I didn't want to tale long in that pharmacy store. I had a good on and a mask but some people are so good at sensing who it and according to how the cashier looked at me I was scared that she was going to rat me out. She was taking too long to give back the change and I was almost leaving it. She then handed it to me but dint let go.
"Why do you look like someone I know?" she said looking at me and I could feel sweat dropping off my back. " Shin? Are you Shin?" she asked looking at me close enough to know who I was.
"No, I'm not..." I said trying to pull the money but her grip on it was stronger.
"But why do you have his voice and his eyes huh? Why are you even wearing a hood and a mask?" she asked and I started shivering inside.
"I gave you the money but you returning it to him why?" Felix asked and she looked at him.
"Oh, sorry about that... I saw that he is the one who gave it to you... Is he Shin? Tell me?" she said acting as cute as possible.
"No, that's my boyfriend...he has a cold.... and I don't like the way you are playing with him," he said and she immediately dropped her hand from the grip. She seemed a bit scared of Felix because he was giving a cold aura.
"I'm sorry sir...." she said to us and bowed. Felix held my hand and we left the pharmacy. Once we got out, I pulled my hand off from his.
"You shouldn't say that next time you know..... it made me uncomfortable..." I said.
He didn't say anything.
"You should go home now.... thanks for helping me out," he said after a while of silence.
"What about you? Where are you going to sleep?" I asked because I was concerned about him.
"I'll just call Axel.... he has a house too... it's late go home" he said again and it hit me that maybe he didn't want me there.
"Remember you threw your phone? It's already damaged... I get that you don't want me here but you can crash at my place tonight...." I said politely. Honestly, I'm concerned about him and I don't want to leave him here because something might happen.
"No... I'll find a payphone... please go home" He said looking away. I just don't get it, was having sex with me that bad? Why doesn't he want me to help him?
"You hate me that much?" I asked but he didn't say anything. He didn't even bother to look at me. "You really hate me so much huh? why? Tell me why? Did I do something wrong? Tell me why" I said. I didn't notice how emotional I sounded and how tears were falling fast from my eyes. All I wanted now were just answers. I'm sure if this wasn't a public place I would be crying loudly or even screaming. But it hurts right? It hurts so much.
"I don't hate you... I never will... I'm just not in a good mood and I don't want to bother you with my problems" He said calmly.
"It's too late to say that don't you think so?...."I asked and he walked closer to me. So close that I had to hold my breath through the tears that were still falling. He then used his hand and slowly wiped the tears from both eyes. The more he touched me like that the more the tears continued falling. I just couldn't take it anymore.
"Look at me...I want you to have a good life... the life you deserve... I want you to be happy, very happy... I wish I could be the one to make you happy, but.... but I'm not a good person, I'm not the best person for you... Just now I'm making you cry, can I even make you happy? I wish I could be the best for you... I don't know how" he said tears forming in his eyes.
"You never know if you don't try right?" I said but he refused.
"I have nothing to give you, I can't buy you a house or a car, I'll probably be disowned one of these days" he then laughs a little. " I'm never on good terms with my father... I'm a bad son and don't know how to take responsibility... I don't want you to waste your time I'm someone like me... I have no future but you, you have a bright future waiting for you..." he said and then dries a tear that was almost falling from his eyes. He was literally pushing me away, right?
"But that's enough for me, I don't want any of those things, I have them already... I just want you to give me a chance...you are not a bad person, we can change that... please, I don't want to go home alone, do you know how much I looked for you at the party? Do you know how much I missed you? Do you know how I feel on the inside when you shut me like this? Do you know that I was hurting until I met you? You don't want to hurt me but what you are doing right now hurts so much" I couldn't control the tears anymore and now they came flooding and I could feel the mask that I was wearing soaking up.
"If you cry like that I won't be going home with you tonight..." he said. Did he just agree to come with me? But why can't I stop the tears? He opened his arms and I went for that hug. It was what I was needing.
"Just hold me like this and I'll stop crying..." I said and slowly but slowly I was able to control my tears and emotions. The hug gave me something else. Something only wanted from him and him alone.
We just got to the house about thirty minutes ago. I'm still heavy because I was emotional earlier but it was worth it. Only that, we are in separate rooms. He said it would be better if tonight he sleeps in another room, I'm okay with that as long as it's near me. Right now I'm taking a glass of water to him because he has not yet taken the medicines we bought earlier.
I assumed he was in the bathroom so I opened the door slowly. I don't know how the glass dropped to the floor and the water spilled all over but that didn't even matter. What mattered most was what I was seeing. I closed my eyes and opened them again just to confirm that I was not making up things.
"Hey, careful, don't step on glass okay," Felix said holding my hand but I couldn't even move.
"Your... Your back... It's bleeding... Why?" the whips looked like they were from hours ago.
"Don't think about it okay?" he said but there was no way I was going to stop thinking about that. I walked carefully and once I got to a safer zone with no broken glasses I walked hastily to the basket which had his clothes I took the white shirt, filled with blood, and turned to look at him.
"Can't believe I took a shower and I'm still bleeding" he said and chuckled. He thought that this was a joke but I was worried. I'm so worried. When is he gonna tell me about this?
"Don't take this as a joke... it's not okay you know?" I said and he sat on the bed, dipping his hands in his hair. I went downstairs and got a first aid kit and got hot water in a small basin. I came back and wiped his back and then did first aid. It took me longer because the whip wounds were still bleeding but not that much. Once I was done, I cleaned broken glasses and got him another glass of water to take his medicine.
"Can you sleep with me tonight?" he asked and even though I was surprised I couldn't say no. I didn't even want to say no, I wanted to be next to him all night long.
"Yeah sure," I said and got in bed. He then cuddled me and I couldn't feel anymore safer in any other arms other than this.