I kept glancing at the clock waiting for it to strike the time that we had agreed. Ethan was never late and I was sure he was not about to start at that moment. The clock seemed to be moving slower than normal for the day. Yeah sure I had just gotten to the office, but in real reason and regard I was done with all I had to do for the day in less than fifteen minutes. All that was left was waiting for the meeting that was meant to be there in a couple of hours, as well as my rendezvous with him. I picked up my phone and texted my fiancé letting him know that I would be busy for the rest of the day with meetings of course. I had learnt how to be elusive of him since I met Ethan. The time we had agreed on meeting came, eleven forty-five on the dot. I immediately had my eyes set on my phone waiting for him to call. He didn't, and slowly by slowly the clock hit eleven forty-seven.
"Bet today he's not as much on time as you claim he is." My colleague mocked but even before I could respond, to my sheer joy, my phone vibrated, rather loudly on my desk. A small triumphant smile came over my lips as I turned my phone so she could read the caller ID. He had called. Even if two minutes late, he had still called and to me that was all that mattered.
"Hi," I answered trying to keep the excitement from my voice but I could bet he heard it.
"Hey baby girl, wanted to let you know that I am on my way to our meeting point. Are you still okay with meeting?" he sounded just as his normal usual self, nonchalant, as if I did not affect him in any way. I rather knew that this was just a deviation from his true self. The self that had instigated this meeting after our breakup.
"As long as it doesn't exceed past one in the afternoon." My feeble attempt at maintaining the strong girl persona didn't go unnoticed by my colleague who rolled her eyes with a smile. He laughed a little before whispering good and then hanging up. Seems it didn't go unnoticed to him as well. I quickly rummaged through my bag and fished out my small bag of toiletries and cosmetics.
Rushing out to the private washroom assigned to our floor, I tried to take as little time as possible refreshing. A new coat of lipstick, a bit of perfume and powder worked miracles on my face as well as my nerves. I walked out feeling a little more confident than I had been. The feeling was short lived however as I tripped over my own feet and broke the heel of my left shoe. So much for being in a position to at least get a head taller than normal. I felt frustrated as I limped my way to the office to change into my doll shoes. I felt like the day was turning out to be worse.
I was a bit careful crossing the road as the last time I had crossed at the same area, I almost broke a leg. I smiled at the memory before walking through the small gate. I made my way around to the front entrance all while my mind was running through different scenarios on how this conversation could go. I anticipated that things could grow worse or better. We were already walking on eggshells around each other. Having this meet up could cause our situation ship to capsize. I took the elevator all while trying to school my features to stop myself from looking too eager to meet him.
I was a bit confused as I found the door to the specific part of the restaurant that we were meeting in closed. Questions plagued my mind for a while as I tried to figure out why he would have me head to a place that wasn't open but it only took a few moments for me to realize my stupidity. I could just pull the door open. I laughed a little before I let myself in.
Sitting at a corner with his eyes trained on his phone was he. His face was still as handsome as I remembered and the suit did wonders to his lean form. I drooled a little taking in all the glory of his beauty before he turned to notice me. The smile he had on his face did not make the matter better. If anything it sent a jolt right through my spine and a dull ache thumped in my chest. I couldn't have him. I swallowed and plastered on a smile before walking calmly towards him. He stood up and hugged me before ushering me to my seat.
I could still smell his perfume and it was beginning to cloud my judgement but I did not let it phase me. For the first time I really wanted to keep up the strong girl façade. We talked shifting from one topic to another and not surprisingly, we avoided the topic surrounding our "breakup" altogether.
"So why lemons?" He asked.
I had always been fond of lemons partially because he was also a supplier of the same on a large scale. I looked at him. I did not have a perfect response as to why. I had nagged him for weeks on end about bringing me lemons and now that he wanted to comply I just didn't know what to say. The nagging was mainly because I wanted to see him and keep contact with him. I did not need the lemons. Even if I did I had a lemon plant growing right outside of my house and it was already bearing fruit. In this moment, I decided to rely on my skills.
"Because somehow I find comfort in the sourness. There's just something bittersweet about it." I spoke.
"Bitter sweet huh?!" He more of stated than asked.
***
We walked down the sandy shore hand in hand. The waves crashing from a distance and the tide that kept brushing over our bare feet was the only thing that served to remind me that this was real. He had brought me out here to help me forget everything and I was grateful for it. The silence between us was comfortable and it served to help me appreciate the little sounds of nature around us. This was surreal, well at least until I remembered walking down the same sandy shores with Delvin. Somehow everything around me served to remind me of my late husband. I doubt I could even eat in peace. I swallowed the lump of emotion that was forming in my throat determined to enjoy the moment, the sacrifice Ethan had made for me. We walked for a short while before he abruptly stopped walking and pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Baby girl?" He called and I immediately knew what he was asking.
I could have sworn that I had masked my emotions the best. Having a career like mine meant you learnt how to have a poker face that couldn't crack but when I was with this man it was as if I was an open book. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn he had psychic abilities but I knew he did not. He was just an observant person who could sense even when the hairs on skin stood. I refused to look up into his captivating eyes knowing fully well that he would see the depth of my sadness and maybe, just maybe, he would let me wallow in it. I couldn't forgive myself if that happened.
"Emily, I called your name." His voice was soft but I could hear the command lying underneath it. I slowly found myself complying and looking into his eyes. I cautioned my mouth to hold it in and not say a word but somehow around him I had no control over my own body.
"Lemons," I blurted out. I could feel the heat on my cheeks after the saying the words. I thanked myself that at least I had the sense use a code word hoping that he wouldn't understand it and would just disregard it as me trying to be funny or suggesting something. I let my eyes fall from his and focus on the sand beneath our feet. I was so dumb. If there was ever a book on how to be a dummy, then I'd be a star. I waited with my eyes averted for him nudge us into a walk again but that didn't happen. It was only few seconds but it felt like hours to me before he placed his hand on my chin and lifted it until I raised my eyes to meet his.
"Bitter sweet huh?" he asked tenderly his eyes swirling with emotion.
I nodded as I felt tears brim my eyes. Damn it was I emotional. I hated it when he saw me as a broken person. I always wanted to appear strong to him. I felt like my weakness would send him away but I dared not mention it. I closed my eyes hoping to stop the tears but that caused them to drop and roll over my cheeks. Damn it. I felt his fingers leave my chin and then trace my cheeks slowly. I did not open my eyes in fear that I might cry a little more if I did. Warm lips were placed on mine in a soft and slow kiss. I felt cared for.
"It's okay baby girl. We will find a remedy for that." He whispered in my ear and I instinctively wrapped my hands around him barely opening my eyes.
The comfort of his arms was welcome and for what felt like the first time in eternity I did not end up crying while he held me. Instead I felt comforted. It gave me hope that someday when I saw things that reminded me of him I would not burst into uncontrollable sobs. I was also sure of one thig, with Ethan around I would heal much faster. I couldn't tell how long we remained relishing each other's arms for but it was getting dark when we let go and the tide was getting stronger. I could feel it's tempting pull but he kept us both grounded. We broke apart from each other and started walking away from the water in the direction we had come from. Somehow being in his arms had created a different kind of atmosphere for me. I almost felt as though something had changed in that beach.
Not far from the water we found a small hidden nook that I hadn't noticed when we passed by earlier. It was barely noticeable though and the only thing that made me notice it was the two small lanterns that were now illuminating a romantic dinner picnic set up. I felt a fond smile sip into my face before I realized that could be this was not meant for me and tried to hide it away. Somehow however the love that the setup had been made with just made me smile. It was small things like those that touched me deeply.
My excitement grew when Ethan started guiding me towards the nook. Each step I took just made my heart swell with pride and joy at the extents to which this man had decided to go for me. I noticed now that there were four lanterns on each corner of the big bubble tent. Throw pillows were set up on one corner with a small mattress that had white sheets on it. On the other corner was small table littered with covered platters as well as two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. I felt a sensation of joy burst inside me and pure euphoria flooded me. As we on the carpeted ground to dine, he turned to me and gave me a small kiss on the forehead.
"Let's put sweet on the bitter shall we?" He said playfully uncovering the meal before us.
Different types of fruits as well as meats were served to us. That did not stand out more than the fact that he had decided to get my favorite dish, as well as the lemons I had always asked for, for me. They were peeled and diced and dipped in sugar just as I liked them. I turned to face him. He still had his glasses on him. The man was almost blind as a bat without them but for the day I just wanted to look into his dark calculative eyes. I whispered thankyou before slowly taking off his glasses and kissing the bridge of his nose. Suddenly the food did not feel as much of a priority anymore.
I let myself slide over his stretched out feet and sit on his lap. In that moment it did not occur to me that I was a bit on the heavier side of the scale and neither did it to him. I made sure to maintain a close as possible distance between us to ensure that he could still clearly see my eyes. I wanted him to be able to read the words that I couldn't say. I felt his arms come around my body and I knew what would come next. I was sensible enough to put the glasses on the table before we both lost our minds. I could feel the air around us get charged heavily. I let my forehead rest on his while his hands caressed my back lazily.
"Had I known lemons would bring me such luck I would have brought them yester night." He whispered jokingly. I smiled and somehow managed to let out a small laugh. I was already holding on to every shred of self-control that I had left to not tear off his clothes.
"I think the transparent tent helps as well," I whispered back but the last part of that statement got sucked into his mouth as he planted a searing kiss on my lips and knocked the air out of me. I had been thinking about how people could see us but in that moment it all faded from my mind. He was the only thing that I could see, feel or hear. Nothing else existed in this moment except him and the sensation he was making me feel.
"You little temptress," He stopped kissing me just long enough to tell me that before going back to it. Somehow I felt like I needed air but I needed his lips more. The feeling of light headedness washed over me but I couldn't bring myself to deny myself of what I had been in dire need of, him. He pulled back however and I almost whimpered at the lack of him. He chuckled softly noticing it and making me blush and hide my face in his neck.
"You have me to yourself all night baby girl. But for now you need food." He whispered. At that moment I felt my stomach constrict painfully at the remembrance of a meal. Damn him and his psychic abilities. Above all damn his control. He just had to stop when I was at the very verge. I felt disappointed in the moment but the pain in my stomach reminded me why we needed food first. I picked his glasses and put them on him.
"One condition." I said to which he nodded with curiosity.
"You get to feed me my bitter sweet snacks first."