I woke up the next morning ready, motivated and ready for the obstacles that lay before me. I was going to meet up with Aaron Gerard and make sure we will have a great marriage and relationship. I quickly changed, taking extra care in my hair, reflecting back on Catherine Gerard on how she hated it the day before, and sprinted downstairs to make a quick breakfast of porridge and then reflected back on my father's words yesterday. I physically shook off each emotional attack like a dog caught in the rain and tried to stay positive with the fact that I didn't really know Aaron Gerard and I can have him be my companion.
My father was still sleeping when I finished my half and I decided to walk around to try and find Aaron. Normally, a groom wouldn't call on a bride until their wedding a month later, but I secretly felt clever in thinking that if I accidentally ran into him, he would have to talk to me. I patted my hair, grabbed a basket, and my savings and walked out of the room, ready to face the day.
I was faced, however, with difficulties finding him. I casually walked back and forth along the square, peeked into every shop door that was open, casually looked into the windows of houses and even, to my horror now, sneaked a look into Catherine Gerard's house thinking he would be there. I kept throwing silent hissy fits every time I couldn't find him. I stomped the dirt covered ground, and kicked it in anger, I flailed and punched the air when I thought I saw him and didn't. I kept my thoughts from the day before tucked deeply away but one thought came up, which was, I didn't know this man.
After three hours of searching, I sat down in the square and contemplated my next action. I knew that I was not as nice looking as I was this morning, dust covered my dress and my hair became tangled after all my hissy fits trying to find Aaron Gerard. I nodded to passersby and tried to pat down my hair as they passed, knowing I was probably making it worse with the twitches of noses that seemed to happen more frequently as they passed. "At least I am nice enough to not judge based on appearances" I mumbled rudely to myself. I didn't need anyone's approval, but I needed to find Aaron Gerard.
Knowing I was defeated at this moment and not wanting to return to my home to my hungover father, I decided to find refuge at Abigail's little shop and check in with how she is doing. Knowing how she has been the last few months, she needs just as much support as me.
The door creaked as I entered the shop, and Abigail put on a bright smile for what she thought was a paying customer. "Just me" I said as I walked into the clothing store. I looked at the beautiful material that she was able to purchase from our one outside source and felt the smooth touch that came from it.
Abigail ran from behind her spot and ran to me to give me a big hug. I oomph as she slammed into me, but needing some kind of love, I squeezed back to return the hug.
"Lis, I am so happy for you" she whispered before letting me go. I yawned and waved away at her comment.
"Don't be happy for me, it is just how the ceremony turned out. Can we sit for a few minutes and chat or are you busy creating a new masterpiece of a dress."
Abigail's took just a second too long to reply as I realized how stupid I was to make that remark. Over a year ago, Abigail and her family were in charge of making Catherine Gerard's dress for our annual Fall Festival. The fabric she wanted, this beautiful purple with light purple elements was very desirable but Mrs. Simmons got there first, and bought out most of the fabric for her dress. When Catherine Gerard came and demanded the fabric, although Mrs. Simmons dress was already completed, purchased and sent home, she threw a tantrum in the store and demanded to get the fabric back so she can have a dress made from the beautiful cloth. Abigail's parents refused out of principle and did the worst thing you could do to yourself in this town – deny Catherine Gerard what she wanted. She never got to wear that dress, but she spoiled the reputation of the store, and has now controlled Abigail's chances at the lottery to find herself a true husband.
"I am glad at least one of us will get married," Abigail claimed as she took a seat, reaching for a needle and thread. "I think it is all over for me."
I cringed at her pessimistic words and contemplated on what I wanted to say. I was guaranteed that she was doomed, but my sister's words rang back to me about how I can help her situation and maybe, I could help Abigail. But, since I first must meet Aaron Gerard, I was not going to share this with Abigail just yet.
"Abigail, we will do what we can to make it work" I announced in a determined way. "If anything, we will have each other to rely on and help each other. I mean, I am now officially stuck with Catherine Gerard of all people. It's so bothersome to think I will have to spend all my time with the most spiteful woman in town and always pretend to like her because she is family. I do however, rely on you to help me with it."
Abigail stopped playing with the thread and stared at me with a look of determination in her eyes. She took a deep breath and put her work down.
"Lis, after what that hateful woman has done to me and my family, I don't believe we can continue our friendship if you're related to her."
I just felt the air release out of me like I was punched in the gut. Her kind but determined features remained cool as I processed what she was saying.
"But…I didn't choose this," I whispered, too stunned by her bluntness. Abigail's coolness thawed as she reached a hand towards me.
"I know Lis, I really know. I hate this more than you, and I know I should not put any blame on you. Just look at it from my point of view. Knowing what position, I am going towards and the position you will soon be in, we will have nothing left in common and my anger will only boil until one, if not both of us, will get hurt by the other. I don't ever want to think of you in a negative way when we have been so close growing up. With that being said, our lives will be changing drastically next month, and it might be best to dissolve our friendship and focus on what is in store for us in the future."
I bent my head during her speech, so she couldn't see me cry. Nodding demurely, I stood and kept my gaze on the floor as I exited the shop, trying to ignore the tears that hung to my eyelashes. I don't know how Abigail felt with me just rushing out, but I noticed she didn't try to stop me or even say goodbye as I ran to the woods to hide and cry from the misery that is now becoming my life.
As I burst towards the blurry green that I knew to be trees, I started crying earnestly over the last couple days. I did not like where my life was heading, which led to a lonely depleted one, and all I could do is was push out all my tears, so I could stop being a sniveling baby and try to fix something about my predicament.
I sat on the ground, not caring if my dress got dirtier and let the tears spill out of me before wistfully playing with the grass that I sat in. As I started braiding the grass, trying not to think about how Abigail and I used to do this when we were children, I heard some groans coming from behind me. Stilled by the sounds. I stayed frozen, wondering if the sound was human or animal. Then I heard the grunts again and I shot up, ready to flee if I felt I was in danger. Just as I was about to leave, I heard a giggle and felt my stance relax as I realized there were people in the woods just like me. I tried to shake the dirt from my dress and tried to braid my hair, but I knew I was not looking pleasant from my wild day. Wiping my face, I decided to put on a smile and say hello to the people behind me, partly because I needed companionship, but also because I didn't want to scare them when they would have trampled over me when they would start heading back into town. Putting on my Catherine Gerard smile, I trampled in the shrubbery, ready to put on the performance of my life that I am happy, joyful and ready for anything that comes my way.
I remembered a lot of these moments as snippets of my life, but what I discovered is engrained inside my mind, like a painting that you viewed thousands of times. The turning point of who I was happened by the scene laid in front of me as a man, pressed against a woman up against a maple tree, was moving rhythmically with the sounds of his grunts. The woman giggling and moaning along, her hair more disheveled than mine, while also wrapping her legs around the man's buttocks, which was bare-bottomed and flexing up against her. I never saw a scene like that before me and I felt my face heated as I just witnessed what I will be doing as a married woman with my husband. Trying to come back the way I came, I backed up slowly, so I wouldn't be caught during the middle of their lovemaking. Fate wasn't on my side that day as I tripped backwards and stumbled to the dirt, not hiding my presence whatsoever. The woman's eyes snapped open as she stared at me with shock, but it was the face that turned towards me that had my heart frozen in place. His blond hair stuck to his forehead and his labored breathing didn't make this man attractive, but I did know I will never forget the first time I would lay eyes on my betrothed, Aaron Gerard, as he made it perfectly clear how important I was to him.