Our bodies were pressed up against each other heatedly against the couch, breathing heavily as our lips pressed together. "If you want me to stop, tell me now," Ashton mumbled. And before i could answer, he kissed my ear causing me to gasp in pleasure. Warmth flooded my face as he took the chance to put his tongue in my mouth.
Holy shit! This was hot!
I had read in one of those crazy magazines that you would know what to do with your hands when kissed, and that your eyes should be closed, and you should tilt your head slightly. But i thought I might have to write them a letter of complaint, because my hands stayed glued to the couch, my eyes were wide and staring straight ahead, but I was kissing him back. At least they got one thing right, my body was starting to tingle. And i felt a little dizzy as the kiss started to get a sexy feeling.
I might be dizzy, or this might just be more heart palpitations. My breath was definitely blown away. The kissing was gentle and fierce just like Ashton. His damp plump lips felt so damn good rubbing against mine.
If I were to ever imagine a kiss, I would imagine this one, soft and moist, hot and breathy, not like he was going to dominate me, but seeking a happy union. I could feel all his emotion as he held me desperately. The sincerity felt almost overwhelming.
"Why?" I asked when Ashton finally pulled away.
"I think you're smart enough to know why, and you wouldn't have picked up on it if I didn't make a move," Ashton said. He helped me sit back up and stared right into my eyes. "I hope you can forget about Vincenzo because I've really fallen for you hard. I love everything about you. I fall for you more everyday, and I know for a fact that I can make you happy."
"That was my first kiss."
"I'm glad I didn't wait any longer then," Ashton kissed my ear again. Oh shit! I'm rock hard. "I'd like it if you let it influence your decision over who you eventually pick. Until then, I want you to think about seriously dating me. I want to date you with the intention of marriage."
Should I explain that I was totally aroused right now? The thought of his big hands and body....I'm really curious. God, if his dick is huge like he was, then he really has everything anyone would want! I wanted to try it out.....maybe....I don't know!
"I'm not expecting an answer now, so you can relax, Dan. I just want you to know my intentions with you. Just know that I'll be gentle with you....at first," Ashton must've drank something. Surely something was put in his hot chocolate. Did he mean that in a dirty way?
"I'll think about it," I quickly turned away from him after realizing that I was about to start fantasizing. "What made you start liking someone like me?"
"Someone like me? What do you think of yourself?"
"Not much," I was a waste of space who probably didn't have much time left on Earth. I didn't have anything I could offer anyone to make them like me at all. Let alone anything of value. Why would he like a depreciating asset like me?
"You sneezed next to me. It was so cute I couldn't help but start to like you," Ashton said with a straight face. "And you bring a lot more to the table than you think."
"I'm home!" I heard my dad call out before I could ask Ashton to elaborate. Ashton stood up and stroked my face a few times before leaving me alone in the living room.
I could still feel my skin tingle from where he touched me. My lips were a bit sore and throbbing from the intensity of that kiss. My ears were ringing after listening to that confession.
Since when could such a good boy be so smooth.
"Dad!" I called.
My dad plopped himself onto the couch and grabbed a fistful of popcorn. Oh, right, we never ate any of it. "You're all red. You getting that fever again?"
"No, dad...Ashton and I just made out!" I squealed. "I'm freaking out!"
My dad started to choke on the popcorn. "Um, well, I guess it depends on if you like it or not? Just make sure he uses protection."
Everything now felt extremely awkward. I thought you were supposed to talk to your parents about these things? "Protection? That's seriously all you have to say?"
"What do you want me to say? It's hard enough knowing my son brings home boys to make out with but I'm still trying to be supportive here! Just yesterday I was changing your diapers!" Dad bugged out. "Oh, I don't care that you're into guys, Dan, as long as your healthy. You just kind of sprung that on me."
"Whatever! So, Ashton kissed me and said he liked me! He said he wanted to date me," I recounted what had just happened for my father.
"No sex! No sex until you're married! Just promise me that!"
"No!" I snapped. "Just tell me what to do!"
"I don't know! Just don't have sex!"
"You don't think it's weird?!"
"Whoever doesn't like my son is an idiot!"
"Dad! Be serious!" I begged him. I'm completely losing my shit right now.
"Um.....well, if it were me, I'd accept going out with him and see if I have feelings in return." Dad tried. "You might like Ashton back?"
I looked at my dad in disappointment. It wasn't like he knew what exactly my dilemma was, so I couldn't blame him for giving me simple advice. "It's wrong to date someone if you like someone else, right?"
"Dating someone else can help you feel less for the other person, though i don't think I'd feel really secure in that situation. I'd be constantly worried that they might go back to the other person and I'd be left heartbroken. I wouldn't like it all." Dad contemplated. I didn't want to make Ashton feel like that! "It's something that doesn't seem likely to work in my favor, it's better to quit in advance."
Should I tell Ashton to quit it? I'd lose my good friend, but it was the last year of high school. I can make more when I go off for college anyway, right? I can just spend the rest of high school fantasizing and ignoring the feelings I knew existed.
Easy....to think about. In real life I could never just be that cold to someone who gave me a genuine friendship and happiness! It'd make me a bad person and I know that I'd come to regret acting that way if I really went thru with it. I'd die from guilt.
"So...."
"Why does he like you?"
"I don't know! But he said something about liking the way I sneeze," I freaked.
"He's laying it on thick, that's something only someone who's paying close attention to you would notice. Anyway, just ignoring it won't make it go away, so you might as well face it head on. The sooner it's taken care of, the better. I didn't teach you to run from anything because it's hard."
"But I don't know what to do. Tell me and I'll do what you say dad!"
"This is one of those things I can't decide for you, Dan. You sound like you liked the kiss, so why not go for it?" Dad pushed. "Just date him if you want to."
"Should I make it a trial period just to be safe? I can write up an agreement-"
"Fuck that, stop reading those comic books. Anything contracted is business kid, and if you mix the two, he becomes an escort."
"An escort?"
"He'd be selling himself to you under contract, metaphorically, but the point still stands. You can handle it without trampling over someone's feelings....if you reject him...Actually, I think you're too young to date anyway. Just stay home with dad like you said you would. You can be my prized son forever."
"I'd rather die, just find yourself a girlfriend already." I immediately brushed off my dad being overly affectionate again. He had to seriously get out more, all he does is work and come home and I think it's because of me.
"You promised me that you would stay with me forever, Dan! You had no idea how relieved I was when you swore off girls!"
"I was five!"
"You were cuter back then too! Now you're making out with boys! Don't you know all men are dogs! He's probably up to no good."
"Ashton's a good boy though. A golden retriever," Ashton with puppy ears would look really good. A nice strong puppy. That's hot. "I just need advice on how to move forward."
"You don't have to answer tomorrow, Danny! Take your time to think things over a bit. These emotions will sort themselves out if you just go with the flow. You know what you want, you've never done anything without thinking about it three times and that just stresses you out."
"Yeah, I don't have to answer tomorrow," I breathed out in relief. I can think on it and if I don't feel the same way, I can just reject him nicely.
The doorbell rang suddenly shutting both me and my dad up. Dad quickly went to go answer the door as I guess he was feeling extra uncomfortable right now. I couldn't blame him not wanting to talk about these things with his son.
A few seconds later, my dad returned with Vincenzo. Shit! I forgot to text him! "Well, look who finally came home."
"Hey, Vincenzo, what're you doing here?"
"I told you I was going to come hang out," Vincenzo crossed his arms and walked straight to my room. My dad shot me a curious look and I proceeded to shrug. I don't recall making any plans with this guy either, but I guess this was happening now. I just wish Vincenzo picked a better time.
I've been too distracted by Ashton.
I got up and followed Vincenzo into my room cautiously. "Whose jacket are you wearing?" He asked when I entered the room. I still had Ashton's huge jacket on and I didn't even notice it because it was so comfortable. I only forgot about it because I was kissed so passionately.
"Ashton let me wear it because I was cold."
Vincenzo didn't look happy. "Take it off. Your home aren't you?"
I shrugged and slipped out of the jacket. I guess I didn't feel as cold as i was before, and if Ashton's assumptions were correct, Vincenzo wouldn't like me wearing this jacket. I didn't think he would immediately become so angry though. "I guess I don't need it on inside."
"Here," Vincenzo was suddenly behind me pulling his own sweater up my arms. "This suits you better than that old thing."
"Um, ok," I said trying not to burst from anxiety. Was he going to start bitching and moaning about Ashton again? Ignoring the obvious tension in the room, I got my study materials out so I had something to distract myself. "Aren't you going to study?"
"I was, but I couldn't concentrate because you were gone for so long. Then you brought him here again," Vincenzo admitted while looking at the things scattered around my room. "Before you start, I'm not going to talk shit about your little friend again, so relax. He just annoys the shit out of me when he sticks to you."
"We were just hanging out," I explained without reason. I'm not exactly sure on why I felt I the need to explain myself but I did. Now I'm just acting like I did something wrong when I didn't! I'm just extremely nervous on what to do about Ashton.
"My person," Vincenzo suddenly said. He stood there reading some notebook I hadn't seen since middle school. "The flowers that bloom in spring are pretty, but not as pretty as my-"
I launched myself at him as I remembered what exactly he was reading. A love poem I wrote for Vincenzo near Valentine's Day a very long time ago. I never ended up giving him the poem because some girl I didn't like got to him first, so I lost all confidence. "Give me that!"
"You still have things from middle school?" Vincenzo held the notebook out of my reach and smiled mischievously at me.
"Give it back!"
"You look cute when you're embarrassed," Vincenzo laughed. He put an arm around my waist to hold me to him but still held the notebook out of my reach. I couldn't even focus on how close the two of us were because I just needed that notebook out of his hands before he saw more of it. "I'll give it back, but you have to tell me who you wrote this about. Was it that girl who didn't know your name really well? No, she went back to Spain."
"Vincenzo!" I whined. He handed me the notebook back and I held it close to my chest, leaving me no choice but to now acknowledge that Vincenzo and my faces were extremely close to each other.
"Fine, we were just kids back then. Fuck, who was the asshole you liked in middle school though? You pretty much only hung out with me," Vincenzo seemed to put two and two together by himself. "It's about me?"
"I wrote this when I was young! I didn't know any better!" I screeched my defense! But Vincenzo was ignoring what I just said. He put both his hands on my lower back to press our bodies tightly together.
"Was it really me? You liked me since we were twelve?" Vincenzo stared directly into my eyes. "Was it then or before? How old were you when you started liking me? Was it when we started school or-"
"It was back in elementary school, but I was just confused because we were so close! And that's obviously not the case now, so can we just drop it?" I begged.
Vincenzo let me go and I quickly shoved the notebook in a corner, making a mental note to throw it the fuck out later. God, how embarrassing was it that he had to find it after all these years?! And a love poem about him that probably wasn't even good! I thought I got rid of all the things that reminded me of him a while ago!
Who knew I missed a few things?
"Did you stop because I started to hate you?"
No! I continued on like a fucking idiot! I don't need you rubbing that in my face! "I just said I didn't even like you then."
"So it's all about Ashton now?"
"What? Me and Ashton are not what you think we are, so stop being so cold to him just because you misunderstood our dynamic," I tried leaving out the fact that I was confessed too and kissed.
"Really? Then..." Vincenzo grabbed my shoulders so I would face him. "I like you, a lot. You can even call this feeling love, I just know I've never felt this way about anyone. It's not the family kind or the friend kind of love. That's why this is hard, because I've done things to you. I know that I should be grateful that you even consider me a friend anymore, but no matter how hard I try....no matter what I think about it, I can't give up. I'll never give up. I'm going to keep coming to see you. Even if you find someone, I'll wait five or even ten years until it ends, then I'll make you love me again. Even if you think of me as a friend, I'll keep loving you. So don't just ask me to be your friend after today."
Motherfucker! Ashton was correct about this going down! I didn't think it would be so fucking soon though! As much as I imagined feeling if this ever happened, none of those feelings I thought would come up did! All I could feel was a horrific level of anxiety and terror down to my bones. It was an such an uneasy nauseating feeling that I wasn't sure of the origin, just that it made me feel gross.
"Why?"
"Because....there's actually lots of reasons," Vincenzo lowered his head a bit. It was the first time I had ever seen him lower his head or not know what to say to something. His normally calm face had gone completely red and his eyes kept darting around as he looked for the right words. "Um, I love everything about you. But like, you've been the only person to give a shit about me, ever. And there's the time you came to find me even when no one else cared. And you've stood by and taken care me even when I was being a complete dick to you. I felt that you loved me so I-"
"S-stop! I can't help be be worried about you, we've been friends since diapers. I can still do all that as your friend! Are you sure that's what you feel?"
"Yes! How should I put it? I want to do dirty stuff with you," Vincenzo mumbled. Dirty stuff? Like sex dirty stuff? "If I thought of you as just my friend, I wouldn't have dreamed about screwing you until you can't walk every time I saw you."
I had no idea what to say! Being screwed until I couldn't walk sounded...really amazing. Vincenzo sweating on top of me, naked and out of breath just sounded like a dream come true. Who wouldn't want to be under Vincenzo so intimately. Great now I'm anxious and horny! "I-"
"Are you thinking about it?" Vincenzo asked. I turned my head so I wasn't looking at him anymore. "I know the way I'm acting is confusing. Everyday I feel a lot of regret, that maybe if I had just spoken to you or given you the benefit of the doubt like you deserved, I would've loved you the right way sooner and maybe you'd love me back."
"What the fuck? First Ashton, now you?" I groaned. This was a lot to think about at once.
"What?" Shit! I said that out loud!
"Ashton said that he liked me too."
"Well, he may like you, but I love you," Vincenzo came closer to me again as he said this. He took my hands and started to kiss my fingers, which made my heart start to skip beats. It was too sweet to handle but I was steadying myself ready for him to just hit me or something and say it was all a joke. "I love you a lot more than he ever can. I'm not saying this lightly either, I'd be happy with just a little bit of hope. Give me some hope that I'm not too late."
"I-I didn't say yes."
"You rejected him, good."
"No! I said I'd think about it!" I started to freak out again. "How can I just answer him after he kissed me so suddenly? Anyone would freak out."
"He kissed you?"
"Um.....no?" Me and my big fucking mouth! "Ok yeah, he kissed me. He kissed me, then confessed his feelings for me and asked me to take my time to think! He even said to let the kiss influence my decision even though it was my first kiss. I was thinking about it but then you showed up and confessed like he told me you would!"
"He warned you about me? What else did he say?"
"Just to let the kiss influence my decision," I repeated. Why did I answer? Why do I naturally like to provoke people like they can't retaliate against me?
"Then let me try to influence your decision as well!" Vincenzo snapped. His lips mashed against mine roughly, but it didn't hurt. The fierceness of the kiss forced my mouth open so he could push his tongue past my clenched teeth. His lips were soft, silken, almost pillowy against my own.
Suddenly he grabbed my hair from behind to expose my neck as he attached his lips to my skin. I let out a loud gasp and could feel him smiling against my neck. Holy shit! He was good at this! He leaned forward until I was laying on my back and he was hovering over me still kissing up and down my neck. "Vincenzo!" I gasped.
Vincenzo took that chance to look into my eyes again. His left hand was still behind my head and his right firmly held my hip. Slowly he moved his right hand over to cup my butt as he kissed me again.
Kissing Vincenzo in real life was nothing like what I had fantasized it would be like. This was a kiss that felt purely sexual in nature, as if he had been waiting to try and eat me up for a long time. Most of all, I could feel the longing he was trying to convey to me, but it just made me uncomfortable and scared.
"Let that influence you," Vincenzo broke the kiss to whisper this into my ear. This is really sexy! Too sexy too handle! "Your hearts beating really fast. I'm glad I can influence you as well. You seemed to like it too though. Should we keep going?"
"I...." The thought of making out with my crush of ten plus years was very appealing to me. Actually this was an ideal situation....but I still felt incredibly scared. Since I don't say anything, Vincenzo started to lean back down and kiss my cheeks and lips softly. His hand started to go underneath my pants and underwear grabbing a handful of a bare cheek. "What-"
"I'm warning you now, If we keep kissing like this, I don't think I'll be able to hold myself back," he looked down towards his pants and my eyes followed his. It looked like his pants were struggling to stay closed. He was hard like that from just kissing me? "I'm not even fully hard yet, but I want to fuck you right now."
"T-T-too fast!" I felt myself panicking. On impulse I covered my face with both hands.
"Do you blush all over your body?" Vincenzo lifted my shirt up a bit. "I'd like to see it someday soon."
"Vincenzo!"
"Yeah, yeah," Vincenzo sat regularly before pulling me back up into a sitting position. I took a moment for myself to catch my breath and calm down a little more. Vincenzo just kissed because he wanted too! The Italian Stallion wanted me! He was just kissing me and if I hadn't stopped it...I might not have been a virgin in the morning.
I think I'm going to pass out.
I couldn't believe it! I didn't like this kiss nearly as much as I liked Ashton's kiss, but I still liked it. Am I becoming slutty for liking the touches of multiple people? Maybe a potential threesome? Fuck! This is just becoming more and more complicated by the minute!
"Just give me time to think about it!"
"That's all I want," Vincenzo said. "But now that I know what that prick is making his move, I'll be amping up my advances."
"Amping up?" I asked.
Vincenzo grabbed the back of my head again and played another firm kiss on me. "Yeah, I'm going to amp it up, be prepared for it. Pretty soon, everyone will know you belong with me."
"Please don't make a scene," I begged knowing how over the top Vincenzo can get when he put his mind to it. "I don't want any trouble."
"I won't make any trouble for you, I just want to show my sincerity to you," he pressed his forehead to mine. "I can wait, like I said, but don't ever forget that I love you. Even if I don't deserve it, please love me back. I'll gladly make it up to you for the rest of my life, because It's my turn to make you happy."
I've wanted to hear those words for so fucking long now! If he had said this before, I'd probably forget everything about the past and we'd be rolling around in bed by now. But now I don't feel the same as I did back then, because Ashton was quickly gaining my affections.
Vincenzo pushed my thin hair back and looked at me. "I'm only upset that Ashton has a chance. It's my fault that he was even able to have one in the first place. Until then, I'll use my advantage to win back the love you lost for me."
"Please stop being cheesy," I went back to my study materials. Vincenzo sighed as he inches closer to me. He got closer and closer until his stomach was on my back and his legs were on either side of me before he rested his chin on my shoulder. How was I supposed to get anything done now? "I can't concentrate."
"You can't?" Vincenzo's hands played with the hem of my shirt as he whispered into my ear again. "Why?"
"Do you have to do everything sexy?" I asked him.
"So you think I'm sexy? Is that why you aren't studying?" Vincenzo moved his lips closer so his breath tickled my ear.
"Vincenzo-"
"I just want to be nicer to you than anyone else," Vincenzo explained. "I've never even been very nice to my girlfriends in the past."
"Why?"
"No reason, they just aren't... you," he said.
"You were mean to me though."
"Because I wasn't accepting my feelings and I acted like a stupid child. I love you so I bullied you, like a moronic kid, because I'm not allowed to have you," Vincenzo said. "Its no excuse, but it's what happened."
"I need to study before bed, Vincenzo," I was honestly about to lose my mind from his sexy voice speaking into my ear. I was already trying my hardest to keep my dick down as well.
"Si, ti amo piccola," Vincenzo told me he loved me a couple more times in Italian. I knew he was just doing that to fuck with my mind. He wanted me to have something to jerk off too so I'll think about him more! He'd definitely be petty enough to do that. "I hope you think about only me tonight. Think about everything we'll soon be doing, in your bed, in my bed and pretty soon in OUR bed. Night!"
With a kiss to my neck, Vincenzo got up and exited my room nonchalantly.
Motherfucker, he was smooth like butter.
That night, I thought it would be impossible to sleep after being put in an impossible position. But in the end, I passed out from exhaustion the moment my head hit the pillow. I must've been burnt out without me knowing what the rest of senior year held in store for me.
As usual, Ashton picked me up in the morning for school and, just to avoid the topic, I slept some more in his car on the way.
"We're here," I felt Ashton shake me awake as we arrived at school. I followed Ashton from the student parking lot groggily as I was still waking up and rubbing my eyes.
"YOU BITCH!!!" I heard some girl scream. I looked forward to see a raging Minnie Thompson stomping around. I wonder who was so unlucky to go and piss her off so early in the morning. She got closer and closer to us so instinctively I moved out of her way, but she caught my arm and smacked me right across the face.
That woke me up.
Ashton immediately got in front of me to block her next attack. "What the hell is your problem?! Are you crazy?!" He asked.
"Shut up! Let me get to that fucking slut!" Minnie came for me again now attracting a crowd with her loud voice. If she was so pissed off, why was she making a scene publicly? "Just how long have you been with Vincenzo!?"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" I asked her through the pain in my cheek.
"I called Vincenzo last night to get back together! Any other time, he would've said yes right away! He told me that it's always been you! I knew there was something going on between you two!" Minnie yelled for everyone to hear. "Why's Vincenzo making it public that he loves you?!"
"What?!" Ashton snapped. Immediately Minnie backed away from us. Ashton blocked Minnie from slapping me again before asking her, "What does he have to do with Dan?"
"He said he dumped me because of him! Hospice Boy here made me look bad!" Minnie snapped. Her ego was seriously out of control. "You stole my boyfriend!"
Weren't they broken up for more than a few years by now? Why would Vincenzo say he dumped Minnie because of me? I thought he wasn't going to make any trouble for me! Now he's made me his scapegoat once more!
The bullshit was that Vincenzo brought me drama once more.
"I didn't steal your boyfriend," I hissed at her. "You cheated on him multiple times with multiple people, isn't that why you two broke up? Wasn't one time with Martin, you know, his best friend? You're the slut here!"
Minnie went absolutely red. "I wouldn't have done that if he treated me like his actual girlfriend! You think he cared about what I did?! Or about what any of his last girlfriends did?! No! Because he only cared about you the entire time! Every time he would just go on and on about you! A fucking pathetic bitch with six more weeks to live!"
"Fuck off and shut up," Ashton got in Minnie's face effectively shutting her up. She looked absolutely terrified of Ashton right now. He turned his glare to the few on lookers and they quickly went on with whatever it was they were doing. "Leave him alone, Minnie."
"It won't even matter! Everyone in school knows that Vincenzo loves you now! You think they'll leave you alone now?! You think you'll be accepted now because Vincenzo acknowledges you exist?! Give it a rest! Nobody will ever forget that some sick kid no one likes seduced him!" Minnie stomped her foot angrily. "I won't forget this, you bitch!"
"Are you alright?" Ashton gently touched my cheek causing me to wince. Ashton was about to say something to Minnie but I just shook my head. There was no need for a scene with another one of Vincenzo's exs."Let's go get some ice to put on it so it doesn't swell."
Ashton led me towards the nurses office quickly. He used his arm to block everyone who deemed it necessary to stare at us.
"Thanks," I relaxed once we reached the nurses office. Unfortunately the nurse wasn't there at all, so Ashton just got the ice pack himself.
"No problem," he pressed it on my face and held it for me. "How do you feel about the new development that Vincenzo brought."
"Just as I feared. Troublesome," I admitted. "I don't want to deal with all his exs again! I already did that in the past! He confessed to me last night but I didn't think he was going to do all this."
"He confessed to you as well, huh?"
"Because I accidentally let it slip that you confessed, and that we kissed. So he confessed and kissed me too, and now my mind is fucked up. He actually told me all this last night after you left, but my mind is just a cluster fuck." I vented. "Every new thing is becoming like a ton of bricks."
"Hm, so your mind is going crazy?" Ashton asked me. "It must be hard dealing with that all by yourself."
"Yes, it's a lot to think about. I even asked my dad what I should do next, but he just told me that he couldn't decide for me. I don't want to run away from the problem because that's just not me, but it's the hardest thing I've ever had to think about."
"How?"
"Well look at it like this, in math you receive an equation and there's already a set formula to follow and a correct answer. But with people there is no formula or correct answer every time. The emotions are confusing and they effect you mentally. And if you act on flaring emotions, you end up doing stupid shit."
"Why is it so scary to do stupid shit?" Ashton asked. "I've done a lot of stupid shit."
"I'm afraid of failure."
"If that were true, you wouldn't have risked being a social pariah when you were getting your revenge. You also wouldn't have accepted me as a friend because of who you met me thru. So why are you afraid of looking stupid?" Ashton asked. "Actually, since we have similar experiences at school, I understand the fear. Everyone will laugh at you, you'll be gossiped about and bullied more."
"So you do know." I breathed a sigh of relief. Ashton was definitely a person that could understand where I was coming from. After all who can understand an outcast better than another outcast?
"But they already do that," Ashton pointed out. I almost went off on him but stopped when I couldn't even think of a good enough argument. "They already laugh and point and gossip no matter what you do. So what is so bad? Even when you haven't done anything stupid, they don't like you."
"I know that!" He couldn't just let me be delusional. He had to go all therapist on me to help me clear up my thoughts. Annoying, but I guess, that's why I kept talking to him about my problems. Because he was actually really good at this. "Fuck, I know that. I'm not afraid of looking stupid or like a failure. I couldn't give a shit about that. I never cared what they think."
"But now you do. It's probably because it's about Vincenzo. You always get very anxious whenever he's brought up by someone else. This time you might feel anxious because he's doing things in a very grandiose way. You also might be touched by the gesture so you're not sure how to react." Ashton analyzed.
"Fuck that, as if I would feel good about something like this," I said. Ashton pressed the ice pack harder against my cheek making me wince before taking it off my face. Fuck, he did that on purpose!
"Am I just making it harder on you?"
"No, at least you know how to not make people worry and you aren't nearly as selfish. Plus everything feels safer and more pleasant with you," Which made me sorry that I hadn't given his confession nearly as much thought as Vincenzo's. Was that bad?
"Ok, then I might know another way to help you clear your mind. Want to try it?" He asked.
"Yeah," I said. Was this a new form of therapy or something? "What do I need to do?"
"Nothing if you don't want too," the next second, two warm lips blocked all my words. Everything I was thinking about suddenly felt like everything burdening me was melting away from my mind. Am I drunk? Why am I so dizzy? Too much medicine this morning?
He gripped me by the waist to keep my knees from buckling, pulled me close to him and kissed me deeply, as if he wasn't satisfied with just distracting me. I opened my mouth and our tongues fought for dominance over the other. Every corner of my mouth was being teased by him making my mind go blank and my ears ring.
I just wanted to keep doing this for a while. I found myself wrapping my arms around Ashton's neck to try and bring the bliss I was feeling closer. Ashton lowered us down onto the infirmary bed so we lay down side by side. I heard a loud series of moans coming from us both as the kiss went on. Everywhere Ashton was rubbing kept tingling.
"If you grind on me like that, we won't make it back to class," Ashton huffed. God Ashton looked hot when he was like this. He was as out of breath as I was but I couldn't help but heat up in embarrassment. I was just about to use Ashton to get off while my pants were still on.
"I didn't realize-"
"It's ok. I'm hard too," Ashton said before kissing me again. His hands moved from my back to the front of my jeans. "Sometimes, this kind of thing can clear your mind as well. Should I?"
"Ok," I agreed immediately.
Ashton chuckled and zipped my pants down and took my length in his hands. Oh! It feels better when it's someone else hand! I could immediately feel an intense sensation rising up and Ashton's kiss muffling my moans intense pleasure. Kissing made it even better.
"Ashton!" I whimpered against his lips before finishing all over his hand. I broke the kiss to catch my breath for a bit and noticed that Ashton had made no moves to take care of himself.
Should I do it too?
I unzipped Ashton's pants and moved the underwear down a bit. Holy shit, I'm staring at a monster! My small hands couldn't even fit around it well, and I would definitely need both of them. Could that big thing even fit anywhere? It was proportional to his huge body size, but it was still much bigger than I could've imagined. Fuck it, I grabbed it with both hands and followed what I felt Ashton do to me.
It's hot and pulsing! Omg, I'm holding the real thing.
Ashton had closed his eyes and was breathing heavily. I think I was making him feel good as well too. He sure looked like he was getting off. I leaned forward to kiss him gently as I kept going. Ashton's moans got sexier bit by bit while he kept whispering for me to keep going.
Suddenly Ashton's big hand grabbed a handful of my hair and deepened our kiss as I felt a lot of liquid spill out onto my hand. I looked down at my hands which were now covered in a cloudy looking substance.
I just jerked Ashton off....and he jerked me off....and it was relaxing as fuck! I want to do it again! Maybe go a lot further than this. Ashton wiped my hands off with a towel as he smiled at me. "Was that any good?" I asked.
"Very. Feeling relaxed?" Ashton asked between giving me short sweet kisses.
"Yeah, my mind is clear and I feel relaxed," I said.
"Soooooo, do you blush all over?"
"Y-yes!" I whispered.
"That's really hot," Ashton pulled me closer to him so we could cuddle. "Just so you know, I only came fast because it's the first time I've been touched by someone else but myself."
"You lasted longer than I did, no one's touched me before either," I admitted. Replaying Ashton's horny face in my head over and over. "It didn't help me make a decision."
"It wasn't supposed to. I was just helping you clear your mind since you got more and more upset talking about that guy," Ashton told me. "Truthfully, I want you to like me more than him and I wanted to touch you more. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?"
"I'm pissed off that an asshole like him kissed you, so I honestly took advantage of the situation a bit. I'm really sorry, because I know I shouldn't be so jealous, but I can't help but be afraid that you will be touched by something he does and run straight to him. That's why I told you to take your time while I win you over, because I want all your love to myself." Ashton told me. "Still, I don't want to apply pressure on you."
"You haven't, no one has, I keep putting myself under pressure because Vincenzo tends to be over zealous when he chases someone," I shook my head in frustration.
"Extroverts are the worst," Ashton said. I had to agree with him on that. I honestly didn't understand how someone could be surrounded by people they don't know constantly, and still be happy about it.
"I understand why he does it, he can't help being extra because of his hyper activeness," I groaned. "I still don't fucking know what I should do about anything."
"Don't be so impatient," Ashton told me. "Things like this take time to think about, but it's only been less than 24 hours. It's also ok to not be sure of something important."
"Why are you so good at counseling?" I asked him.
"I'm a huge psychology nerd. My room is full of books on the brain and psychology and stories about it. The human mind is truly interesting to me. It can be destroyed but can also be repaired."
"What so interesting about that?"
"The rebirth of a person. There's something really cool about people who don't just give up like a lot of the population does. Every time you feel you're down, you find a way to make things right so you can go on with life. I really admire that quality about you."
"You admire me?" admiration? I've never been admired before. Am I supposed to thank him?
"Yeah, so I hope you'll stop looking down on the person I admire so much. It's hurts to see you be defeated by yourself after being so strong against everything else. You give me the courage to be myself around you, because you accept me how I am. Even my parents see that I'm not as timid as I once was."
When was this guy timid? From the beginning, Ashton's been a 'roll with the punches' kind of guy. He was a little passive aggressive, but never in a bad way, I guess. If anything, he was the affirmative action guy.
"I admire you too," I told him. "Though you tend to be over observant."
"If you don't like it, I can stop," Ashton offered.
"No, I like it. It's helpful, regardless of how annoying it can be. It's nice to know that you care, but I'm not good at that myself. I might not be able to tell if you're mad or bothered."
"If I feel anything, you're always the first one to know about it, Dan. Well, sometimes my parents know first but that's because they've raised me for so long."
Ashton was correct about everything we talked about. I can't ignore the issue of Vincenzo and I'm very much used to the chatter. Now there was just the issue of facing him during school, which I always did even when we were on bad terms. I was just panicking earlier because of Minnie Thompson being her usual bitchy self.
Ashton probably figured that out right away. His emotional intelligence was definitely way higher than mine was. It just made me wonder how he was raised more and more. I wonder what his daily routine is even at home. This could be my way in on his way of thinking.
"Can I come over today?" I found myself asking.
Ashton immediately perked up. "Yes! I mean, uh, my parents have been dying to meet you ever since I told them I like you."
"You told them?"
"Who else could I talk to about how much I like you? I think that they got so sick of hearing me speak about it, that they told me to just start courting you before I ask you out. They'll be really excited to meet you, Dan! Should I not have told them?"
"That's not what I meant! I'm just a bit shocked that you told them you like a guy."
"They don't care about that....as long as I don't have sex in their house while they're there." Ashton waved off my concerns. "I don't bring people to my home though, don't misunderstand me!"
"You made that clear, minute man."
"You dare insult me, Mr. Five seconds?" Ashton and I burst into a fit of laughter a few seconds after he said that. I haven't felt such a genuine carelessness for a long while.
But that just comes with Ashton.