Everyone has a day that they know changes the course of their history. I wasn't aware at the time that this day would change my path. That was my first mistake. Instead I lived it like any other day, full of whines and groans as I am awakened in my bed by my nagging sister, Clara, who tickled my nose with a rogue feather from my pillow.
"Wake up" she whispered, continuing the torturous movement of the feather against my nose. I wiggled away from her, trying to keep my eyes closed as long as possible.
"Lisbeth, you are going to be late" she taunted, continuing to run the feather around my nose. I twitched, and rubbed my hand against my nose, trying to avoid any more attacks from her.
"Lisbeth!" Clara screamed, at the top of her voice. I jumped at her scream and begrudgingly opened my eyes to see my sister hovering over me, her face wild with frustration.
"Clara, please, let me sleep for a few more minutes" I moaned as my last resort. "No one is going to notice me gone."
Clara huffed at my remark and then to my surprise, she hopped off the bed. I silently cheered in my head at my victory, surprised I could finally win against my older sister. No sooner than she stood, however, I felt the tug of the blanket and had to embrace the tepid air and my sister's smirk.
"No more dawdling" she cooed. "I have made a delicious breakfast in your honor today. Wilson almost didn't let me but after some persuasion, here I am, and you will not be taking advantage of my generous gift today!"
I glanced up at my sister, holding my threadbare quilt with her smug look on her face. Growing up, I felt envious of her curly brown hair, generous curves and heart shaped face. She always appeared like a lady, with her sweet smiles, her gentle laughter and shy demeanor. It was how I knew she got Wilson to listen to her, her act of sweetness, when in reality, and with me, she was a little deceiver, who knew how to play with people's hearts to get what she wanted. At that moment, I did not feel envious of her, but felt pity as I sighed and rolled out of the bed.
"Good girl. Clean up quickly and rush downstairs or your food will get cold." Clara threw my quilt back onto my bed, marched out of my room and closed the door behind her to retreat to the kitchen.
I stared at the door for a minute, fearing my exit. It was a big day for me and a little voice inside me screamed to climb back into bed, cover my face with the quilt and wait until tomorrow. I took a deep breath and focused on following my morning routine instead, creating a checklist as I did each mundane step. Wash face, check. Make bed, check. Get changed, check. Brush my hair, check. Put my hair up, check. Brush my teeth, check. I scrambled to finish each task and glanced at the frothy mirror to guarantee I would be presentable. Inspecting the mirror, I was expecting to look older, wiser, and more mature. However, I only saw me: my ash blonde hair and blue eyes with the splatter of freckles along my nose. No wrinkles, no growth, only me. Sighing with defeat I quickly patted my hair before sprinting out of my tiny room and into the tiny kitchen where Clara was serving eggs and toast. I smiled at the luxury, surprised my father could afford the eggs and butter and my mouth watered with excitement of not only eating, but not having to cook it as well.
"This looks great!" I remarked, sitting at my place at the table. "Good morning father" I said as I picked up the toast to take a bite.
"Mornin'"he remarked, as he picked up his toast to join me. I smiled at him as I took a big bite, and he followed soot. Clara smiled and joined in, and for once, we were one big happy family.
"How are you feeling?" Clara asked sympathetically as she picked up her fork.
I gulped my toast quickly before answering her. "I feel fine. It might not even happen today. I just turned eighteen last month and being chosen so early is so rare. I think I have months left before it happens."
"But it is the first time Lis!" Clara said. "I know when I went through it, I was shaking with nerves. I promise though, after the first time, you get used to it. I mean, I got lucky though, it only took me six months so I only had to do it six times, but you might need to brace yourself for all twelve! I am very happy to help you along the way"
"She will get picked early," my father said calmly. The delicious food in my stomach rolled over with his declaration. "You are ready anyways Lisbeth. You are not a child anymore".
My heart ached at his statement and the rest of my food tasted like dirt as I finished my meal in silence. I was not ready for this ritual, but, as my father said, I was not a child anymore. Still, I looked at my sister and knew that through her own ritual, it was not always the most pleasant of outcomes.
Once breakfast was over, I tried cleaning up only to have Clara shoo me away from the kitchen. I sighed in defeat and turned to head to the front door.
"No point in leaving" my father said. "We are heading out once we are done cleaning up. Your sister and I want good seats and I am having Catherine do your hair there".
"What!" I felt my fists curled up. Catherine Gerard, the one person in this town who I could punch and never feel a moment of regret. Catherine Gerard, the one person who I could happily never see again and it would be too soon. Catherine Gerard, the one woman in charge of this ritual and could ruin everything for me. My father didn't notice my distress but Clara eyed me understandingly, remembering her times with the woman from her year of ritual. I exhaled slowly trying to squash down my hatred and put civility into my words. "Why is she doing my hair? She never did Clara's hair."
"She volunteered so I said yes. I thought it was such a nice gesture and she always cared about you girls". I sensed some hesitation in my father's voice and Clara turned away from the conversation to finish the dishes. Relaying those words, I felt something was off and I wondered what my father was not telling me. I looked back and wondered if I had the courage to ask, or even hint to him that I knew something was not right, would things be different that day. But, being a young woman of eighteen, I did not have the right to speak out against my father. While dwelling on his words, I sat back at the table and watched Clara clean up and my father pick up a book to read. My stomach did flip flops as I sat waiting, my nerves creeping through me from my toes to my hair. I imagined every horrible outcome in that moment, and when Clara announced herself finished and ready to head out, I almost cried out that I was not going. Instead, I jumped up quickly and led the charge to the town center, preparing for the big ritual that happens every first of the month.
****
Most people love something about their towns, whether it is alive and busy, sleepy and calm, beautiful, dirty or the fact that it reminds them of home. Me, I hated my town. My family, for as long as they remembered, always lived in the tiny town of Cromerth. In fact, so has everyone else in this town. What you don't know about Cromerth is once, quite a while ago, something happened to our town where no matter how many times you try, you cannot leave. Men and women, for centuries, dedicated their lives trying to find out how to beat the barrier that surrounds us, however, they never were able to break down that wall, hence, we were never able to leave. My ancestors and the rest of the townspeople in their time found ways to make Cromerth a place to survive in, with plenty of resources to keep us alive. The council was able to come up with many things to regulate, like how many animals each household can hold, how often can we hunt, how to reuse old clothes to make new ones, how many people can live under one household, how big is your garden, all the way to what is probably their most famous action: the ritual.
As I continued leading my family to the town square, I noticed the majority of girls who will be participating in the ritual were already there. I grimaced when I saw Catherine Gerard discussing details with the law enforcement, Mr. Kurtz, and hoped she would stay over there with him until the ritual started.
"Good luck sweetpea" my father said, gently pulling me into a hug. I hugged back, surprised by his affection, which he normally didn't show. He pulled back almost too quickly, and turned around the other way, heading towards the few chairs that were laid out for the event. I turned to see my sister Clara, tears brimming her eyes.
"Not you too" I said, crossing my arms at her reaction. Clara snorted, using the back of her hand to wipe her eyes.
"Sorry Lis, I just, I – I hope this goes well for you. You deserve the best!" She sniffed and grabbed me for a hug as well, before sweeping off to join our father. I felt a tear escape my eyes, thinking about all my sister has been through from the ritual. It was not fair for her to have her end this way and I pray that I was not going to end up like her.
"Yoohoo, Lissy, sweetie!" I moaned internally, knowing Catherine Gerard's voice anywhere. I put on my biggest smile and turned to face her.
"Good morning Mrs. Gerard," I replied. "How are you this fine day? Beautiful weather we are having."
"Fine my dear, but forget the weather, let's take a look at you!" She motioned for me to twirl using her index finger. Wishing I could do anything but, I obliged and twirled in place slowly, so she could see what she had to work with.
"Such a pretty girl, but that hair- ugh – hideous! Let's have a seat and fix it up all nice and pretty so you are the prettiest girl at the ritual!" She led me to the preparation area where four chairs were taken by girls preparing for the ritual, including my best friend, Abigail Barker, who looked as white as a ghost.
"Shoo" Catherine Gerard hissed, and all four girls hopped up, leaving the area empty for the two of us. Abigail quickly waved as she left, and I knew she was worried about this being her eleventh time at the ritual. One more after today and...well, unfortunate results.
"Take a seat" I obediently went to the nearest seat and sat down, and before I knew it, I felt Catherine Gerard's claws digging into my skull. "Let's see if we can make this hair a bit curly sweetie." I heard Catherine Gerard's hum as she started heating up a metal stick over the fire. I sat quietly as she worked, wishing I could see her interpretation of the hairdo she envisioned that would make me the "prettiest girl at the ritual"
"My, my Lissy!" she squealed about halfway through. "I never knew what a beautiful woman you can turn into!"
I wished she could go back to silence. "Thank you Mrs. Gerard. I could never be as beautiful as my sister Clara though"
Catherine Gerard laughed at my comment as she grabbed another piece of my hair. "How is your sister's marriage with Mark Wilson? I see they haven't come to me about children yet."
I cringed at her remark. Clara would hate to have children if she can help it, with Wilson of all people. "I believe they are waiting for the right time. Clara is taking care of my father as well when I am not around so we depend on her and I know children would be challenging – "
"She needs to have a child soon, father or no" Catherine Gerard interrupted. "I'll discuss it with the two of them soon, Mark is not getting any younger."
I sighed and stayed quiet, imagining how to tell my sister this conversation. Poor Clara, she already dealt with so much.
Catherine Gerard put down the metal stick and started reaching for the blue ribbons to match my blue dress. "I know it is going to be a big turnout today" she mused as she started sectioning off my hair.
"Is that so?" I whispered, wishing I could speak with confidence as I did so.
"Let's say there is a certain person that they all want to see" she squealed as she shook me gently in excitement.
I felt my blood turn to ice with her statement. "Wh—What do you mean?" I inquired, still whispering.
"Oops, me and my big mouth. Don't worry sweetie. It's going to be a good day for you. And looking this pretty, you will be top choice! I think I am done!" She marveled at my hair and played with some curls as I sat frozen in the chair, unable to do anything else but shiver in fear.
"Honestly, Lissy, get over it! We have all been in this. Stop acting like you're doing this all on your own" she hissed. Nice Catherine Gerard was done and heathen Catherine Gerard was out, claws ready and her fake smiling revealing what I assumed was fangs. "Don't make me regret my kind actions, your brat of a sister never got this and look where it got her, huh!" I squirmed before standing up and facing Catherine Gerard. Even though I wanted to say something about her hurtful words, I knew she could ruin my life if she did so.
"My apologies, Mrs. Gerard. I appreciate all the work you put into my hair. It's so beautiful. I could never repay your kindness."
The smile on her face grew and she gave me a big hug. "We got a lot to look forward to sweetie. I am happy to be running the ritual and to have someone like you up there. Good luck sweetie and bless you." With a wave she turned away from me and all I could think about was my life is over.