Chereads / In Search Of Redemption / Chapter 12 - The Time is Now

Chapter 12 - The Time is Now

Immediately recognizing Gabriel's voice I was afraid I had done something very wrong.

"You must not touch that mirror! Not even go near it!" He said stepping closer and standing between me and the mirror.

"And why not?" I asked more out of curiosity to know the reason for this prohibition than to know what the mirror was doing.

"It's not time yet." He said looking haggard.

"That's your answer to everything! And it's very empty. You need to be clearer. Time for what? You said the same thing about the water. What does this water and this mirror mean?"

"Stop questioning me!" He said angrily and reached over and grabbed me by the shoulders. "You crazy woman! Where have you been? Didn't I tell you to stay home?"

"I don't owe you any satisfaction!"

He released me with a small shove that distanced me from him staring at me with a different glint in his eye.

"No? Is that what you really think? That you don't owe me any satisfaction?"

"That's right!" I said crossing my arms and I know I was sounding arrogant at his question which seemed ambiguous to me.

Gabriel ran his hand through his hair. Undoing the curls in a nervous gesture and then looked at me with a decisive glint in his eye.

"If you don't tell me soon where you have been I will take you back to the hospital and never allow you to leave." He said quietly.

I was furious at the threat, but since I knew he wouldn't think twice about carrying out what he said and knowing that glint in his eye meant he was really willing to do that and indignant I decided I had to answer him.

"I went out to talk to our neighbors and then.... I went to visit the crystal mansion."

"How did you know of its existence?"

"Antonio took me."

"Was he with you the whole time?"

"No... I saw a house with waving colors and got distracted.... He appeared while I was admiring it.... After a conversation he told me about the crystal mansion and invited me to visit. I accepted and after I started seeing my relatives I didn't see him again."

"And you were there until now?"

"I left there, but I don't know how long it's been. I walked a long time until I found the mirror..."

"That's where I'm asking you from. In front of the mirror."

"Oh no! I got lost many times.... I thought you were asking me about the crystal mansion.... I just got here a few minutes ago.

"I see..." He stared at me as if to tell me I was telling a lie and was thoughtful for a moment.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about the crystal mansion?"

"I didn't think it would seem interesting to you to see the people you know from a distance..." He said and I believed it to be true as there was sincerity in his voice.

"I don't intend to see them up close ever again. That was a very stressful experience for me. Now I think of it this way. Now that I know there is another way to see them... Haven't you ever wondered why you never asked to go back there?"

"I thought it was a matter of time. Your disappointment was very recent and I believed you were still healing the wounds from your first visit."

"And how did you find me now?"

"When I realized you were taking your time I was guided by my instinct." He answered me in an irritated manner, but he seemed relieved as well. "I don't want you to leave ever again without telling me where you are going. Are we clear?"

"Besides being obnoxious you are still a tyrant. A dictator." I said plus I couldn't help a smile of amusement. He was so confusing. He made me talk so much nonsense.

He laughed too.

"Then let's go you look tired and need a bath." He said pulling me along. When we got home the bathtub was already prepared and he started to take off my clothes. And with each piece he took off his hands caressed my skin. After undressing, he picked me up and put me in the bathtub without stopping staring at me with feverish and lustful eyes. The urgency with which he approached the tub made me desire him with impatience and ardor. When we reached climax he took me into the bedroom where we once again loved each other.

"Aren't you going back to the hospital?" I asked as I rested in his arms and basked in his scent.

"Why do you think that?"

"Before you left you said you would visit your last patient..."

"There always comes a time to say goodbye. I have abandoned my chosen task..."

"Why did you do that?"

"How can someone who is sick help someone who is healthier than he is?"

I was silent thoughtfully. He considered himself sick. Was he that bad? How could I help? Antonio said that his soul mate was brought to him and if that didn't work to change his direction I didn't know what else I could do. I would have to resign myself to the fact that I had lost Gabriel to his resentment sooner or later. And thinking like this I ended up falling asleep.

A few days passed. All relaxed and in an atmosphere of love. Gabriel, as always, seemed indifferent, but no longer rejected me when I sought him out. This alone made me happy. Sometimes I saw that gleam of amusement in his eyes that I liked so much, but they became rare.

During these days we were visited by our friends and my family. Alexia became a great friend and taught me dishes that were Gabriel's favorites, as he had become accustomed to them because of the time he had last lived on some world. She learned about it because one day she asked him to make it and explained the same thing that she was telling me. This was very helpful. Gabriel was not one to eat with such pleasure as he did in front of that dish. Little by little I was getting used to my new life. Sometimes I didn't even remember that I was no longer in the earthly home and that I no longer had a body of flesh and blood, but was now a spirit. Gabriel and I went for walks every afternoon. Sometimes we made love on the green grass near the woods where the waterfall was. Gabriel treated me with such coldness that it cut my heart. I was always trying to make him smile, or at least to get rid of that sullen look that never left his beautiful face. His expression only softened when we made love. I knew that for him I was nothing more than an object. That he would only remember when he wanted to use it and then put it aside and only picked it up again when it was time to use it again.

In the beginning I tried to convince myself that he would change with time, but time went by and every day he got worse. Sometimes I was disgusted to think that he did everything to make me hate him. I was about to find out why, even though I didn't want to know.

One day, when we had fought about something I don't even remember, he took me to the waterfall again. But something there had changed. At the moment I didn't know exactly what, but afterwards I realized that the atmosphere I felt there every time I visited the place was of immense peace, tranquility and harmony. And now it was a charged air, tense, reminiscent of fear. Everything was deserted. The silence was horrifying. The sun suddenly hid and in its place dark clouds appeared denouncing an approaching storm. This had never happened before. Not there. I had a bad feeling, but I couldn't call it off. Something very important was about to happen and I would not be a coward. The wind was blowing fast and its howl was like an omen. Gabriel looked like an angel. Strong, vigorous... The curls of his hair swayed in the wind and a devilish smile appeared on his lips when he sensed my fear. Trying to ignore how much it hurt me to see him enjoying himself because of my desperation I called him to leave even though I thought not to be a coward.

"Why?" he asked with a fake innocent look.

"Can't you see that a storm is approaching? We'd better seek shelter!"

He let out a laugh that spread with the wind. It seemed to sound like a threat. I was growing more and more terrified.

"That..." He started to say and gestured encompassing the storm. "That storm is inside me! That is the fruit of what you have planted! It represents everything you've done. Isn't that all you longed to know? What was inside me? Well, here is your doubt settled. Could you live with this storm inside you haunting you night and day, Liza?" He asked laughingly delivering the thick drops that were beginning to fall along with a haunting, strong wind. "You will meet you today the way you presented yourself to me."

I didn't understand what he meant. He looked so indestructible. He looked like a pirate who climbed on the bow without fear and let the wind caress his face as if it was something he gave it to him every day and got used to it. It was as if he was defying the fury of the storm to knock him over if he could. I was totally indifferent as if only I realized that the storm was approaching more and more furiously. Although it was afternoon it was dark as night. Gabriel started walking towards me with a murderous glint in his eyes. Scared, I started to run, knowing that he was after me. I didn't know what he was capable of. He seemed out of his mind. I felt that something important and irreversible would happen that day, but I would try to escape from it because I also knew that it was not something good... I ran so hard and at a certain point I no longer heard his heavy footsteps and stopped running. At this instant thick drops started to fall harder. I looked around and realized that I didn't know where I was. My tears mixed with the rain that soaked me in seconds. I started walking again and noticed a cave that could serve me as shelter. I wasn't afraid to go in there because there were no animals there. At least I had never seen them. Exhausted and soaked, I sat down at the bottom of the cave, leaning my head against the wall. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I closed my eyes and asked God that someone would find me there. I stopped my prayer when I heard footsteps. I opened my eyes already afraid of what I would see. Even sensing who it was, I was startled when I saw Gabriel standing at the entrance to the cave with his arms crossed. He had a wicked smile on his lips and the same glint in his eyes. I looked to the side. There was no escape. I was trapped. I became more frightened when he began to approach slowly.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked trying to buy time.

"Isn't it obvious? For a walk... One that you have been charging me for a long time..."

"I don't know what you are talking about, but I want you to stop. I desire nothing more than to return to the safety of our home and stay there together."

He stared at me with eyes as cold as steel and I felt a tightness in my chest. I didn't know if he could kill me since I was already dead. But maybe he knew something that would make me suffer more than any physical pain.

He shook his head in a negative and the smile returned to his lips.

"Liza... Always wanting something and when you get it you run away from your desire..."

"What do you want from me?" I would not allow you to touch me. Not this Time! He wouldn't use me after putting me through so much fear.

"Don't be an idiot! If I wanted to do something with you I wouldn't need to bring you here. Or did you forget that what went through that beautiful head I don't need to get the power? I have you whenever I want.

Before I could think I stood up like lightning and raised my hand to slap that arrogant face, but I couldn't get my way, for its steel claws already held my wrist firmly.

"Don't try that again, for I can assure you that you would regret it later. Besides nothing you have said escapes the truth." He said with false sweetness and gallantry.

"You are an arrogant man! A pig! A dirty one! A monster!"

"Your affectionate compliments will not help you now. For they don't even touch me. Especially since when you talk like that it sounds like you're describing yourself."

"I don't know if anything can touch you! You have a heart of stone!"

He angrily squeezed my wrist. I tried to break free, but it was in vain. His fingers closed like handcuffs.

"A heart is not born of stone. If it has become so you can bet that some very strong reason forced it to harden!" He said between teeth. He seemed to be trying to contain the fury that existed inside him. "But you don't care, right? As long as you achieve your goals nothing else matters..." He said the last sentence with a lost and confused look. But it was only for a few seconds and then it became cold and cutting again.

The air in there seemed more charged than the storm that was falling outside.

"I don't know what you're talking about! And let go of me you're hurting me!"

"That's the intention. Even though I know that no pain I cause you will ever compare to what you've imposed on me. Nothing would be as great enough as the pain you made me live through." Her eyes were flooded, but she didn't know if they were tears or if it was the rainwater dripping from her golden curls.

"But what are you talking about? What could I have done to hurt you so much?"

"Oh yeah. You don't know. Well, come on then. It's time to find out. There's no use in trying to make you pay. I make you happy and not unhappy as I intended so there's no reason to wait any longer."

He said, dragging me out of the cave.

"But Gabriel, a storm is coming down!" I said reluctantly.

He stopped and turned back to face me.

"I didn't lie, Liza. That storm you see is actually what was hidden inside me. And that thick rain is my long suppressed and contained weeping. Here is the fruit your love has left in me. I hope you enjoy it. It is your work. Lives and lives of your greatest talent; to find me and destroy me. Isn't that what you have sought to know since you first saw me?"

And without further ceremony he walked off dragging me through the storm. When we reached the waterfall where there was the wall we used to train passages, he let me go, pushing me violently to the side of it.

"Go to where the blue stones are and drink from the water." He said like a teacher teaching a difficult student. I obeyed, for my intention was to get away from him. He couldn't see me from where I was and by the time he realized my delay I might already be safe at Dad's house. I walked, totally drenched, and arrived at the blue stone waterfall. Even though it was stormy, its waters were inviting. I stopped and admired it, thinking about what to do. I looked to the side where Gabriel was waiting for me and saw no sign of him. It was time to run away, but something wouldn't let me. I seemed stuck there in front of the sight that soothed my eyes. Still believing that I would run away, I decided that I would drink from the water and find out why he had not let me drink the first time. I went down a little further and stopped my hand and as soon as I got some of that water I drank it. It was refreshing much more than I imagined. Then I saw in my mind so many faces that were unknown to me, but at the same time so close that I thought I would be driven crazy. There were so many faces. There were people in different costumes shuffling around in my mind. They could be my memories of past lives, but I needed help immediately. I could live without them. But I couldn't live with the agonizing screams and voices blaming me. I didn't think twice. I went back to where Gabriel was waiting for me. He looked at me and when he saw my face, which I believe was desperate and distressed, he smiled and became silent.

"Help me to stop these voices Gabriel, please!"

"Why do you want that?" He asked still smiling.

"They are tormenting me." I said almost begging for his help.

He stared at me for a long time.

"Those voices are tormenting me too. You are able to bear them. The anguish I believe you are feeling from each of them is my anguish too. That's what I hear every time I look at you. And every time I touch you, I am disgusted with myself, because these voices remind me of who I am lying with. But for you it will be different because they mean nothing to you. The people in those voices are not important to you."

"If they are nothing to me then why do I listen to them? What do you want with that? When will they go away?" I asked disguising the pain his words were causing me.

"Touch the mirror." He said crossing his arms.

I looked back and only then realized that the mirror was right behind me.

"But, it was you yourself who told me not to ..."

"Because it wasn't time yet."

"And what has done or happened to make you believe that I am ready? That now is the right time?"

"The angel told me in a dream."

"It may have been just a dream..."

He took a deep, impatient breath.

"You have already drunk of the water. Now touch the mirror!" He said seeming to get more irritated.

I started to decide that the best thing was to do as he told me so we could get out of there as quickly as possible. But something was screaming in my heart that it wouldn't be like that. So I needed him to accept that it was not yet time. I looked at him in a silent plea for mercy so that he wouldn't make me do this.

He stared back at me and for minutes we stared at each other. I could see in his eyes the firm resolve not to turn back. He was convinced that he was doing the right thing. If I met that angel I would kick him. It was his fault.

"Gabriel... How do you know it is an angel of good who talked to you? It could be an evil angel who decided to destroy our peace."

"You are the one responsible for destroying our peace. The angel is good. I knew I had this mission and was waiting for him to come and tell me when it would happen. He even asked me to do it differently to change my fate. I could be seeing the sky now and feeling the warmth of the sun as a caress as I remembered.... But I thought this scenario was more appropriate and I also wanted you to know my inner self. And on the other hand, only you were at peace."

"You've already shown me that Gabriel. Let's leave now. There is nothing more I wish to know. And now that you have put it out there it will stop being a torment in your life."

"Even if I wanted to take you away now and leave everything behind I couldn't because, my mission is to make you see what you were once capable of and maybe still are.... I will never know. But I can taste what you'll be feeling when you're done remembering through your own eyes. I'll settle for that."

"Stop Gabriel. Your feelings and wants are contradictory considering the place you are in. I will help you. We will talk to whoever it takes to make this task no longer your obligation..."

"Do you really think you can change the fate that was written for me? That anyone can? Your ignorance scares me sometimes."

"I don't want that Gabriel... Please..."

Gabriel came to me and pushed me to the mirror and told me to touch it. I obeyed. I looked at Gabriel again, but I could no longer see him. The memories of other lives were clear and danced in front of me. I was no longer there. And I was there at the same time. It was as if a hand on the other side of the mirror held me and passed the forgotten memories to me...