Early the following morning Charli awoke with a headache and exhaustion from the endless hours of restless dreams that tormented her. She dreamed that Chris was calling her, needing her. She couldn't delay seeing him any longer. She had to formulate a plan. She decided to skip school and with a sense of urgency, she hasted to the kitchen to fill her backpack with fruit and a bottle of water. As soon as the bus arrived at school, she would duck behind the hedges near the school gate and once the school bell rang and everyone was in class, she would go to the river.
Everything went according to plan. She told Milli to go on ahead without her as she needed to go to the restrooms, and then hurried through the school gates and hid behind the hedges unnoticed. When the rush hour was over, she hasted down the main road towards the river.
When she reached the riverbank, she scanned the area for Chris. But she couldn't see him. She waited patiently. She could be suspended or expelled for bunking school, not that that mattered to her anymore. Her days of being a good, upstanding student were gone for good.
After finding a comfortable flat-surfaced rock to sit on, she took out an apple and munched on it as she waited. Her nerves rattled through her veins like the wind rattling through the trees and she was almost convinced, that if anyone were around, they would have heard it.
For hours, she sat and waited but there was no sign of Chris. Had he gone? Could he see her waiting for him but refused to come out and talk with her? If it was the latter, she couldn't blame him. Her treatment of him had been unwarranted. She would wait until he came. After what felt like another few hours, her stomach growled. Why didn't I make a sandwich? Impatiently, she pushed aside her discomfort and continued to wait patiently.
Chris watched her and it felt like his heart was being ripped out. He desperately wanted to talk to her but desisted. He had promised himself he would not hurt her, so that meant he had to stay away from her.
As the time passed, slowly and torturously, he marvelled at her patience. Why was she there anyway? Had something happened? Did she want to be alone to escape the confines of her life, or was she there to see him? A flicker of hope danced around his heart at the thought that she might be there waiting for him, but he impatiently shoved it aside.
As the sun began to set, Charli stood up and with deep regret, she grabbed her backpack and headed home.
More dreams plagued her that night – dreams that she was running through the forest, frightened, and something was chasing her. And Chris was there too, beckoning for her to follow him. Then, in her dream, she tripped over something and as she fell to the ground someone fell on top of her, hurting her. She woke up crying.
It was still dark, only two in the morning. After counting one hundred and one sheep and still being unable to go back to sleep, she sighed and turned to face the window. A gasp escaped her lips as her eyes caught a shadow by the window. Her voice lodged in her throat when she tried to shout out for help but all that came out was a hoarse whisper.
"Don't scream, Charli. It's just me, Chris."
Her breathing was jagged, but she managed to suck in a huge breath of air to calm her nerves. She fumbled for her bedside lamp's switch.
"Don't switch it on. You'll wake up your aunt and uncle," Chris warned.
Charli thought about it for a second and agreed with him. She climbed out of bed and walked towards the window where he stood. As she pulled open the curtains a flood of silvery moonlight beams poured into the confined space that was her minuscule room.
Chris stood so close to her that her heart momentarily stopped beating. She gazed up at him. He was at least a head taller than her. For an instant, their eyes locked. His gaze was so intense that her entire body trembled. Painfully, she tore her eyes away from his and she stared up at the moon instead. Thoughts of never being able to kiss Chris clouded her mind. The fact that she would never get to feel his arms around her, tore her heart into shreds. Tears lodged in her throat making it hard to swallow.
"Why are you here, Chris?" she asked. The previous day, she had desperately wanted to apologize to him, but he had not shown up, or he had remained hidden from her, but now she was no longer in the apologizing mood. Her emotions took on a sombre mood as a sense of hopelessness clothed her.
"I couldn't stay away." His voice was a raspy whisper. When she continued to stare at the moon with a blank expression on her face, he added, "I made a promise to myself that I would leave you alone, that I wouldn't bother you, but-" he paused, "I don't have the willpower to stay away from you, Charli."
Charli's heart stopped. Slowly she turned to face him. Tears filled her eyes and for what seemed like forever, they gazed intently into each other's eyes.
"I wish you were real," she whispered.
"I am real," Chris objected.
"You know what I mean."
"If I were still alive, Charli..." He paused.
"Don't. Please don't." Charli didn't want to hear that he had feelings for her. "This is hard enough as it is, Chris. Don't say anything."
"What can I do?" Chris asked, anxiously. He couldn't be without her. The thought that he had at last found the perfect girl for him but could never be with her, nor be there for her when she needed him, was so painful it threatened to rip his soul apart.
Charli sighed and went to sit down on her bed. She regarded him for a while.
"It must be hard for you," she said. "I'm really sorry."
He joined her on the bed. "You don't have to be sorry."
"Yes, I do. I've been so absorbed in my own suffering and problems that I never stopped to consider what you must be going through," she admitted.
"I don't want you to worry about me. I just need you to know that I'm here for you, even if I'm just someone you can talk to," Chris whispered.
They sat on her bed and chatted for a while, discussing random topics.
"So, is Charli really your name?" Chris asked and smiled the most beautiful smile that coaxed her into smiling too, or more aptly, coaxed her into blushing.
"That's kind of a long story. My parents couldn't make up their minds on what to name me. My mother apparently liked the name Charlene, but my father didn't. So, they decided to wait until I was born, hoping they would be inspired when they saw me, to give me the perfect name. But my mother died giving birth to me, so my father just called me Charli. It's almost like Charlene, I guess, but different."
Chris nodded in understanding. A comfortable silence ensued.
Finally, Chris rose.
"Don't go," Charli pleaded.
"You need to sleep; you have school in a couple of hours," Chris reminded her.
"Please stay." Her plea was heart-wrenching. He hesitated for a few seconds before sitting back down.
She laid down on her bed, but her eyes never left his. He regarded her for several minutes before he manoeuvred his weightless body to nestle beside her. Their eyes remained interlocked, and the intensity of their gaze churned Charli's stomach creating the feeling of a trillion fluttering butterflies inside of her, and her heart seemed to drum to the beat of the million butterfly wings.
"I wish we had met while I was still alive," Chris whispered sadly, still gazing into her eyes.
"Me too."
Chris placed a weightless hand over hers. She manoeuvred her hand to fit into his hand, desperately wishing she could feel his touch. They lay like that for a while before Charli drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Chris put his arm over her and closed his eyes as he tried to imagine the feel of her body beneath his skin, the warmth radiating from her, and the smell of her perfume. For hours he lay there, watching her while she slept.