When I woke up the next day I knew I wasn't going to be the kitchen's owner again. As usual Freddie couldn't keep his promises. It smelled wonderfully and Mary said good morning to me with a bright smile. She looked good, I looked awful. She was happy and I couldn't have been anymore sad.
- What's wrong, Eli? Haven't you slept well?
- I'm fine. A little tired.
- Freddie had told me you came with them to BBC. Did you enjoy?
- Yes. I met Marta. She was the only communication I had all day long.
- I know what you mean. When you are these crazy men's audience, the hours can be never ending.
- Have you already tasted scrambled eggs Austin? You won't eat better.
When Freddie burst into scene it was as though he burst into a stage filled with devoted fans. He required all our senses setting on him. Except Mary, of course. She was another history. She was above all of us. She hadn't anything to prove him, they were too identified with each other. But I, I didn't know quite well what I meant for him. Sometimes I thought I was an exquisite bite and sometimes a bone fell across his throat.
What did he do to me last night? He slid his tongue into my mouth and I was sleepless all night. Sometimes trembling and sometimes sweating. And now I wasn't going to cook his breakfast.
- Kids, I'm leaving. I gotta go to work -she announced kissing Freddie's lips and holding lovingly his hand to go and catch her coat afterwards-. See you later?
I hadn't yet shaped my plans. I hadn't yet sent my yesterday report to Fooling and that made me nervous, having work to catch up on. I should assured me to do it before go on in this mission.
As I answered nothing, Mary insisted paciently.
- And we're having a drink -she suggested.
- I'll be busy with the boys today -Freddie nosed into.
- Oh, I didn't talk about you, darling. I talked about a girls night.
- Auuuuu. That hurts -he dramatized an arrow in his heart bending over himself while Mary stared at him with funny patience.
- My baby hurts when we don't pay attention to him. Isn't that so?
- It's been so long since you pay attention to me, you know, Austin? This heartless -he pointed out at me with his challenging finger-, has spoiled our sexual life.
- Freddie, don't say that to Eli. She can't be sweeter.
- It's like suddenly we had a daughter who exploit all our attention.
- I'm telling you what we are doing. Eli and I are having some pints and when things start to go wild I'll call you and then you can save me from my depravity and I'll be yours whenever and anyhow.
- And what are we doing with our baby?
- Eli, forgive us for talking about you as though you weren't here. We are total assholes.
- I'm fine -I shrugged while I kept eating-. I enjoyed your breakfast.
- Are we meeting then?
- Yes.
- It's that alright with you meeting at Biba? And you behave yourself -she tapped Freddie's chest-. Bring the boys when you finish. We're going to Hawk 76. Better bring Roger. I know someone miss him.
Freddie looked at me frowning, catching the message.
- Roger is not a doggie to whom I could bring to places. He's rather an unpredictable cat, the bastard.
- Talking about cats. Don't forget about Tom and Jerry.
When Mary was gone, he glanced at the corner where cat's food and drink containers were. He checked on them and saw they were full.
- But, why does she tell me things to do that she's already done? I hope she has changed the litter box because I won't.
I let out a smile. I would find hard do without that mercurial way. Totally addictive. He served himself a plate of eggs and filled his second cup of tea. I had already finished. He was right, they were delicious.
- Is it true what Mary says? Do you miss him?
- I don't wanna talk about Roger with you -I settled finishing my tea.
- I thought we were friends.
What did Freddie just said? Have I heard well? He regarded me his friend. That was a wonderful idea, a great leap in the mission. In fact it was a vital step. When Fooling find out...
- Ah-huh, a great friend but Mary's breakfast is better than mine.
- Our baby is jealous.
- You won't have to worry too much about me. Your baby is becoming independent today.
- What did you mean?
- I leave you to fuck like rabbits whenever and wherever you like.
- Oh, don't take it so seriously, love. Mary and I joke a lot. Hey, wait. Have Rog and you made it up?
- You know quite well we haven't.
- Don't hold it against me, mousy. I'm not to blame of your fights.
- I've already finished. Do I have your permission to get dressed and leave? -I consulted him very upset.
- No.
- No?
- No if you're leaving angry with me.
- Who had told you I'm angry with you?
- Then with whom?
- With myself.
- Uhhh, darling. Sit that beautiful ass there.
- I gotta lot of things to do today, Freddie.
- I do too but I'm not moving so far and you aren't too. You are at my home and here I'm the boss.
Did he joke? He was the boss here, there and everywhere. He was a total controller. And then he raved at Brian.
- Which are your independence plans?
- So far I'm staying in a hotel while I find a flat.
- I see the money is not a problem but you can stay with us till you find a flat.
- No, Freddie.
- Is our home not too much lavish to our little princess?
- It's more than lavish. It's cosy, it has the most comfortable sofa in the world...
- Alright, I catch your irony. I let you sleep with us in bed. Maybe it takes time till you find a good flat in London and I don't want to put the blame on me for your back injury.
- I wasn't ironic, Fred. Stop now. How am I going to sleep with you?
- What? You are our friend.
- Oh, stop saying that. I'm not your friend. I've been just a drag from the moment I got out that broom closet.
- Friends used to be a drag. Friends share secrets. You and I share one.
- You can be safe, Fred. I'm the best and more reliable tomb of unspeakable. There's no need you be forced to tag me as friend. Your secret will die with me.
- I am not forced to anything, darling. Don't be ridiculous.
- Won't you let me to take a shower?
He briskly dragged the stool with me on top till he placed me stuck to him. I started to tense my body. It seemed unreal how such a thin and wiry body could be so intimidating. I had the feeling that I was encircled. Trapped without salvation.
- Have we talked everything? -he asked me fixing his big eyes on mine, dilated by the restlessness.
- Fred, I don't get it.
- Oh, yes, mousy. Yesterday you were very weird and today you keep the same way.
- Not only you have the exclusive.
- Tell me what's happen to you.
- Please, it didn't happen anything to me.
- I'm talking to Rog. Yesterday I think he was a little asshole with you. You should talk. His chin looked very badly. You are dangerous, did you know that?
- That's why I must get away from all of you.
- Honey, did anybody tell you, you are such a melodramatic?
- Can I leave?
- Hmmmm, ok -he said after staring at every feature on my face-. And don't look yourself so long at the mirror.
- Did you know vanity is not capital sin?
- Oh, in that case you and I are lucky. We won't go to the hell for it.
Thursday, 4th april 1974. Today in London is foggy and might be rainy. The raincoat will suit me fine today. The happiness that give me wearing clothes for the first time can replace my restlessness. I've wrote down a report to Fooling as much detailed as possible about yesterday session on BBC. But finishing my cold report, I consulted him about the decisions I'm about to take. My number 1 goal is 15th april I'm flying from Heathrow airport with them to the american tour. I still have 11 days left and I'm not convinced they invite me to that tour.
- You've just told me that Freddie regarded you as a friend. Do you know what does it mean?
- In any case it doesn't mean I have a ticket to America. Besides I don't think I am his friend, I know he screwed his wardrobe assistant.
- That is very useful to both. It doesn't matter how Freddie understands or reads his feeling of friendship for you. The thing it is there.
- What do you think moving to a hotel till I find a flat?
-Haven't you thought staying with Mary and Freddie and help them to pay the rent?
- It's a great idea, Fooling. I'm sure they wouldn't raise objections but it's not comfortable and I don't think is fair to them. They are a couple, they need their privacy.
- What about sharing the rent with Roger?
- Oh, God. Roger is still a bigger problem. He got away from me completely. I don't know what to do with him.
-Do you think he fell in love with you?
- No way. He wants me like a crazy. It's just that. And I don't know what to do...
- Blackqueen, I would never imagine you would fight with Roger in your third day of mission.
- It wasn't wise. I got carried away by the feelings when he sexually insulted me. I shouldn't go that far. It seems whatever I do finally they turned out to be destruction bombs.
- Don't exaggerate. Involving emotionally it's something you can't avoid, you know? You aren't a machine, you are a woman.
- I think I care about Roger. But like I care about my friend Alex, with no sexual connotation. And he, he stares at me and undress me, Fooling. What do you advise me to do?
- You might have to cure his chin scratch.
- What are you talking about?
- Mousy! Are you in there?
Freddie shook powerfully the bathroom knob. This time your're screwed, Mr Fahrenheit. It's closed and you won't see me again half naked.
- What do you think? What do you want?
- Just know if you are ok.
- Fucking great.
- I'm just saying if you are angry you're the first to give in and apologize. If he didn't do first.
- Then why don't you come out now? What are you doing there?
- Girls stuff. Leave me alone.
- Darling, everytime you get into the bathroom it seems like you've been abduced. Do you know it's been already an hour and a half?
- I need shaving my legs. More information?
- Well hurry up. I get bored here on my own.
- Excuse me, Fooling. Freddie drives me crazy. Queen are very complicated people. Everytime I move in their enviroment it's like I would tread over a fire circle juggling not to burning myself.
- I think you've come a long way.
- I'm about getting out Holland Park. Tell me what I have to do so they don't forget me. So all I've gained don't go to shit.
- Freddie is the central point around which everything revolves. I want your relationship with him to strenghten, become important.
- If I'm leaving, you are saying it will fade.
- Freddie is interested in you. His words, the things that he did to you. Don't let that slip away.
- You forget Mary is fond of me.
- I'm not telling you get laid the fucking Freddie Mercury. Read between lines.
- And what am I doing with Roger?
- Heal him.
- Are you ready, darling? Come downstairs, you have the driver waiting to drive you wherever you want.
Driver? What is Freddie talking about? I opened briskly the door carrying away all my things and fixing my eyes on him with acrimony.
- Do you do that to Mary too? Do you boycott her whenever she gets into the bathroom?
- Only I can be so long in there.
- Good heavens... -I rolled my eyes.
- Do you have everything?
I flew downstairs ahead of him. Was my driver Roger? I should imagine Freddie would lay a trap for me. He took advantage of my chronic lateness to give him a call to pick me up here. But he musn't have said to him that it was me. He was finding out now.
- Roger... -I couldn't help mumbling.
When I was talking to Fooling about him I didn't think I would have to put right so soon the problem. And the last thing he told me was "heal him". Things looked divine from 2020.
- Yes, here it is your knight in shining armour -Freddie couldn't help saying playful.
- Freddie, won't you stop saying nonsense? -Roger blurted out grabbing all my bags and opening the door, angry.
- Don't take him seriously. I've laid him a trap and he's angry with me. Not with you, love.
- Oh, really?
- Are you sure you got everything?
- I think so.
- Won't you embrace me?
I stretched my arms lazily trying to control my tears. It was as though suddenly I was embracing 1984 Freddie and explained to him desperately why I had to get away like this and leaving his beautiful drawing behind. That embrace which gave me this another Freddie, ten years younger, was like a soft blanket in the middle of my snowfall. I sighed distressed against his neck.
- Don't make Roggie wait -he let me go of him struggling, with a smile-. And don't hold me as though we would never see each other again.
- I'm sure I won't. When you go on tour...
- There's still time. Besides when I am in America I'll send you a postcard every day. Would you like?
Freddie was the tops. Totally eatable when he showed that uncontrolled love in each one of his pores. He couldn't understand it couldn't never help me to my plans. I should be on the ground. Watching his steps.
I came down the five steps of the door and headed toward the small green fence, closing it behind me.
Roger waited for me, folding arms and a leg crossed over the other, leaning against his car. A cute red Alfa Spider. His body language wasn't the most instigator to try having a civilized chat so I stopped in front of him and just said Hi.
It was freezing. The fog got thicker and started to fall a thin film of rain. The nice sports car had its hood down, which took away some beauty.
Roger got fast into his car and I did the same on the passenger seat. Once inside I looked at him but he just turned the ignition key to the right and asked me without turning where I want him to drive me. I explained Fooling that the events had overwhelmed me and I had not a break moment to quietly see hotels. It was very exotic he found me a right hotel to 1974 from 2020. I had planned to do it myself but as usual Freddie had shattered all my schemes.
And now I was with Roger inside his beautiful car and out of place was the least to describe my state.
- Strand Street.
Fooling had told me it was just half an hour on subway to Holland Park, Freddie's address. Not very far, not very near. It was perfect. I didn't know how far Roger lived.
We didn't talk all the way to the hotel. He helped me to take my load with resignation and not speaking a word. He was unrecognizable. And I thought looking at his snub nose well uptight that not clowning or chattering away, he looked infinitely more sexy.
- Room for two?
- Single, please.
After the admission procedures Roger came with me to the room and left everything in a couch. It was tiny but had good windows and nice seventies decoration. It felt welcoming.
- Roger, close the door.
- No, you are already settled. I made the errand for fucking Freddie and I'm free now.
- Please... we gotta talk. Don't you think?
- About what?
- About your silly jealous which hurt me... No, I'm going to be frank, not your silly jealous, your way of treating me as though I was a whore.
- Have you yet finished? -he said scratching the top of his head.
- Look at me -I took his cheeks not to take his injured chin-. I'm sorry for the scratching and slapping.
- Alright.
- Won't you say anything?
- I'm taking your apologies. What else want me to do?
- Apologize to me too. You know as I do that I'm not that kind of woman who shouted me out loud. If I had been, I would have slept with you since so long.
- I don't know that kind of woman you are, really. And I don't give a damn discovering it.
- I just want to be friends. Forget about that silly incident. It was really a complete nonsense. We...
- You ain't a friend of mine.
- Oh, come on, Rog...
- Don't call me Rog, don't touch me and don't staring at me like this.
- How am I staring at you?
- I would like not seeing you again. I need forget about all this.
- Why can't we be friends?
- And why don't you accept having in front of you a good example of british male who you are driving crazy five days ago and will explode like a rocket?
- You know I regarded you a very good-looking man.
- Nah, I'm not talking about my looks. I'm not so simple as you think.
- I don't think you are simple. You make me laugh... I need more than ever someone who makes me laugh, you know? If you could only be my friend...
Roger's steel blue eyes when they were upset were like a storm in the middle of the sea. Furious but glorious. He took two energic steps towards me and the wave buried me down completely.