Gabriel greeted us at the door with a worried look on his face. He rushed over and took me out of Dad's arms. Immediately the heat began to return to my body and I no longer felt cold. He walked in with me and Dad followed. Dad looked very upset. I expected him to scold Gabriel.
I was put on my bed in my room which disappointed me a little, because for a second I imagined that he would take me to what I already considered our room. Then he covered me up and retired along with Daddy. I really didn't want to hear what they were saying, but even their whispers sounded to me like words coming out of a speaker.
"Gabriel... I think she should slowly start remembering the past... She's not well. Her withdrawal generated something so strong that her body felt cold. You know what this means. You've hurt her a lot. You know how it works. What were you thinking while you felt cold here? Dad's voice was inquisitive.
"Satisfaction. Don't get involved. This is not your problem and not your responsibility. When she starts to remember it won't be slow. At least some lives she will remember all at once. I won't spare her anything." Gabriel's voice was strong and indicated his irritation with Dad's meddling.
"Even though you know that whatever she feels you will also feel do you still wish to hurt her?
"I still keep present with me the pains I felt in the hot sky. For me it is nothing the cold and the pains she provides me. It is as if I am neutralized.... There is no worse hell than what she put me through. I feel pain, but I also feel satisfaction."
"Do you know where that can lead you?"
"I do. I've been here a lot longer than you have. Remember that. I know the rules. And I'm not afraid of hot skies as long as it makes her suffer a lot."
"At least tell her who she really is.... Then she'll have the strength to at least try to turn you away from that path."
"Everything has its time. And it's not her time to know yet. And she's wrong. She can't convince me of anything. Don't you think it will be more painful for her if I tell her now?"
"I can't understand you... With happiness within your reach you still prefer to live this way. If you allowed yourself to live for just one day in this happiness you would never want anything else in life. All the hurt and scarring inside you would fade away as if it never existed."
"That's easy for you to say. You have not been pursued life after life..." Gabriel took a deep breath. "You'd better go. You will never understand me because only someone who goes through pain knows the value of walking away from the rod that caused it. You don't know anything and you stand there judging me like I'm the purest soul there is. You are welcome to come here whenever you want, but don't come back with this issue in mind to be discussed again. Keep your opinions to yourself. I will not be tolerant of this subject ever again. Take your own advice and forget the past. She is no longer your daughter here. If you still feel paternal love for her how dare you discuss my feelings of hurt?" Gabriel said and I knew he was speaking between words.
I understood what Gabriel meant. Dad was no longer supposed to have feelings toward me. It was another world over there. The silence followed by Gabriel's words made me believe that Dad must have been livid at Gabriel's truth.
"Okay. Tell Liza I'll be back as soon as I can." Daddy said after all, resignedly, and I heard noises of footsteps and the living room door opening and closing. Then Gabriel's footsteps went into the kitchen where I almost fell asleep hearing the clatter of pots and cutlery. What kept me from falling asleep was the sound of my bedroom door opening. I felt afraid. He was so angry that he didn't even respect dad who is older than him... Or not... By the way he had been here much longer than Dad and could consider himself a veteran there. And by the way he spoke he was even superior.
He came in with a tray and approached me and placed it in front of me on top of my legs since I had sat down when I realized that he was entering the room. I didn't know what to expect from him.
"Eat it. It's the soup you were going to make..." He said gently. "I just made it. I hope it's to your liking."
I looked at the soup that I called "cow jam" and marveled. It smelled wonderful. I didn't know he knew that dish....
"Where did you learn to make it?" I asked, tasting and proving that he was an excellent cook. On the tray was also a glass of juice.
"Everything I eat immediately comes to my mind the way the food was made.... And I had already tasted this dish with another patient... So I recognized the ingredients as soon as I saw them on the table."
"Then I believe that in cooking it will be practically impossible to surprise you..." I said thoughtfully. What a strange gift. I wonder if he was a cook? A chef?
"Which doesn't stop you from always trying. Sometimes you manage to surprise me with your attitudes. When I think that when faced with something different you would act one way you go and act another way..."
"When did these things happen? That I surprised you?"
"A couple of times... Most recently the way you reacted back on Earth when you saw your fiancé and just now when you remembered Giovanna."
"How do you know I remembered her?"
"You are very distracted." He said laughing. "I watched and listened to every word you said from here on the balcony. Your meeting was practically right across the street."
"You... Gabriel, were you spying on me?" I asked jokingly. "I looked for you around the house and couldn't find you. I thought you had left..."
"I wasn't spying. I just didn't close my eyes or cover my ears. I hadn't gone far away.... I went to see something that needed my attention. When I arrived I saw you talking to the girl."
"I see. I also have the gift of hearing at great distances. It doesn't happen all the time. In fact, only twice has it happened. So... I heard what you talked about with Dad. E... Gabriel, who am I? Dad referred to it as if it was very important for me to know.
Gabriel looked at me amused. Which didn't match the way he had treated Dad when he had brought up the subject.
"The day you know that you'll never see me again." He said smiling, but I knew he was telling the truth.
"What is that? Some law here? Why does it have to be like this?"
"It is a rule I will break and it will take me far away. To a place I will never leave again. Because the alternative is... Something worse for me. Something I cannot conceive of."
"So it's going to be of your own free will?"
"No. But circumstances will lead me to it. I can't avoid them..."
"You can surprise yourself and act in ways you didn't imagine."
"It's not that simple... What's going to happen will trigger an avalanche of things at once. I know I'm incapable of holding on. I know where it will lead me.... Many also know of my destiny. They think that my long stay here would make me change and give up my intentions, but what they don't know is that I am not afraid of my destiny... Because I have been there before and unlike many, it was less painful to me than thinking about all I have been through..."
I finally understood what he was trying to tell me. The day I found out who I was would open a wound so big in him that I would rather go back to the warm sky than stay and heal that pain. I really did something that hurt him too much in some life. Something bad enough that he couldn't forgive me. Seeing me should constantly remind him of that past...
"I can go to another world. You don't need to expose yourself to this. I can leave here now and find a place where we will never see each other again, and you can live in peace here? I believe Antonio can help me with that..." I made the offer with tears in my eyes. Every word was a pain, but I loved him so much that I would deprive myself of his presence so that he would not return to that place and stay there forever...
"It would be nice if it would make me able to deviate from my destiny. Any of these actions you took could even lengthen my days here, but in the end it would have to happen. There is no escaping my destiny. And I'd rather it be as soon as possible. I live with this tearing everything up inside of me. I keep the pain, but that doesn't mean I don't feel it." Gabriel said and stood up. "I'm going to the hospital. I need to see my last patient. Don't just lie there. Finish your soup and read some books. In the drawers of the dressing table there are some that might interest you. I won't be long." He said and left. He wasn't angry, but he looked very tired.
Although the soup was very tasty, I couldn't eat any more after he left. Uncomfortable with the sight of him in the warm sky that wouldn't leave my mind, I got up without feeling cold, made my bed, went to the kitchen and washed the dishes. Then I decided to take a shower. The water washed away the traces of the tears I had let fall while I was under the shower. I would be without Gabriel. And that would end me. I couldn't console myself. The feeling was worse than when I found out that I would no longer live with my relatives.
I got out of the shower and went to change slowly. Then I went to the dressing table in Gabriel's room and opened the drawer. There were about three books there. I didn't take any of them and closed the drawer. I couldn't concentrate on reading at that moment. I decided that I would take a walk around the surroundings of where I lived. Perhaps the lack of contact with other people was causing me to be too dependent on Gabriel's company. And this could be suffocating for him and make me too sensitive. Things that were not good at all.
I left and as soon as I started walking I met people. They always seemed happy and would greet me and ask me about who I was and what I did. I made friends with many people that day, because everyone there was trying to be nice. But there was not that bond of true friendship with any of those people. I stopped admiring the beauty of a house the size of the one I lived in, but with vibrant colors that seemed to wave with the wind. It was a house that seemed out of the context of that place. As if it was something that shouldn't be there. It wasn't part of that place.
A hand landed on my shoulder and, startled, I quickly turned around to find out who it was. I was very happy. It was Antonio! I even felt my heart beating faster. A sincere smile broke out on my lips. I was so happy to see him again that in one of those impulses that we cannot explain, I hugged him tightly.
"Antonio... How nice to see you! Really good!"
"I missed you too."
I broke away from the hug.
"Then why didn't you come to visit me?"
"I was waiting for the adjustment period to pass."
"Antonio... I already know that I am someone who has hurt Gabriel in some life and that the day I find out.... He will come out even more hurt..."
Antonio looked at me seriously.
"Then don't try to know too much. Leave it as it is for now. Are you happy?
"Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Gabriel makes me very confused."
"Believe me it's even better this way than watching this story of you two unfold..."
"Can't I do anything to make his fate different?"
"Only he can do that, but it turns out he doesn't want to."
"He..."
"Stop thinking about him at least a little." Antonio interrupted me. "What are you doing standing here?"
"Ah..." For a moment I forgot. I was confused by the quick change of subject. "I was looking at that house. Look how different it is from the others! It doesn't even look like it's from this world. It has broken away from the patterns of the other houses..."
Antonio laughed.
"That's because she really doesn't belong here. Inside there are travelers. We don't know where they come from or where they go. But since you can see them too, you can go there and talk to them."
"What do you mean? You can't see?"
"In this area here there are no houses."
Antonio said, and then I looked to the side. There really was only vegetation and fruit trees there, which I hadn't noticed yet. I looked back at the house. And so I asked Antonio;
"Do you think that in there I would find help so that Gabriel's fate would be different?"
"Very unlikely. They are celestial beings and do not reveal or involve themselves in our dilemmas. However, if you are seeing it is because they can give you some consolation."
"I'm not going over there... I don't need consolation. That's not what I want."
"Well, if you don't want to go don't go.... But when someone can see the rainbow house it's because the beings have something to say..." Antonio said looking sideways. "Do you know where your father went? I couldn't find Alexia at home and I need ingredients for a new resident..."
"Antonio... I haven't seen Alexia, but... I was with Giovanna... And there is nothing that beings have to tell me that interests me. They'll only fill my mind more with information I don't want. Not now."
Antonio smiled softly with a gleam I had not yet seen in his gaze.
"You are maturing... And as for you and Giovanna... I know. I hope you two understand each other."
"Yes, we understand each other... You already knew about our connection, didn't you? But how do you know I was with her? I didn't see you around here while we were talking."
"I was watching them from the hall of mirrors."
"Mirror room?"
"Yes. Would you like to meet?"
"Sure."
We walked through a place that looked like these neighborhood squares. There were many of them and many couples dating on the stools. I would like to be with Gabriel dating on one of those stools.... My thoughts were interrupted by the surprise of seeing me facing a beautiful mansion in the center of one of the squares. It was all covered with a type of vine with flowers so white they seemed to glow, and I had never seen anything like it. It looked like a very detailed masterpiece and was made of crystal. But you couldn't see inside. Not even a painter could fairly reproduce the beauty of that place.
We went inside. Inside it was also very beautiful. Not like one of those houses we are used to seeing. Its standard was different from any place I have ever entered in my life. This one escapes the conventions. I couldn't believe it when I saw the walls and the floor all lined with mirrors and the furniture was all made of crystal. Antonio explained that this crystal was special. It was not one of the crystals found on Earth and the whole place was built by angels, so it would be normal for me to feel their presence while I wandered around there, because their grace was still there.
I approached the wall where there was a huge mirror and noticed the absence of my image.
"Why doesn't that mirror reflect images?"
"It reflects our soul. To be able to see yourself you need to be with a pure and sincere heart. But come! Let's go upstairs!"
"Wait Antonio! There is a young man reflected in the mirror.... Wow! It's you! And how beautiful you are..." I said in awe of the beautiful young man with eyes the color of the sky....
"Thank you." He said and smiled.
"Why is your picture there different?"
"Because I have attained purity of heart."
"I feel such great goodness emanating from you.... Is that being pure of heart?"
"Not exactly. When someone goes out in search of purity of heart what is inside them comes out. A person who is pure in heart is not necessarily good. She can be bad."
"Strange... I've always associated purity with a good, clean thing..."
"A lot of people think that way. But purity means being what you are without masks."
"I get it, but if you are already complete why haven't you moved on to the other plane yet?"
"That's different. Being pure doesn't mean you are complete. I'm not complete yet. My half... Well... In short; I'm waiting for someone..."
"Your soul mate. Haven't you found her yet?"
"Actually I have found her, but she hasn't found herself yet.... Besides there are people who will need me when the time comes and I intend to be here to help them."
"Your soulmate doesn't know about you?"
"No. It doesn't even know what it wants yet. It doesn't know whether it wants to stay here or go back, and it ends up that it is captive to its own indecision."
I stared at him thoughtfully with a frown. A thought came to me that was nonetheless disturbing. Not bad, but... Sad.
"By any chance, are we talking about Giovana?"
Antonio smiled. I saw that my wit amused and pleased him.
"Yes, but she must not know, right?"
"You should tell her. She has enormous affection for you."
"I need more than her affection.... I will know to expect her to think of me the way I want her to think of me."
"She has hopes of returning to the earthly home..." I said so that he would be tempted to tell her the truth and keep him from suffering.
Antonio lowered his head, but not in time to not let me notice the pain in his eyes. I felt like the last of the creatures. What insensitivity! Such tactlessness! I had no right to make him suffer!
"Don't worry, Liza. I really needed to know... She's not happy here."
"I'm sorry... Maybe you can change that. If she knows who you really are she'll change her mind. She confided in me that you are one of the good things she found here."
"Don't feel. When we discover the love that completes us we then discover true love. The reward for knowing how to wait is eternal love. This love is capable of crossing all barriers and conquers time. It leaves no room for negative and possessive feelings such as jealousy or the annihilation of the other being, because we are sure that we belong to each other. It is a love that divides, understands. When you discover this you will know what I am talking about. It is impossible to describe this love with words, because it was only made to be felt.
"You're sounding like a poet..." I said satisfied, but dark thoughts took over me entirely. Gabriel had a soul mate and he was hers and nothing I did would change that. An injustice. I wanted him for myself. I wanted to live that love that Antonio described with Gabriel for all eternity. And knowing that this was impossible made my being smaller. It was as if I was nothing without him. On the other hand that account of Antonio's love could be Gabriel's salvation.
"Antonio! That's it!" As much as my chest burned with pain at that idea I could not dismiss it. Gabriel was more important to me than my own happiness. "Bring Gabriel's soul mate and he'll experience something so different from what he's already experienced that he'll give up his intention!" I said feeling the tears and pain in my soul.
Antonio stared at me with curious eyes and I knew he knew my thoughts, yet he made no comment on them.
"We've already done that Liza. That didn't change his mind and on the contrary, it made him more convinced of what he should do. He is very stubborn. He doesn't let his feelings get the best of him." Antonio said and soon changed the subject. "Come, I'll show you the mirror room."
We held hands and walked up the stairs, but in my heart I was trying to hide the truth. Deep down I also loved the way Antonio described, but with the caveat that it was unrequited and I knew it could never be.
I thought that the upstairs would be just like the other floor, but I was completely wrong. It was a common room but crowded and with many giant size mirrors. We stopped in front of one of them. Antonio tuned it as if it were a television and different colors began to appear in the mirror. He provided an armchair and handing me a crystal controller and a piece of paper with the names of all the people I had known in life, he left me alone.
On the controller were buttons from zero to nine. At first I didn't understand their meaning. I pressed the number eighteen that was in front of my mother's name and solved the mystery. She appeared on the big screen. I was thrilled. She was putting clothes on the clothesline. It was so much better to watch her from there. It was more comfortable to send good vibes to her heart. And I decided at that moment that I would not return to earth with the intention of seeing them.
I also saw my brothers, my fiancé, and some friends. I thought that Julio's anger at having forgotten me would return as soon as I saw him again, but that was not the case. This time I was even glad that he had found someone else and decided to hope that he would be happy. I even wondered if I ever really loved him. What I felt for him was more like friendship. I didn't feel the same desire that I felt for Gabriel, for him. Maybe we wouldn't have been happy together. Then, curious I pressed the number button that was in front of Souvenirs and a mirror appeared. I was intrigued by the meaning of this. Looking more closely I recognized the place where it was. It was the forest where Gabriel had taken me and revealed that I would finally see my family? The mirror was camouflaged between the wall that I had trained the objects to pass through. It was in a corner where you could only see it if you looked very carefully. Which was very difficult, because the place had several areas that caught our attention for their beauty and peculiarity.
I went downstairs looking for Antonio to satisfy my curiosity and when I didn't find him I determined to go to where the mirror was. It was a long walk because I constantly made mistakes, but there was always someone who willingly showed me the right place. I didn't tell them anything about the mirror. I just asked about where the object passing classes were and they were happy to give me the correct direction. When I got there I found it without difficulty. It did not reflect my image as well as the mirrors Antonio took me to. I stopped in front of it and lilac waves began to move and when I raised my hand to touch the waves a voice like thunder startled me and I immediately backed away.
"No!" It was the same desperate, terrified voice as when I was going to drink the waterfall water.