When I woke up next, I went to Shin's room just as I'm used to but he wasn't there. He had never left his room without passing via mine. I went downstairs and found all of them having breakfast. Well, this was awkward because at normal times Shin would have woken me up even if it means that he'll pour water on me.
"Hey, you are finally here..." Kim woojin said and I smiled at him. I tried to look at Shin but he avoided me as much as possible. I couldn't even sit next to him like before because now he was seated next to Minjae. I went ahead and sat next to Woojin.
"I'm used to Shin waking me up... I didn't know today was different that's probably why I am late" I said eyeing Shin but he did not even look at me.
" I didn't want to disturb you..." He said the words with his eyes on his food. He said as if he didn't care at all. Is this how we are going to be? I feel like I am losing him already. Woojin passed me the plate and I served myself breakfast. I wasn't sure if I was going to eat as I had planned because right now my mood to eat had just ended. I looked at the food and suddenly I did not feel like eating anymore.
"I guess I'm okay... no need to have anything," I said placing back the plate with the food I had served.
"I hope you are not saying that because it's your day to wash the dishes... actually it's you and Shin, don't even try and think about bailing out," Woojin said, and that's when I realized we were the ones cleaning the dishes. This would be a perfect time for me to talk to Shin because right now I don't think ill be able to talk to him.
"No need, I'll just do it alone... I feel like playing with water today" Shin said and everyone looked at him surprised.
"Hey, can you wash for me tomorrow?... I bet you'll also feel like playing with water until then. Should I pray for it?" Minjae said holding Shin's hands and childishly shaking him so that he does it for him. Minjae has never liked anything that has to do with the kitchen so I'm not surprised by him at all.
"I also wanna play with water..." I said and Shin looked at me. I was not going to let him win by avoiding me. We needed to talk and I don't like the awkwardness between us at all. I wanted it to end so that we go back to normal just like how we have always been.
I waited for them to finish their meals and started clearing the table. Minjae and Woojin went to their rooms. I had heard them talking about surprising the Angels with a live and I'm sure that's what they had gone to do. They seemed so happy and had said that they had many things to share with the angels because they hadn't talked to them for a long time. We had been left the two of us downstairs. Shin was still trying to avoid me because he did not even bother to look at me. We cleared the table in an awkward silence that I would consider boring. I've never been in this kind of situation with him. It felt like we were fighting. The last time I fought with him was over food and it was more of a play than a fight but right now I guess we were.
"Hey, can we talk?..." I asked calmly looking at him. We were now in the kitchen and he was washing the dishes.
"We are here to work and not talk..." he said with his eyes fixed on the plate he was washing.
"Please can we stop this? I don't like what's happening, I feel bad about it and what makes it worse is that you are avoiding me! It feels so bad Shin. Tell me what do I have to do so that we go back to normal? Haven't you had enough? Don't you feel bad at all that we are acting like strangers? It feels like you don't want me in your life at all Shin, it's making me sick and I can't handle it. Do you want me to kneel and apologize? Fine, I'll do that if it means you'll forgive me, I just want us to be okay, I want us to be normal, please" I said kneeling down. I don't even know how I ended up crying but I just felt like it was getting heavy inside and I needed to let it out. I wasn't faking it because it felt so bad that he was avoiding me.
"Stop it you don't have to kneel... wake up please, I don't want you to kneel for me" he was still not looking at me but his voice was shaky and he was crying too. I got up immediately and hugged his back. So tightly that I didn't want to let go. I could hear his low sobs that he was trying so hard to make them soundless.
"How will I ever get over you if you keep on hugging me like that? How am I supposed to get over you when I see you every day? I wish I could have you to myself only and it hurts so much that it will never happen. It hurts so much that we are disbanding because the contract has come to an end and I won't be able to see you every day, wake you up in the morning even play with you...I wasn't so worried before because that day before I saw you with him, I was planning to tell you how I feel about you... I was sure that if there was no one else then you'd give me a chance and that way I would stay with you... I wouldn't have to worry about not seeing you but right now, right now it feels like once we have disbanded I won't have any right to that. I won't be able to see you as many times as I want and I won't be the one waking you up anymore... I feel so bad Evel, it hurts so much you know, I wish that I'm still dreaming but it's the reality Evel, what do I do" he said and sobbed even more.
"Hey, don't think too much about it, at least right now I'm here, don't you think you should take advantage of the fact that I'm still here instead of trying to avoid me? We should use this time well and play all the games you wanna play with me" I said still hugging him.
"It's not just games that I want to play with you..." he said and I understood what he meant. I turned him to face me and I dried his tears.
"What if we date for the remaining days? We could pretend that we are couples in love if that's what you want... but I don't think it's a good idea because it's a risk. You might fall harder" I said jokingly and at least I saw him smile.
"It's better half bread than non right?... You've said I should take advantage of the fact that you are still here right?" He asked and I nodded. If that made him happy I don't see any reason for not to try with him. It's not like I'm dating anyone right? If only I'm able to explain the joy in his eyes. He was so happy that he even shed tears. He then engulfed me in a warm hug and I hugged him back.
"Thank you so much... I promise after that I'll willingly let you go" he said and I patted him. I could feel that he was about to cry and I immediately broke the hug and pecked him. Not just anywhere but on his lips. He was startled and took a minute to process what had just happened. He then got shy and looked away.
"I'm just trying to do what lovers do... Isn't that what they do?" I asked and he go shy even more. I'm sure this is not the right thing to do but for him, I was willing to do anything. He means so much more to me than he thinks and I wasn't going to take the risk of losing him. Even if I don't feel the same way as he does, I was willing to give it a try. Who knows maybe he is the one. We might even end up being a real-life couple right? I've seen so many videos of people choosing between saving a friend and having a meal with him and all of them have chosen to have a meal with him. Doesn't that mean he is perfect? I don't have to think about Axel right now all I have to do is make Shin happy for the remaining days. If it's about Axel it can come later, he isn't even interested in me so I won't even bother him for now.