"Okay I'm sure you know what you're doing hun" I say to Rach as she disentangles herself from Jay. She's all over him, he's not complaining I notice. Even if she is very drunk and almost falling off of his lap. I'm not quite there yet so I decide to drink up.
I turn to focus on Matty. His dark brunette hair, green eyes and tan skin. I look down at his chest, he's so smooth. He's watching me smiling as I take him in. I've looked at him many times, but I always am astounded by his true beauty. I'm gonna have to tell him later about the kiss. But not now. I would want to know if that happened between him and somebody else, so it is only fair that I tell him.
"I love you" I tell him smiling.
"I love you too babe" he says kissing me on my lips. The room vanishes for me when he kisses me. I want to be with him so much. I almost take my top off feeling his cool chest under my hands, but he pulls my hands away from it pulling my top back on.
"Later" he whispers to me smiling.
"Guys snap out of it, dancing now" Rach says laughing.
I pull myself away from Matty. And he sighs his hands going around my waist embracing me.
"Fuck Rach" he laughs.
"Oh shhh don't you think you've had enough!" She laughs.
"Did you guys actually fuck in your kitchen by the way!?" She asks us. This is Rachel when she is drunk, zero thought given on how she will be received.
"Rach!" I protest seeing Jay's smirk.
"Not my fault, Taylor went down on me" Matty says.
"Matty" I say but he's drunk. And he's gloating. I take another shot and hand him another.
He downs it and then says, "then we did it bent over the counter". He smiles at Jay and something tells me he is enjoying this a little too much. I cover his mouth with my hand.
I look down at beautiful, angelic Matty and sigh we are going to be talking tomorrow about all of this. He winks at me and kisses my hand which is still over his mouth.
I flush bright red, Jay is smirking and trying not to look at me.
"I knew you were a wild one" Rach laughs. She clearly approves smiling at me.
"Have you guys not done it in any interesting places?" I say turning the tables. Smiling at Rach.
"Not yet" Jay says looking at me intently.
"You know it's not that bad is it, like I always thought going down on a guy would be fucking awful" Rach laughs.
Oh please, give me strength.
"It's the hottest thing I have ever done." I say to her forgetting the boys completely and utterly.
"Did you spit or swallow" Jay asks me.
"You had to go there" Rach laughs at him clearly amused.
"This one only thinks about his cock" she laughs.
"I'm not telling you that, Jay" I say looking at him and deliberately biting my lip.
"Oh I already know the answer" he says smiling.
I sip my drink smiling and watching his reaction. He's actually fairly easy to wrap around your finger. It doesn't take long to charm him.
"What's one of your biggest sexual fantasies, Jay" Rach asks him. Turning her focus onto him.
"Me? Why?" He laughs.
"That's a good question get thinking Matty" I tell him. His hands are all over my hips and thighs and I feel so sexy.
"And you're going to have to stop touching me like that if you want me to keep my clothes on" I say to him.
"Jay, what is it I wanna know, there has to be something" she whines.
"Okay, well I think every guy likes girl on girl" he says.
Matty clears his throat.
"Oh you too huh?" I laugh teasing him.
"Guilty sorry babe" he says cheekily.
Rachel laughs winking at me.
"Ah this is soo much fun" she claps her hands.
"Okay favourite body part" she adds.
"Legs" Jay says watching me.
"Interesting I didn't expect that" Rach says.
"Matty?" I insist.
He looks at me cheekily.
"All of it" he says.
"No, give us the details Matty" Rach says.
"Okay okay, I like her hips and waist" he says and I look at him smiling.
"None of you like tits!?" She exclaims.
"I love her nipples does that count" Matty laughs.
"Shhh baby" I tell him. Covering his mouth again. He is an adorable drunk.
"I like tits" Brad says entering our little conversation.
Rachel smiles at him.
"Hey how are you Brad" she says charm going onto him straight away.
I smile but I keep my arms firmly around Matty.
"Would you have sex with me here, in this house" I whisper in his ear.
"Taylor!" He says.
"It's just a question babe" I say winking.
Rach turns her focus back onto us, she chugs her drink. Pulls her straps up slightly and sighs.
"Okay I've got an idea, me and Taylor will fulfil that sexual fantasy of yours. We will make out convincingly and you can watch us." She says turning to me willing me to play.
"Okay I'm in" I say winking at her.
I briefly consider if I'm on some sort of love drug, I'm so down for anything lately. It's embarrassing. I want Matty to see this though. So bad.
"And we will do this all for the small price that you guys will dance with us all night and not cause us any problems" she laughs.
"Fucking deal" Jay says. He lights up a spliff and I look away from him.
I like this party, I'm having so much fun. I feel so empowered and sexy.
"Okay, Matty?" I whisper in his ear.
"Fuck yes" he says laughing. I love drunk Matty. He's so carefree. All of the tension dissipates from him.
"You wanna go on top or" I joke with Rach. She winks at me laughing.
The guys practically faint. This is hilarious.
She sits down in between Matty and Jay on the sofa. I'm genuinely not sure how far I'm going to take this with her, she's pretty loose. I've kissed her before as a dare but that's it.
I straddle her, and she laughs.
We start off really slow, we kiss each other a little. She pushes my hair down my back. Her hands go over my boobs and I arch my back slightly and move my hips on-top of her.
We open our mouths a little and deepen the kiss. I realise she has her tongue pierced and I wonder how much that hurt. We break the kiss off a little and as she's touching me I kiss her neck. She chuckles and moves my strap down slightly so that my cleavage is bursting out of my top.
I shoot a quick glance at Matty and he looks so turned on it's unreal. My body ignites at his stare. I won't look at Jay, I can't.
She lightly kisses my cleavage and I close my eyes. I explore her body with my hands, sticking to her top half. When I open them I see Jay watching me, whilst smoking his spliff. I look away biting my lip.
I kiss her again slowly and desperately. I think we've done our job now. We pull away from each other and smile.
I slowly get off of her. Stand and pull my top up slightly. Jay hands me the spliff first.
"I think it's now your turn to keep up your part of the deal" I say to Matty. I reach for Rach and she takes my hand and starts dancing with me.
I hand her the spliff and she takes a pull. Matty stands up smiling at me.
"How can I say no to you" he says smiling.
He possessively grabs my hips from behind and let's me grind on him. Rach is still in front of me. Brad joins us and dances behind Rach and she seems pleased.
"That was fun" Rach says to me laughing
"Did you see their faces" I laugh back.
"Sure did" she winks.
"Although I'm realising Jay is more into you than me" she laughs
"Don't be silly" I tell her.
"It's all good Tay, that's Jay for you. Difficult" she laughs.
Just then a great song comes on. She grabs Brad. And she's now dancing with him. I feel Matty behind me.
I smile as he kisses my neck.
"That was hot" he whispers.
"Very fucking hot, but not as hot as you going down on me just for your information" he chuckles.
"Looked like you enjoyed that babe" I tell him.
He rubs my waist.
"I love you so fucking much" he tells me.
"I love you so fucking much too" I laugh.
"I'm gonna freshen up and go to the loo, don't move" I tell him.
I sit him down on the sofa. And I walk off to the bathroom. I remember where it is. I climb the stairs very carefully. There's people everywhere. I reach the bathroom lock it and breathe out, Lord I'm drunk. I clean up spray myself with my perfume and then I retouch all of my makeup. Kissing like that has fucked my lipstick. I eat a mint and try to regain some sobriety. I unlock the door just as there's a tap on it. I open it. It's Jay of course.
"I thought you were staying away from me" I tease him.
"Also proves to be too fucking hard" he says. He comes in and closes the door. He locks it. I look at him in protest.
"Jay, I told you we cant" I tell him.
"Shh, I won't touch you. So I just spent the better part of two hours watching you, watching you bite your lip whenever you look at me. Watching you live out my biggest sexual fantasy sitting next to me. I have just one question for you?" He says equally as drunk as me.
"Okay go ahead" I say leaning against the wall for some stability.
"Okay actually I have two, my bad" he laughs.
I laugh and it breaks the tension between us.
"Are you in love with him?" He asks me seriously.
"Jay, I love him" I tell him honestly without a shadow of a doubt.
He pushes his hand through his hair.
"Okay I know I'm not good enough for that, I know I'm not boyfriend material or anything like that shit. But can you please tell me why you are saying my name in your sleep?" He says looking at me seriously.
I flush bright red and can't help but to bite my lip.
"See there it is. You biting your lip. What do you want from me babe" he says. He reaches to my lip and brushes it with his thumb.
"When did I say your name ?" I fluster. He's really caught me off guard this time.
"In the hospital earlier, I thought you were awake and asking me a question. So I went over to you and you were asleep saying my name. And since then it's been on my mind" he says to me.
"So what was it" he asks demanding from me.
I sigh. This is embarrassing.
"Okay I might have had one dream about you" I admit.
He smiles widely.
"And that does not mean we are going to act out that particular dream ever. I am taken" I say hastily. I lean back to steady myself.
"I know that baby. What did I do to you?" He eyes me up. Why do I always end up in tight spaces with him.
"Humour me. I'm going home alone tonight babe" he adds smiling.
"No" I smile at him.
"I won't tell anybody" he laughs. And there's his best charming smile making an appearance.
"It's not exactly entirely what you think" I begin
"We we're hanging out. Studying. But that didn't make any sense because Ross wasn't there. And then you took your top off" I say looking at his chest. Then pulling my eyes away quickly.
"And then you ugh undressed me on your sofa and moved all of the books. And you were actually nice to me, and you weren't a dickhead about it. And yeah I said your name a lot in the dream" I say to him.
"I can do that for you" he says honestly.
"I dream about you every fucking night Taylor" he says and then I can see he regrets it. Instantly, it's like I can see him swearing at himself.
"What kind of dreams?" I ask interested.
"Ohh you do not need me to tell you that" he laughs suggestively.
I look down at the floor it's beginning to spin. Those last shots have really done me in. I feel kind of spaced out. He rests his arm around me and I lean into him.
"Can I kiss you?" He asks simply.
"Please I know you love him, I know you won't feel that way about me. I know I won't forget about you ever. But maybe if I can just entertain the idea of having you I will be all good and move on" he explains.
"It goes without saying I won't tell a soul" he says searching my eyes.
I just stay really still mainly to stop the spinning and he kisses me. I close my eyes and touch his chest. My arms go around his neck and into his hair. He breathes out shakily stopping slightly.
"I think I want you, I think I want more of you Taylor" he says and my body betrays me again. He's so fucking hot.
He kisses me again, his hands gently go under my straps and he brushes down my boobs. I sigh and he bites my lip.
"This is bad" I tell him.
"Nobody has to know" he says back.
His hands go to my thighs rubbing them whilst he's kissing me. His lips travel down my chest and I sigh saying his name. He stops in his tracks and looks up at me shocked. His eyes are captivating, his pupils dilated.
"You want it baby?" He says.
"I can take you here" he whispers.
He brushes his hands around my hips. He smiles and watches my eyes.
"I can't even imagine how good it feels to be inside of you, Taylor" he says in my ear.
"I will feel it one day" he chuckles.
I breathe out shakily. And he lets go of me.
I feel like I'm half in the room and the other half of me is in some shaking universe where everything is spinning and nothing makes sense.