We walk downstairs together and he makes sure to keep me steady on the stairs as I nearly fall twice. I laugh and he chuckles grabbing my hand each time.
"Can't take you anywhere baby" he says.
"Shhh" I say to him and he laughs.
I am in trouble is all I can think. Part of me wishes I could wake up and not remember this tomorrow.
I will tell Matty. It's the right thing to do.
Not sure how that's going to go just yet.
I glance behind me and Jay has vanished. Typical but not a bad thing entirely.
For now I head to the kitchen, I am making myself the strongest drink.
Matty is already in there mixing up cocktails. Shirt off mixing spirits. There are girls all watching him but he doesn't notice them. I come in and he embraces me.
"I made you this one" he passes me a drink.
"Thanks babe" I say to him.
"Where is mine?" Blondie from earlier says to him.
"Well the alcohols there you just have to pour it" he laughs.
He steers me out of the room.
"You wanna go after this one" he says in my ear.
"Yeah sure" I tell him.
"You all good?" He asks slightly alarmed by my coldness.
"Yeah sorry I'm just really drunk" I tell him.
"I don't know her babe" he tells me. He logically thinks I'm pissed off by her.
"It's okay" I say. He searches my eyes and looks confused. He keeps a hold of me.
We go to the others to dance, and he wraps his arms around me. I am so annoyed with myself for letting Jay catch me like that. I refuse to look at him. He's here somewhere. I don't care, it's not going to happen ever again.
I search for Rach and unfortunately Jay's with her. He's kissing her neck and dancing with her. Lord this is so messy. I'm just as much to blame as him of course. I let him kiss me and touch me, I let him corner me and I reciprocated his advance so I only have myself to blame.
I look away from them. I turn around to face Matty. He smiles at me.
"Sure you're alright" he asks.
I smile at him and rest my head on his chest.
"I'll order a cab" he chuckles.
We don't even say goodbye to everybody. It's 3am and the party is still very much alive.
I just stay in his arms where I should have stayed all night. I kiss his chest occasionally and finish my drink swaying with him.
When his phone beeps saying the cab is here he chucks his shirt on and puts his leather jacket over me. He guides me out past everybody.
Once home he makes me drink a lot of water. He carries me upstairs and then I wipe my makeup off and change into his shirt. He climbs into bed with me and I feel the best I have all night long. I lay close to him.
He feels so familiar and his warmth and proximity consumes me. I kiss his chest as my hand travels down into his boxers. He inhales sharply and I rub him over and over again.
He lays on his back and I climb on top of him. Within seconds he is inside of me. I bounce up and down on him wanting to make him come in me. His hand reaches up to my breast and he squeezes my nipple.
"Mmmm" I say.
"You like that?" He asks.
"I was thinking you didn't tell me your sexual fantasy earlier?" He asks.
I open my eyes and look down at him.
"I don't have one" I tell him.
I start rolling my hips into him and I raise my knee slightly to adjust the angle. I feel him deep inside of me. I'm so close now.
"You do babe" he says.
"I just like the guy to be in control" I tell him.
He sits up and I slow down. He holds me really deep inside of him and stares into my eyes. Just feeling him there without any movement drives me crazy.
He flips me over so I'm on my back and then he is inside of me again, he moves my knees up and he thrusts into me hard. He holds my hands above my head.
I call out his name over and over as I finish.
"I love you Tay" he says when he's done.
I collapse beside him, I already turned my phone off. I texted Ross before to check he was okay and he replied a thumbs up and that he missed me. No distractions and no texts from anybody.
The room has stopped spinning thankfully but now I'm laying on my back, I feel like I'm floating away. I feel kind of numb.
"Babe you okay?" Matty says tension in his voice.
"Yes" I tell him feeling weird and numb.
"Right? I've been trying to get a response from you for like 10 minutes" he says concerned.
"You're not just drunk babe. Do you remember what you had earlier" he asks.
I can't hear him properly. It's like I am under water and I'm sinking. I'm at the bottom and he's at the top desperately talking to me. And I'm trying to catch the thread of the conversation but I can't.
I close my eyes briefly.
***Matty's POV***
What the fuck has happened? I feel fine? Right so why is she completely fucked? I'm literally losing my shit thinking about all of the worst possibilities, she was spiked? But by who and when?
Her pupils are dilated. She's tripping.
My phone rings and I answer it. It's a +44 number. Odd.
"Matty, it's Rhea." She says desperately.
"Hey I need your help" I begin.
"Yeah I know. It was the joint. Jay is fucked too and so is Rach. It's like they're not really here, I dunno. What do I do? Taylor had one pull how is... what is she like?" Rhea asks frantically.
"Oh fuck, it must be laced with something" I say and it dawns on me it could be anything.
"Jay picked up from a new dealer and he must have laced the weed with some other hard drug"
I say panicking.
"Let me call my mum" I say feeling like a child.
"I'll keep you on the line and ring her on Taylor's phone." I say.
"Thanks Matty" she says genuinely relieved.
I dial mum she will answer I just know it.
It takes a few rings but she answers.
"Matthew?" She says
"Thank God mum, I took Taylor too a party and she had a hit on a blunt and now she's fucked mum, what do I do?" It all just stumbles out of my mouth and I'm panicking.
"Okay, Matthew calm down" she says and I start to cry.
"It's okay, what do you mean by fucked" she asks me.
"Pupils are really dilated and it took me 10 minutes to get a response from her, she's tripping." I say
"It's been laced with PCP. I think. It's a hallucinogen" she advises.
"Can you monitor the situation? Or are you too worried? What I mean is you will have to explain everything to the hospital if you go there? Or you can watch her at home" she says to me.
"Will she be okay" I ask.
"She had one hit right ? That's nothing. Even a whole one would probably be okay but if you're worried by anything you must get it checked" Mum says.
"Jay had half and Rach too? They are sort of the same symptom wise at Ryan's" I explain.
"Matthew do you want me to come over" she suggests.
"No it's okay, thanks Mum. I love you" I tell her and I can feel her smile across the line. She tells me that she loves me and orders me to get in touch in the morning.
"Rhea" I say to her slightly embarrassed by her hearing me cry down the phone to my mum.
"I want you to ask Ryan to call his mum, explain that it's cannabis laced with PCP and get her advice. That's if Rach and Jay are both breathing normal and not hot or whatever." I say executing my plan.
"His mum is a nurse" I explain.
Taylor is breathing just fine and she is not hot. I hold onto her wrist, I can feel her pulse.
"I love you, you are my life" I whisper to her as she lays down next to me. Rhea is busy ordering Ryan about. Who is unfortunately drunk but trying his best.
"Okay he's talking to her now, thanks Matty. You're definitely the calmest of us all" Rhea says.
"No problem I'm losing my shit here too don't worry. It's nobody's fault though he wouldn't have known" I say defending Jay.
There's a pause.
"She's said same as your mum and that should anything abnormal happen to dial an ambulance. And then she went off about not doing cannabis" Rhea says.
"Okay understood" I say.
"Thank you honestly I didn't know how to cope with any of that" Rhea says.
"No problem and please call me back if you need me" I say to her.
She hangs up thanking me again.
I lay down next to Tay turning the lights off. My phone is on loud. I don't move her at all I just hold onto her continually checking her pulse and breathing. And that she's not too hot or choking.
I won't be sleeping. I will be waiting for her to wake up.
I speak to her. Telling her that I love her and that I'm going to make her a big breakfast in the morning. I rub her waist. And I kiss her on her cheek. I talk to her about our life, and the way she makes me feel happy all the time.
I hold her close to me. And I watch over her all night long.