assume that you give me permission to stay. You know my OCD, and Evelyn knows it too."
She took a deep breath and stare. "In one condition…" I stand up and everyone looks at me.
"I'm late for the meeting, and you can tell me your terms later." I grabbed my motorcycle key and rushed to get out of this room.
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I sit on the bench, waiting for her to come. She promises to come in 10 days, but somehow she changes her mind. I looked at the pendant she gave me last year and grip it tight. I don't want to lose her.
My feeling is the matter right now. I took a deep breath, hoping I can breathe freely. I looked at the old couple in front of me. They sit on the bench and sharing their food together.
I hope I can grow old with her. Who doesn't want it? Every person in this world has their own dream. Their American dream. A lot of versions of those words.
I was experiencing a lot of heartbreak before and none of them was as difficult as this time. Am I still in love with her? I do. I do still in love with her, but it's about my feeling.
I can't keep stay silent while she surround by my competitors. It sucks when you want to tell the world she was mine, and I'm hers. I don't want to back down anymore. I wiped my tears and forced a smile in front of her.
"Hey," she greets as she sits next to me. "This is for you. Are you eating well since you were here? You look skinny!" She puts the paper bag between us and picked the food.
"I…." she keep handed out the food. This woman, "fine." I picked the food and open the lid. She knows TacoLoco's quesadilla is my favorite. How can I reject this delicious monster?
"Do you remember our first date?" She leaned her head on my shoulder as she watching people passing by.
Who doesn't remember their first date? What kind of person who doesn't remember their first date? "We forgot brings our wallet," we chuckled as she hugged my arm tight.
She lets go of her hug on my arm. I looked at her wrist; she was wearing the bracelet that I gave last year. She wears it now? "Do you remember… when we fight and not seeing each other for 2 months because of work?" She asked as she looks into my eyes.
"I do. Why?"
She took a deep breath, then lean her head on my shoulder while grabbing my hand tight. "Henry keeps calling me and asking me to come when you published your third book." She pushed me slowly and looking into my eyes. "So, I came late because of a traffic jam. I'm sorry," she said.
"Don't need to be sorry. It's the past." Past is past, today is today. There's nothing I can do about it, right? Want to undo the time we lost. We couldn't do anything about it. I closed the lid, then wiped my hand. "There's something I want you to know." I took a deep breath.
"I want to break up with you not because… of there's another woman." I grabbed her hand and put her pendant on her hand. This will be my last day to feel her warm hand. We look into each other eyes for the last time. "Tyler is a hardworking man, Irene."
She shook her head. "Don't believe…" I wiped her tears with my thumb. I won't let her crying. I can't breathe. "Please don't believe the journalist!" She dropped the pendant and hugged me tightly. "Don't go, please…" I let go of her, hugged and looked at her teary eyes.
She keeps sobbing. I can't look at her face, not like this. "It's not about the journalist." I keep wiped her tears. "Irene, look at me, cupcake." She opens her eyes. I let my tears fall. "I love you. You know that, right?"
She holds my hand tight. "W-we can start over, Julia." I shook my head.
"I'm sorry, Irene. I…"
"You want the public knows our relationship, right? Please answer me!" She kept pushed me. "Answer me!" I hold her hand and took a deep breath.
I looked to the left and saw Tyler there. "Irene," I call her. She sobbing. I wiped her tears for the last time. I took a deep breath and looks at the sky. "It's about to rain. I don't want you to get sick." Irene pushed me until I fell on the ground, then running.
I saw Tyler running after her. So, this is it? This is the end? My tears fall as the rainfall from the sky. As if they were crying together with me. I closed my eyes and sobbing.
I wiped my tears as I looked at Tyler, put his arm around her shoulder. Pulled her closer. I want you to be happy, Irene. Not in a cage like ours relationship. Be happy for me. That's all I want.
It might be so sweet and bitter, but life must go on. I hugged myself as if it makes me warm in the middle of rainfall. "Are you forgetting about your lawsuit?!" I did not answer his question.
"Leave me alone," Right, I forgot about my another appointment. "I want to be alone right now." I stood up and run as fast as I could. Regret? No. I'm not regret anything. If it's the best for the two of us, I'll do anything. Even I should sacrifice my feeling for her happiness? I will do it.
I love her. Now, she's my ex-girlfriend. I stopped to catch a breath and looked surround me. I kneeling down and stare at the empty street covered in fog.
I screamed as loud as I could. Now, the dream we built faded into black. There's nothing I can do about it. Nothing.