It was anything but a pleasant dinner. Maria and Thomas were already seated when the flushed pair came down the stairs.
Unaware of the prior incident, Maria did her best to keep the conversation going, without receiving much help. Melvin answered her questions politely but kept glancing at Liv, who kept looking over at Thomas.
"It's so nice of you to help Liv out with math", Maria said and smiled at Melvin.
Thomas looked down at his plate, darkly amused, but Liv made sure to cut in before he had the chance to say anything.
"Yes, he's great. He's taught me lots."
"I'll say", Thomas muttered under his breath and Liv stared daggers at him, blushing even more. Melvin looked as if he might let out a nervous laugh any second but Maria seemed oblivious.
"Sorry, what did you say, Tommy?"
"Oh nothing. Just that when I went up to fetch them they had gone so far into... the world of mathematics."
His voice was scornful and... and that something else again. That thing, that emotion she couldn't quiet pinpoint. Feeling like she had been punched in the gut, Liv suddenly realized it was disgust. Pure, barely contained, loathing disgust.
The meal went on and Maria kept on acting as clueless as ever. Thomas thought she was being unreasonably naive. In front of her sat two teenagers, blushing like crazy, lips still practically swollen from... A wave of nausea hit him. Should not have thought of that. He dropped his knife and fork so that they slammed against the plate. Coughing he got up, excused himself and left the table. "Tommy? Are you alright? You've barely touched your food."
Maria sounded worried but he just kept on coughing, mumbled something about having to get a call from work, and hurried outside.
"He works too much, our Tommy. Far too young for it too. I mean, your twenties are supposed to be reserved for partying and seeing the world", Maria said and winked at Melvin.
If Liv hadn't been so busy with her shell shock from stumbling upon the conclusion that she apparently revolted Thomas, she would have rolled her eyes at her mother's comment. Maria Svartling had never had to worry about money. As was common among people born into wealth, she couldn't quite grasp the inexorable fact that people less fortunate needed money, that education and work meant food, paying of bills, a future in general. Both Liv and Arvid had grown up to start seeing their mother as kind of a fairy-tale princess - never having anything but the greatest of intentions yet without much understanding for how complicated life could be. However, all Liv could currently think about was Thomas and how his mouth had twisted, how his brows had furrowed and how his throat had moved when he swallowed with difficulty.
Icy air poured into Thomas's lungs and he tilted his head back, knowing he had no right, no fucking right to feel this way, to act this way. Going behind the corner of the house, he leaned against the brick wall, fumbled for a cigarette.
After chain-smoking three, the nausea started to subside somewhat and his breaths had gotten more regular. Still, he was lighting a fourth one when the house door swung open. Eager to remain unseen, he pressed himself harder against the wall.
"I'm so sorry. I swear he's not usually so... hostile."
Liv's giggling and apologetic voice.
"Oh, don't be sorry. It was an... an experience alright", Melvin laughed, "Maybe your brother makes it next time and then they can both just beat me to death."
The voices trailed off and Thomas exhaled, was just about to put the cigarette to his lips again when it was snatched out of his hand.
"Liv! Jesus. Don't touch that!"
Liv raised it to her own mouth with a teasing smile.
"This one's mine now."
Grinning she spun in the snow, hair all tousled and cheeks adorably flushed. It actually hurt to look at her, so he focused on a point just behind her instead.
"You said you'd quit", she then said and sounded genuinely disappointed.
"Yeah well you said you'd never nick them from me again, remember?", he made an attempt to retrieve it from her but she stepped out of reach.
"Guess we're both liars then."
As Liv put the cigarette in between her lips, his chest tightened with anxiety.
"Stop! I don't want you fucking near those", he growled and she raised her eyebrows and smiled, stepping out of reach again.
"Hypocrisy if I ever saw it."
"That's not it. You know Arvid would... Your mom would..."
"Would what? Maybe I'll just tell them you've been giving them to me as a little favor. You'd deserve that after what you pulled at dinner."
Threateningly she waved the cigarette in his face.
"I didn't tell her anything - even though I should have. She'd be interested in knowing her little daughter isn't really doing her math homework."
"Give it up! We did do math. It was nothing anyways!"
"Nothing? Certainly didn't look like that."
The dismay on his face was obvious and Liv's smile had faltered completely.
"You think I can't tell but it's obvious."
Thomas's heart dropped and he shook his head as she took a step closer this time.
"You can't even deign to look straight at me. Is that how repulsed you are?"
Taking yet another step closer she stared up at him. Already standing back against the wall he couldn't back away further. Not that close, not this close, was all he could think. Christ, she had to know what she was doing to him.
Despite him muttering her name out as a warning, she came even closer, angled her face so that it was just inches away from his. Turning his cheek to the side he swallowed hard, held his breath so as not to feel the scent of her.
"Do I... disgust you in some way, Thomas?", she whispered, a faint tremble in her voice.
Something flashed across his face.
"No, but you do know you don't owe him anything just because he helps you with math, right?"
That was not at all what she had expected and she stumbled backwards. The subtext was loud and clear: slut.
"You've no fucking right, you know that? You can't just show up when you feel like it and meddle in my life and play big brother for a bit. Just... God! Back off!"
It was silent for a couple of moments. Snow had begun to fall.
"Sure."
Thomas walked to his car, compelling himself to not look over his shoulder even once.