Getting to our dorm house, I was surprised to find Shin in the living room. I could guess that everyone was asleep right now. After Axel left, I told Shaun to take me to another place where I spent some hours thinking. I don't know why Axel's words hurt so much.
"Hey, you here... What took you so long? Are you okay? Did he scold you? Why are you sad?" He asked after rushing to me. He seemed so worried. This was good right? Atkeasthavjbg someone waiting for me at this time of the night, I feel loved.
"Why did you wait? You should take your sleep seriously you know? Remember the other time when Minjae was disturbing you while sleeping and you couldn't because of the noise he was making, you sang a song asking him to let you be right? You even vowed to hate him because he couldn't let you sleep... I don't want you to hate me" I said and I really meant it.
"I can't hate you... I was worried about you and I also felt that I should wait for you.... don't worry did it willingly." He said with a bright smile. I love it when I get to see him smile this cutely.
"Did you have anything?... I made some kimchi for you... I'm sure you love it" He said and turned to head to the kitchen.
"Shin..." I called and he turned to look at me. I walked to him and hugged him. I wanted it to be tight because it felt comfortable. At least could let out all my anger and frustration here. Shin is kind and he always listens to someone.
"Can I sleep in your room tonight?.... please?" I asked and he said yes. At least this would feel safer and I wouldn't feel alone tonight. He served the food and I didn't eat until he agreed to eat with me. I had a feeling that he had not eaten and had been waiting for me. I kept on reading him about the fact that he had so tiny fingers and yet could make delicious meals. After I was done I first even to my room, took a shower, and then changed into sleeping pajamas and went to his room. He was seated on the bed waiting for me. I got on it and sat beside him, inside the blankets.
"Evel, are you sure you are okay? I can tell even from when you entered the room that you were crying, you tend to cry in the shower, you know I'm always here for you, right? You can talk to me about anything... I will always help you" He said with meaningful eyes and tears fell from my eyes. Why was he being so nice to me when I can't even love him the way he wants?
"Talk to me, you know I like honestly most and I might be able to help you, you don't have to hide it from me..." he said again and I couldn't control myself anymore.
"I'm sorry Shin, I'm hurt... It's hurting so much inside he pushed me away today just like that... I didn't even do anything wrong, all I wanted was to talk to him but he left me, I know I made a promise that we will be a couple for the reaming days but I thought that would be the case until I saw him... I love him, Shin, I love him so much and I hate myself for that because he doesn't feel anything, he told me not to call him or text him because I'd distract him, does he see me as a bad person Shin? Am I a bad person? Is God trying to punish me because I couldn't love you the way I feel towards him? Tell me, Shin, is this how it hurts to love someone who doesn't love you back? Is this how you have been feeling all along because it hurts so much so much Shin that I don't even know what to feel inside anymore... I just feel like my heart had been broken into pieces that I can't collect... I'm not happy... Please hug me" He said and Shin hugged him. Evel was sobbing like a baby and even though it hurt him that he was crying because of someone else, that didn't stop Shin from comforting him. This time he did it without saying a word, he just let him cry because he was hurt too, and didn't know what to say. He knew if he opened his mouth to talk then he would end up screaming. at least now he understood that Evel would never love him. He understood that there was someone else who had a much higher place in his heart.
SHIN POV.
I had noticed that he was not okay but what I didn't expect was that it was because of that boy again. He must really have a special place in Evel's heart because it's my first time seeing him break down like this. I had thought that the company scolded him or something but this just proved me wrong. I'm hurt too but I don't want to show him. I'm hurt that I'm not the one he is crying for, I'm hurt that I'm the one comforting him instead of being the one he loves. I'm hurt because he is hurt too. I have to help him. I don't know how but ill have to help him. From how I know him he is going to be like this for more days if something is not done, he never gets better, he only gets worse. I held him in my hands until he fell asleep.
Once he was asleep, I laid him down slowly and made sure that he was last asleep, and then took his phone. I didn't know his password so I used his fingerprints because he was dead asleep. I went through all the contacts I found there. They were not many and I knew everyone because he had saved them with their official names and I could tell by the pictures. There was one I couldn't tell whose it was and I knew that was him. The other contacts didn't have love emojis but this one had two. Mine and for Woojin and Minjae had each one emoji and for his parents too had one emoji but this one had too then the others won't have any. His name is Axel huh? I'd never heard of that name before and it sounded unique. I added the number to my phone and texted him. At first, I had said only a plain hi, and when I didn't get a reply after
almost twenty minutes I decided to add something more.
'Hi, I'm Shin... I wanna talk to you please... don't ignore me because I'll keep on texting until you give in. ' I then sent it. I had thought that he would reply but I waited for almost an hour and I saw no reply. I wanted to call him but it was already very late at night. It would be better if I called him tomorrow. I placed my phone back and looked at Evel. He even looked troubled in his sleep. I switched off the bedside table lamps and closed my eyes to sleep.