Its that time of the day again, 5 am, She can never forget this time in her life. Early in the morning, she felt so lonesome again. Empty minded, staring at the cieling of their room. This is where they always kiss good morning and sometimes make love.
They were so young, she knows that our lives is just borrowed, but she didn't that her husband would return his life so soon.
Her place in the bed didn't changed. Still staring at the cieling and hugging the pillow as if it is her husband. After a while. she felt sad again, she felt her eyes are heavy because of her tears that are about to fall.
She burried her face in the pillow and closed her eyes again. She can't even finish a task in a day.
Luckily, her boss is considerate. Her talent and workd are so not deniable, she already has a high position in the company and help from failing, big time. That's why her boss consider her to just do work from home and come back to the office if she's ready.
She finally fell asleep because she's already tired mentally and the pain of her swollen eyes from crying.
"You know, I love you love, just enjoy yourself again, that's all I want for you." Julian said, he gently tuck her lose hair at the back of her ear and softly kissed her lips.
She shed a tear. "Babe, I was looking for nothing but you. All those years, you've been by my side, I'm not used to being without you." She answered, all those tears kept falling,
She don't wanna let him go. It's very difficult for her to forget him and even be happy for an hour or even a minute. She even wished for that so it willn't hurt anymore. She wished she'd go numb.
The thought of him in her mind is just cycling, it never stops. For more than 2 years of being in a relationship with Julian, it became hard for her to forget about him.
"Steph, my love." Julian held her cheeks. "If its not for us, then we gotta learn to let it go, if it is ours, it will come back." He whispered.
"Sorry Julian, I'm sorry love, I just can't forget about you." She silently cried. She bowed down and hid her face from Julian.
Steph opened her eyes and stared the cieling. "I know, you can never be back. I'm sorry for still holding onto our memories."
A silence came into her room.
"I'm sorry for still not letting you go." She shed a tear.
Again, she feels alone. she feels empty without him.
Her world started revolving the first time she felt love from him.
A love that everybody will be wishing for.
A love so genuine and real.
A love so gentle.
Love that is superficial.
She even can't describe how she feels with his love.
It's hurting her again.
Why all the happy and good memories became sad when the one who you made that is already gone? Gone and never coming back.
The sadness came unexpected. "I love you Julian." She continued to cry and sob.