"Waitress Crimson Beer,"
"Right away Kazuma san!" a pretty red haired waitress said before hurrying to the kitchen.
I looked back at the board in front of me. Megumin just teleported her king off the board, she can't do that more than once per game. That means I just need to have my mage to reverse the teleportation, but if I do that, the orc here will…
"Ano, Kazuma, are you sure you should be here?" Darkness asked suddenly. "I think you should wait in your cell, just for tonight."
I turned to our party's crusader. "Oh! Right, I forgot, I'll get back later okay? Just let me have this game, I think I'm winning," I said while moving my chess piece.
"Keep dreaming! No one can surpass a Crimson Demon in this game!" Megumin exclaimed before revealing her surprise combo with the priest and the three vanguards at the side of the board.
I clicked my tongue. Damn it, this little girl really is my bane. Come on, let me win against her just this once!
"Sorry for the wait, please enjoy,"
A waitress came to us and put down a glass of beer. I grinned and smiled at her. "Thanks Minnie chan!"
The waitress blushed a little before hurriedly walking away.
Chary taught me some passive succubus skills to increase my charm by one hundred percent. Even with my seventy percent penalty, the passive still increases my charm by thirty percent. So yeah, if Megumin isn't sitting in front of me, these girls will totally be all over me.
I took a chug out of the beer and made a daring move with my crusader and priest, the one on the board I mean, not the real one.
"Anyway, where's Aqua?"
Darkness looked out the window. "She's at home, practicing,"
Ahh… I did tell her to practice singing and learn some bard skills when I'm away…
"Then again, Kazuma, you should really return. Staying here for longer will only make matters worse!" she said sternly.
I rolled my eyes and chugged down the beer. "Fine…" I turned towards my girlfriend. "I'll see you tonight okay?"
"M'kay,"
"Kazuma!"
I held up my hands. "Chill, chill Darkness, I meant in my dreams. I'll met her tonight in our shared dreams," I grabbed the beer that's still half full and stood up. "Welp, I'll see you later!"
With that, I activated my teleportation and found myself standing inside my cell. I leaned on the corner and start sipping on my beer. "Hmm, want some?" I asked to the guard standing outside the cell.
The guard who apparently came from Axel, just shook his head a little. "Behave a little Kazuma sama, you're already giving poor Sena hell…"
"Hee? Really now? But I haven't play around with her trusty bell yet," I told him.
"Sena isn't a bad person, just overly strict," the guard said. "When lord Alderp demanded your arrest, she was the only one brave enough to do it," he explained.
I sighed a little at that. I can actually respect that side of her, a person who's brave enough to face overwhelming odds to uphold what she think is right. Damn it, now I feel bad…
"You just made me feel bad for bullying her earlier today," I finished my beer and teleported it back to the table in the guild. "How dare you."
"Listen, just cut her some slack alright? I dunno what you're planning to do with the bell interrogation tomorrow but…" the guard took a deep breath. "Don't bully her too much, okay?"
---
I poured some mana into my ear and listened to the conversation behind the interrogation wall beside me. It seems Sena is arguing with someone about something.
"... haven't meet that grinning devil with your own eyes! He broke through an adamantite enhanced handcuff like two pieces of string and snapped the magical cage we used to cage up fully grown dragons like toothpicks!"
"Sena san, it doesn't matter how strong he is. All you have to do is prove him guilty, this is Lord Alderp's orders. Even if he resists, that's even better! He'll be branded as a traitor and we can put bounty on he's head, why are you so afraid of some mindless brute?"
"Listen to me dimwit, this mindless brute is known as the Smartest Person in Axel. He defeated Mitsurugi Kyoya and the Demon Lord General Verdia when he was just a level twelve adventurer. Can you guess what's his level now? Thirty fucking eight, let that sink in for a moment before you throw me into that Dragon's Cage!"
Yeah, I think I need to cut her some slack…
After a few minutes, Sena stepped into the interrogation room. Her uniform looked a little bit disheveled and her hair looked a little unkempt. But she still has that stern look on her face. She put down a golden bell on the table beside me and sat down in front of me.
"This bell will benefit you more in this interrogation," I said before she could say a word.
Ring
"Oh, glad to see it works,"
Judging by the look on her face, I can safely say she's rather be somewhere else right now. Like, the other side of the continent if possible.
"Satou Kazuma. Age sixteen, working as an adventurer. Your job is also an adventurer… So, state your place of birth and what you were doing before you started adventuring."
I already expected this question. If I tell her my usual lie, the bell will probably pick it up already. So, instead, I told her the truth that makes no sense.
"I was a ranker from Japan who also studied different advanced subject unlike anything you've ever heard before. I was an expert of using a powerful device beyond all magic that lets me connect to all sources of knowledge in the entire world and share my thoughts with the entire world with a click of my finger tips. This puts me in the shoes of a strategist that led armies and battles through this digital world against others."
Sena gaped at me with wide eyes, looking between the bell and towards me. "I-I see…" she whispered nervously. She wrote something along the lines of 'origin: Japan, fuck if I know'
"N-next, state the reason why you wanted to become an adventurer."
Again, an obvious question, but quite a smart one. Everyone has their hidden and different motives. Unfortunately for her, my motives are very straight forward.
"I wanted to become an adventurer for earnings, obviously, to get stronger, and to ki-defeat all Demon King Generals and eventually Destroy the Demon King."
That was a close one, phew! I have no plan to kill Wiz.
What? You think I'll forget that she's a demon king general?
"…Ve-Very well. Next question. Do you bear any grudge against the landlord?"
"I didn't," I replied simply. "But now… Eh, a little bit of a grudge, not to the point to I want him dead though. Because if I do want him dead," I gave Sena my kindest, most gentle smile. "Sena chan, he'll be dead before you know it…"
Silence answered my statement. Sena's breathing started to get heavy and she wiped some sweat off her forehead.
"N-next question, I've heard of some bad rumours about you. Saying that you are known for stripping girls of their panties in public, covering girls in slime, using explosion spells for no particular reason, beating up your own party member on daily basis, and claiming to be the second coming of the Demon King. Are these just baseless rumours?"
"Nope! Panties in public is one of the many practical prank I do at the guild, covering girls in slime is mostly due to an accident during frog hunting, my girlfriend thinks that explosion are romantic, beating up my party member is because my crusader absolutely loves getting beaten up, and claiming to be the second coming of the Demon King is…"
I paused for a moment and looked at Sena who's holding her breath. "Do you really wanted to know?"
"Yes, just tell me."
Ring
"tsk, tsk, tsk, you know you shouldn't lie Sena chan… But since you're bound by the will of law, perhaps I should tell you my plan after defeating the demon king."
I can hear her heartbeat at this point. The anticipation is probably killing her.
"This is my personal plan, that is building a nice cafe in Axel or in the capital. Retire as an adventurer and take care of my children from each girls in my harem. Some of them will have a very weird name, Some of them will develop a weird fetish, and the other will be extremely good at performing tricks and singing in public. It will be a slow life, but a nice and peaceful one nonetheless. I will then maybe take on the mantle of immortality as an immortal Lich and protects the town for generations to come."
Sena didn't even try to hide her relief. She exhaled a deep breath and put a hand over her chest. "Thank Eris…" she whispered to herself. "Hah… Hah…" she looked back towards me. "Alright, Kazuma, I plead you not guilty of all charges…"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes… You are free to go…"
Ring
"Sena? What's wrong? Am I not free to go?
Sena bit her lip and looked down. "Lord Alderp demanded your execution regardless of your innocence, I'm sorry…"
Ahh… So it's like that huh?
"Are we being watched?"
"No,"
The bell was silent and I realized that it's the perfect chance.
"Does he hates me that much?"
"I don't understand his motives, but he is known for his reputation as a corrupt and selfish noble…"
"Is he going to be present in the court?"
"Y-yes, why?" then her eyes widened in realization. "You wouldn't… In front of that many people!?"
I grinned at her. "I am not on a good terms with a General of the Demon King!"
Ring
---
"You're late," Megumin said the moment I stepped into the dream. She's currently in her pajamas and sat under a large tree on top a cliff overlooking the Axel City. "Did the prosecutor give you trouble?"
"No, I gave her trouble," I sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. Then I snaked my hand around her upper thighs and her face turned red all of a sudden. "Looks like you just can't wait anymore huh?"
"Well, time went slower when we're in this dream," Megumin muttered to herself.
"Is that all?"
'click'
The little girl stifled a moan, her hand curled up into a fist and her breathing gets heavier. "Ka-Kazuma, s-stop, it's too-hya!" her hands gripped my shirt and she burried herself on to my body. "Sh-shut it off you…"
The button disappeared and I just chuckled a little at the way she's looking at me right now. "How am I supposed to stop teasing you when you keep giving me that look?" her face was red. She bit her lip as her eyes stared at me in a mixture of longing and embarrassment.
"If you want to do it, just do it… You pervert…"
I put a hand at the back of her neck and pulled her face to mine. Our lips met in a deep kiss and everything was about to escalate when…
The ground and the sky around us disappeared. We let go of each other and looked around in panic. Suddenly, we're sitting on a two chairs, facing a white chair with a certain loli goddess standing behind it.
"Alright you two, I'll make this quick and you guys can go back on your business," Paradox said with a flat look on her face. "No, you're not dead, I just bring your souls here for a quick chat," she said.
Megumin looked at Paradox in confusion before looking at me. "Kazuma… Is this her?"
"Yeah, the goddess of Wisdom and Trickery, Paradox," I told her.
We both straightened our posture and put our hands on the desk. I don't know what she wants but whatever it is, must be extremely important.
"First of all, congratulations for defeating the destroyer!" Paradox clapped her hands a little with a proud smile on her face. "Now begin the part of your journey, where most of the time, your powers are practically useless."
So this is the warning call huh? Well, at least she's kind enough to just summon us here instead of giving a bunch of cryptic message through all sorts of random clues. Then again, a noble did demand my execution, so, I guess it's a matter of wisdom and intellect.
"So, do you have any tips on winning the court?"
"Yeah, don't win,"
"What?" Megumin exclaimed in disbelief. "What do you mean don't win? Kazuma's going to get executed for property damage!"
Paradox waved her hand dismissively. "Kazuma's OP, he won't get killed easily. This is actually isn't about Kazuma or you, the problem now is about Dustiness Ford Lalatina," she explained.
"Lalatina?" I asked.
"What? You think Darkness is her real name?"
I don't like how she dropped a fucking bombshell like stating a fact. Dustiness Ford Lalatina is Darkness… That masochistic pervert is fucking noble. Goddammit! How did I not see this earlier!?
"So…" I wracked my brain, trying to figure out what this goddess is thinking of. "Darkness, she… She wanted me to…" ah, come on brain think. "No, you want Darkness to do something, is that right?"
Paradox grinned at that. "YES! That's it! As expected of my champion. You see, if I let things turn out right now, you will win the court and Alderp will get arrested. I know that sounds like an ideal outcome, but if you do that, you will lose Darkness forever."
Megumin and I nodded understandingly.
"Well, with Aqua around, it shouldn't be hard for you to lose in the court battle. But I'd like it if you could get yourself executed for sexual harassment instead of treason."
For a goddess, she really has a twisted sense of humor.
Megumin raised her hand. "Umm, just want to ask, do you have any worshipper? I've never heard of a church based around you,"
"I don't have any worshipper in this world," Paradox replied. "I am goddess that came from far, far away world, unlike Eris and Aqua."
"Don't you need worshipper? I mean, if Aqua's action are anything to go by…"
"Unlike most goddess who gain powers after ascending, I gain my powers long before I became a goddess," Paradox explained. "In some world I am known as an angel, in others I am known as a godkin, in some I am the goddess of law and teaching, and here, I am the goddess of wisdom and trickery."
Megumin gazed at Paradox with stars in her eyes. "S-so cool! So you're more powerful than even Eris sama?"
"Of course," then she looked away for a bit. "By the way, I have a favor for you concerning Eris chan, but that can wait until the Kingdom Arc," she snapped her fingers and her form began to fade away. "Welp, you can continue your hardcore sex now, I'll be watching but I won't disturb. See ya!"
With that, we suddenly returned under the cliffside tree. Megumin and I looked at each other, Paradox's last words ringing in our ears.
"S-so, all this time we're…" Megumin's cheeks reddened a little. "She…"
"Well, let's just give her a show, shall we?" I grinned at her before tackling her into a hug.