With the first rays of light everything looked different. I woke up and must starting off the show. My existence worked like this. Trying to pull some strings to manage myself with them as best as I could and there were moments in which I felt poorly trained. In particular at this time of the day I didn't feel like being Elideth Polley, my alter ego. Roger's bed was like a real relaxed spa journey. My body was so calmed and rewarding that I wasn't in the mood to morning fights. But I wasn't in London, 1974 for my own recreation. There were a lot of things to do.
I chose not getting out of the bathroom with my dressing gown for fear to shake him again outrageously. I put on again my beautiful Biba dress and got out perfectly made up and my lank blond hair well-combed till half my back. My nostrils were pleased at the smell of a breakfast.
I peeped over timidly on the kitchen's threshold. I arrived on time to catch Roger with his back to me, facing the frying pan. Did he turn over some sausages? God, how did he know I love them? He couldn't know. Totally unaware of it, he hit the spot.
Although I couldn't express him how inspired he had been. I must play with him a little longer. This kitten didn't finish yet with her mouse.
- Are you cooking me a breakfast? -I asked him after a few minutes staring at his beautiful ass in jeans.
Roger turned around tucking his hair behind his ears and his smile I swear was brighter than the sun which came through the window. The bad reputation which preceded him, was right, this man was a real snake charmer. Into your role, Ash.
- Good morning. I want rewarding you for the peanuts last night.
- You won't get it with some sausages -I said half smiling with self-importance.
What do you mean? That can't smell any better.
- Taste them. They say I'm very good at it.
Rushed and nervous to please me, cleared out the table with too hurriedly. Half bottle of beer fell over some papers. By instinct I took them before they spoiled. I just read Sheer. Was it Sheer heart attack lyrics? Could it be?
- Give it to me. Sorry, I'm cleaning up now.
- Focus on the frying pan. I don't like charred sausages. I'm cleaning myself.
- I'm sorry.
- Was that a song?
- It could be.
These musicians. When it came to speak about their work they could be almost like autistic.
When he put in front of me that nice plate which smelled divine, he was almost forgiven. When I tasted a sausage was forgiven de facto.
- Did you enjoy my breakfast?
I didn't open my mouth all the while as I filled my stomach, just to getting food in it. It required a lot of cool-headed not saying anything to that cutie who threw me once in a while hurtful puppie dog glances.
- Yes. They left over one minute in the frying pan but yes, they tasted good. How did you know I like them?
- It seemed to me at the Rainbow's table. I think you'd eaten five sausages.
- Not as many -I let it out a laugh, goddamit.
Roger locked my smile with so much yearning that my compassion was at the limit. But I must not let him win me over with the flirtations that were so successfully made with the rest of the girls.
- So yesterday you told the boys I was your future wife.
- Freddie is a fucking gossip, you know? If we gossip to Mary, I don't know how it would be.
Roger there spoke with extreme sensibility, he was quite right. Freddie get carried away by a singular rage to talking to me about his friend's words.
- Well?
- Don't be afraid. I'm not planning a wedding.
- Aren't you?
- Not right away.
Roger had no idea what to say. He was very funny. He tried to choose the right words but he never seemed get it right with me.
- I don't think I could marry a guy able to stand me up like this.
- Forget about that. I'm saying those things all the time. It was just a figure of speech.
- I don't think I could ever sleep with a guy who can stand me up like this.
That sentence was better and got just where I wanted to get. Roger's desolate face assured me that.
- Oh, come on, babe. I've asked your pardon.
- I was thinking only in our date all day long and you...
- And I forgot completely because I'm such an asshole. I forgot -he reached out his hand over the table and took hold mine but I let it go.
- You are aware of that kind of forgetfulness, the girls don't forgive so easily.
- I've noticed.
Roger was seeing how his chance of made up sex post breakfast was slipping away. I'm sure it didn't happen to him quite often. Not since he was Queen sexy drummer, in any case. Let's see how I could balance this to make him not hate me.
- I think I must not staying at your place. We are better each in our place.
- No, Eli. I don't want we end up angry with each other.
- Well, I'm very angry. How can we work out this?
- I know several ways -he brushed apart my hair from my ear to whisper to me with his husky and irresistible voice-. Let's go to bed.
- Fuck, man. You are too much.
- What?
- I can't see how you can think that I...
- Shit, Eli. You are a groupie. I didn't think sex would be a taboo or a sin, good Lord.
- I'm not a fucking groupie. I'm just not.
Now I was screaming for real and I guess he didn't expect that either.
- Who are you, Eli? Tell me.
Don't think me mad but when I was born you were 46 years old.
- I'm just a girl. I'm not a piece of meat over a counter. I'm not and any of those girls who were around you at the Rainbow aren't either.
- We don't treat you as that.
- We have feelings, you know? We are as any other girl. Don't get so vain.
- Alright.
Once again. Roger was killing me slowly. He was like an orphan puppy and nobody adopted him.
- Did you understand what I've just said?
He looked up his beautiful steel blue eyes, I think he was pissed off at me. He nodded reluctantly.
- Fine. Could I use your phone?
- Sure. Are you going out? Are you leaving me?
- I need to speak on the phone. We're talking later.
- Go ahead. There you have it, all for you.
I stared at him two seconds, unmerciful like a mother who just give her son a hard time and Roger wasn't a submissive and dutiful child anymore but he was becoming a rebel teenager who needs an explanation for all. I didn't know which of the two I prefer. Both were irresistible.
- Good morning. I would like to talk to Mary Austin, please.
- Hold on a minute. Hold the line.
Roger showed half of his body from the kitchen while he dried up his hands with a cloth. He looked at me frowning hearing that name.
- Good morning, Mary. This is Elideth.
- Hello, Elideth. How are you? I have good news to you.
- Oh, really? So early?
- It took me long but I think I can assure you the operation dream-like dress go splendidly.
- Mary, I can't believe it. How do you get it?
- With a mix of hydrogen peroxide and water in equal shares. Nevertheless, I ask Freddie to take it to the dyer's and they'll fix it as good as new.
- You shouldn't have bothered. I'm causing you too many troubles.
- No troubles at all. I like him running errands. He can't cook or clean, he just plays piano. What do you think?
I think he's angelical and the most handsome man on planet earth, Mary. That's my humble opinion.
- How wonderful -I couldn't help saying in a whisper.
- Don't believe it -she laughed.
- I didn't call you to press on you. I just needed to pick up my things from your home. When do you think you'll be there?
- I'm getting out of work a little later. The inventory. But Freddie will be at home. He will receive you.
- Ok. Thanks again.
- Thank you.
Roger had heard all our conversation without complex.
- How do you know Mary?
- She served me yesterday at Biba. She's Freddie's girlfriend. It's a small world.
- Yes, indeed.
- May I ask you a favor?
- Sure.
- Could you call Freddie and ask him what Mary like? I want to give her a small gift. She's been fantastic with me.
- I'm dialing and you talk to him.
- I don't wanna talk to him, Rog. Why do you think I'm asking you?
- Alright -he said annoying, putting the cloth over his shoulder and dialing the numbers with determination-. Fred, here Rog. I'm fine. Tell me what does Mary like?
I looked disgusted and confused at the same time. What was the problem with guys about subtlety?
- She likes me in all my varieties.
- Elideth wants to give her a present.
- Put her on.
I said fifty times "No" shaking my hands as though I wanted to vanished.
- Eh... no, she's in the bath.
- Well... let me think. Oh, God. I don't know. Flowers? She likes all kinds of flowers.
- Flowers, Eli -the clumsily Roger said, covering the receiver.
- Is she there? Put her on.
- No, she...
- I've heard her.
- She doesn't want to talk to you. She says she'll stop by your home in... what? A couple of hours. Wait for her.
- Tell her I don't know if I will be there.
- She says for your better. Look, this is ridiculous.
I grabbed the telephone and hung up for him. He was right, it was ridiculous.
- What are you going Freddie's home for?
- All my purchase from Biba are there. When I pick them up I'm leaving and you won't have any link with me neither you nor him.
- According to Brian your link with Freddie was more direct than you've had with me.
- According to Brian. Listen, do you know you are the most gossips I've ever met?
- He saw you.
- No, he just drew his own conclusions.
- Ok, I don't care if you screwed Freddie. I'm not judging you. I'm only asking not going. I can do it better. We can try. I'll treat you kind.
- So kindly as yesterday evening?
- I think I've apologized at least two hundred times.
- Fewer.
- And I made your breakfast.
- Thanks.
- Don't do it, don't go out of here.
- Roger, you can have whoever you like. Take what you like and that's it.
- You are all I fancy.
- Because you can't fuck me. When you have sex with me, the next one.
- I don't think so. I'd rather become your slave.
- I want keeping outside all your environment.
Could it be more cynical as me? My mission goal was just the opposite. I was playing my cards dangerously. Of course I counted with Roger's unsatisfied desire, a very important weapon. From there, it wasn't advisable neither underdid it or overdid it.
- You don't like me so much as Freddie, do you?
You are quite right, dear heart.
- I don't like any of you four and more, I think I don't like any of the members of masculine genre on this planet anymore. I'm brushing my teeth and when I'm getting out of the bath, I'm leaving.
- This is ridiculous. Let me drive you to Holland Park.
- I still gotta buy Mary present.
- Well let's do it together. Let me come with you.
I finished to clean my toothbrush and after put it carefully into its case and my toilet bag, and then keep it in my bag, it seemed there was nothing left to say. If a girl take her toothbrush, that's it.
- Alright, it might be a little hasty living together. But if you going out like this, it doesn't mean we can be something special one for the other.
- Friends?
- Fuck, not friends. I want more.
- I know what you want, Roger. It's not possible -I caressed his cheek pouting my lips, upset.
I was quite evil, I admit it. I was picking a fight at top speed.
I picked up carefully all my posessions and turned my attention to him sadly. God knows I liked Roger and he wasn't clumsier as anybody else but in wars there are always losers and winners. He must lose at the moment.
- Is it all over? Won't you even give me your number?
- I have yours, don't you worry.
- You won't never call me.
- I need time, Roger. Respect me. Please...
- Alright.
It was his fourth "alright". It was enough. I took him gently by his open collar and opened my mouth over his. But I just nipped slightly his lower lip with my teeth and quickly I slipped from his fiercely embrace away, getting out like a shot. Before he grabbed me and that got really messy.
💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣
I got into the first florist shop that I found with my heart beating for what I've done. I've been extremely bad with Roger and I wasn't sure where I was leading with my games. My head wasn't able to think on a beautiful gift to Mary so I decided paying attention to Freddie. After all he knew her so well. If he said she liked flowers, I would give her flowers.
I chose lilies and pink astromelias. It was a little and cute bouquet and very feminine. I took the subway to 100 Holland Road. The last thing I wanted to do right now was facing another intense guy. Roger was enough for today. But an irrepressible power mixing of restlessness, longing and extreme nostalgy ran through my chest as my steps resounded along the extensive sidewalk on his street. It was almost noon and the sky was completely blue. The temperature was more pleasant than yesterday. I counted one by one each doorway and arrived the number 100. I stood there a moment at the little half open gate which led to the five steps to the front door. I looked at the majestic building. It had three storeys and a loft. The door was lined by two regal but simple corinthian columns. At the window in the first floor, on the balcony, there were pink petunias. Woww, apparently I chose the right colour.
Giving a sigh, I climbed up with spirit the five steps and rang the bell. I rang it once again and after two minutes I tried again. Freddie wasn't at home.
I had no choice but wait for him sitting there on the staircase like a poor vagabond. To kill time I decided speed things up and write the report to Fooling. My reports served me to sharpen my potential editor's tools. At least it was useful not to lose my writing tempo. So I pulled up my very long dress till above my knees to bask in this warm spring sun.
- Hello, mousy.
Suddenly Freddie in front of me, had covered the sun, the clouds and surely my little understanding shortly.