"Stephanie dear, I made a green tea matcha, your favorite." She smile
She hears Julian's voice, she can still feels his pressence, wearing an apron, and doing house chores before he leaves for his work and kisses her forehead.
Her smiles fade as well as the pressence of Julian fade. She started to felt alone again, she just stares at a bare white wall in her living room, there's nothing special or interesting to look at it, she don't know if it is just her hormones but it just feels empty, she knows she's going crazy, hedious and whatever word that can describe her feelings.
As a tear fell from her eyes, she can no longer stop the eye's salty water from shedding. Not knowing what's her feeling right now, she starts to sob unstopabble as if she will run out of breath.
"Julian, love." She said between her sobbing. "Why did you leave me so soon." and she cried so loud and hard.
"Dear, its okay, everything will be fine in time okay? Just cry it outloud." its the voice of her mother. Its her mother who made her favorite green tea matcha. Its her mother who kissed her forehead. Its his ghost that makes her felt alone even if her mother is just in her kitchen.
As if the sadness caused by the loss of her husband never ends. Its a never ending cycle of her life now, and she don't know when will she be able to get up.
Seems the world does not feel sorry for what is happening to her right now. It doesn't care and it doesn't agree.
"Dear let it out." She heard her mother sobbing with her. She felt that she's tearing with her as well.
"Ma, why is the world so cruel to me? Why is it like this? I never do something really bad to deserve this Ma!" She shouted in a craking voice because of crying.
Her mother couldn't answer because she's crying hard now too. She just held on her daughter and caress her cheeks securing the thought that everything will be just fine.
But the truth is, it will never be fine anymore. She will move on but she will never be fine ever again.