When Charli awoke, it was to the sound of Aunt Lydia yelling at her to get out of bed. Frantically, she looked around for Chris, but he was gone.
Gloomily, she showered, dressed for school, and made her way out of the house as fast as her mood would allow, to prevent Aunt Lydia from hurling insults at her.
After flopping down beside Milli on the bus, Charli gazed blankly out the window. Her heart was still rebounding from the previous night's spell and her thoughts and emotions were a mess.
As the bus pulled away, she saw Chris. She gasped. He was standing by her gate smiling at her and waving her goodbye.
She placed the palm of her hand flat against the window as if to touch him as she smiled dreamily back at him. Then he was gone, and her smile faded.
"What's wrong?" Milli looked at her with concern.
Charli quickly glanced over her shoulder at Milli and forced a reassuring smile.
"Nothing." She turned back to face the window and languidly watched as the bus fluttered by the dense trees of the forest.
Later that day she caught a glimpse of Chris at school again. He was under her favourite tree, waving and smiling at her. She smiled back but dared not wave.
"Who are you smiling at?" Milli asked as she squinted her eyes to see who it was.
"No one," Charli quickly replied, and hurriedly made her way towards the classroom to avoid untoward Milli interrogations.
Charli saw him again a little later, this time she passed him in the passage.
"Are you haunting me?" she asked in a whisper, a touch of a grin edging her lips.
"Who are you talking to?" Milli beamed when she caught up to her friend.
"What, no one?" she faltered.
"What's going on with you today?" Milli demanded. "You've been far away all day." Then added, "don't leave me out of the loop. If there's something happening in your life, you've got to tell me."
Charli glanced at Milli, "trust me, you don't want to know."
Milli's eyes opened wide. "No!" she threw her friend an accusatory look and then shook her head with concern.
"Please don't tell me you can see Chris and that you're talking to him."
Charli just glared at her friend; a pleading look in her eyes but Milli wittingly tried to ignore it.
"He's here. He's standing right behind you," Charli confessed.
"So, you're smiling and talking to a dead guy." Milli wanted to scream with frustration. How could she compete with a make-believe boyfriend? And if given the choice, as absurd as the situation was, would she choose him over her? She somehow knew the answer to that, and it brought her little comfort.
"I know you've been through a lot, but you need to pull yourself together," Milli warned. "You can't just go around talking to – imaginary people," Milli blurted. "It's just - wrong."
"He's not imaginary. And why can't I talk to him? Would you have me ignore him?" Charli's anger threatened to implode.
Suddenly she heard laughter and noticed how some of the students, led by her least favourite person in the world, beloved cousin Nadia, was mocking, laughing, and pointing fingers at her.
"She still has imaginary friends," Nadia laughed wickedly, and the others imitated her laughter.
Charli ignored them, but Milli wouldn't let it go.
"It's not funny," Milli beamed.
"No, you're right. It's not. What she's doing is pure evil." Nadia's torments turned to anger.
"How can you be so heartless? Chris Kempton was a great guy. He doesn't deserve to have his name dragged all over the school like this. Let him rest in peace, for heaven's sake. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"I've always said she's crazy," Esmeralda spat.
"She belongs in a madhouse," a beady-eyed boy from their group, blurted.
Tears started welling up behind her eyelids. Charli looked anxiously at Chris whose face was now a picture of pure wrath and his fists were clenched so tightly together that Charli noticed them shaking.
"Ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about. Walk away, Charli," Chris insisted between clenched teeth.
Charli tore her gaze away from Chris's and looked pleadingly at Milli, but she suddenly turned and walked away.
"Milli?" Charli was shocked at her friend.
Charli ran down the corridor while insults were cruelly hurled at her. Although her tears stung her eyes as she ran, she didn't stop, nor did she dare look back. She just kept running, over the sports field and out of the school gates. And she kept on running, even though her lungs burned, and her breathing was jagged.
Only once she neared the bridge did she stop and bend over to catch her breath. As soon as she noticed a truck driving in her direction, she sprinted towards the bridge wall and jumped over, but a little too quickly. She almost tripped. More cautiously she proceeded down the rocky embankment.
As soon as she reached the river, she made a beeline for the trees. Once she was sure that no one could see her, she collapsed onto the ground under the protection of the trees and sobbed uncontrollably. Chris was beside her.
"Leave me alone. Just go away," she blurted in a mouthful of sobs.
"No, I'm not leaving you, not like this," he protested.
She had no energy to argue with him, so she lay in the dirt, cradling her body tightly in her arms as she cried. Feelings of hopelessness and sorrow drenched her spirits and churned her insides.
Chris remained silent, worried, with no idea how he could console her. Nothing he could do or say would be able to change anything. The sordid fact remained, he was dead and was therefore not able to assist her - ever. The thought angered him and embittered him – he had only aided in making her life worse. That was what he had feared from the start. He directed all his anger at himself, cursing silently.
When Charli had no more tears left to shed, she sat upright. A drained feeling of exhaustion swept over her.
"I'm sorry," Chris whispered.
She looked up at him, a deep sadness in her eyes.
"Chris –"
"Yes?"
"You need to go."
"I told you; I'm not leaving you like this."
"No, that's not what I mean."
He frowned and gazed at her, confused.
"You need to go to your family, your loved ones, or into the light or wherever it is that dead people are supposed to go to when they die."
"I told you, my parents moved away, and I don't know where they are. As for the light-" he paused as pain stabbed at the place where his heart used to be – it was strange he still felt pain. Then in a soft voice filled with sorrow, he added, "there was no light for me, Charli."
She could see the hurt and sadness in his eyes. "I don't understand. Everyone says you were such a good person, and I can see that you are, so why haven't you seen the light? You belong in heaven, not here…" She was convinced.
"I don't know why there was no light for me." This time his voice was harsher. He wasn't angry with Charli, it's just that he'd asked himself that same question a thousand times. What did he do wrong that no light had appeared for him? And the question of whether or not there was a heaven had also gnawed on him many times.
Charli swallowed hard and gulped down a mouthful of air. "You must go search again. You can't hang around here for the rest of eternity." Charli 's voice was cracking but she fought it.
"I don't want to leave you alone. I want to be here for you. I -" Chris battled to keep his feelings under control.
Finally, he whispered, "I need you."
Her heart broke in half. In a futile effort to hold him, she reached out to him and then shouted out in anger when her arms merely swept through emptiness.
A few tears welled up in Chris's eyes. Then he stood up. "You're right. There must be more to life after death than this." He pointed to his surroundings, void of family and friends. "I won't bother you again and I'm sorry for the grief I've caused you. I just hope that somewhere in the future you will be filled with happiness again. You deserve it." He walked a few yards down the riverbank and then turned around to look at Charli one last time.
Their eyes locked, for a minute. Tears were streaming down her face. He could feel her agony, it matched his - but he had to let her go. What else could he do?
He turned and left.
"Chris?" She tried to call out his name, but the words would not come out. It was as if she had a mouthful of dirt in her mouth. She wanted to run after him, but her body wouldn't move. When he was out of sight, she lay on the ground, allowing the exhaustion to wash over her. Two numb-filled hours later she got up and dragged herself to her aunt's house.