As the weeks passed, Eli and Sophie settled into a rhythm. Their time together was filled with quiet dinners, long walks, and late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours. But even as they grew closer, Eli couldn't shake the feeling that Sophie was still holding something back.
It wasn't intentional, they were sure of that. Sophie wasn't hiding anything maliciously, but there were moments when Eli could see the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, the way she hesitated before opening up about certain parts of her life.
One evening, after a particularly long day, Eli found themselves lying in bed, their mind racing with thoughts they couldn't suppress. They had been patient, giving Sophie the space she needed, but it was becoming increasingly clear that there was a part of her that she wasn't ready to share. And Eli wasn't sure how much longer they could wait in the dark.
The next morning, Eli decided to bring it up. They met Sophie for breakfast at their favorite café, the one where everything had started. It felt fitting, somehow, to have this conversation in a place that held so much history between them.
As they sipped their coffee and talked about their plans for the day, Eli felt the tension building in their chest. They didn't want to push Sophie, but they also couldn't ignore the growing distance that had begun to creep into their relationship.
"Sophie," Eli began, their voice hesitant. "Can we talk about something?"
Sophie looked up from her cup, her eyes instantly focused on Eli. "Of course. What's on your mind?"
Eli took a deep breath, trying to gather their thoughts. "I just… I feel like there's still something you're not telling me. I know this is all new and scary for you, but I want us to be able to talk about everything. Even the hard stuff."
Sophie's expression shifted, her face growing more guarded. She set her coffee cup down, folding her hands in her lap. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know you've been through a lot," Eli said gently. "And I don't expect you to tell me everything right away. But I can feel that there's something you're holding back. Something that's keeping you from fully letting me in."
Sophie's gaze dropped to the table, her fingers playing with the edge of her napkin. For a long moment, she didn't say anything, and Eli began to wonder if they had pushed too hard.
But then, Sophie spoke, her voice low and strained. "There is something. Something I haven't told you."
Eli felt a rush of anxiety, their mind racing through all the possibilities. What could it be? Something from her past? Another person? The uncertainty gnawed at them, but they forced themselves to stay calm.
Sophie took a deep breath before continuing. "Remember when I told you about the woman I was in love with? The one I left behind?"
Eli nodded, their heart pounding in their chest. Sophie had shared bits and pieces of that story before, but she had never gone into much detail.
"Well, what I didn't tell you was… I didn't just leave her because of my career," Sophie said, her voice trembling slightly. "I left because I was scared. Scared of what it meant to love someone like that, so deeply, and scared of what I might lose in the process."
Eli's chest tightened. "What do you mean?"
Sophie's eyes met Eli's, filled with a vulnerability that took Eli by surprise. "I was scared because she wanted more than I could give. She wanted a life together commitment, a future. And I panicked. I wasn't ready for that, so I ran."
Eli felt a wave of understanding wash over them. This was the root of Sophie's fear, the reason she had been holding back. She was terrified of making the same mistake again, of running when things got too real.
"And now you're scared the same thing will happen with us," Eli said softly.
Sophie nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I don't want to run from you, Eli. I don't. But every time I start to feel like this is real, like it's something that could last, I get scared. What if I'm not ready? What if I hurt you like I hurt her?"
Eli reached across the table, taking Sophie's hand in theirs. "I'm not asking you to be perfect, or to have all the answers right now. I just want you to be honest with me. If you're scared, tell me. If you're unsure, tell me. But don't shut me out."
Sophie's grip tightened around Eli's hand, her shoulders shaking slightly as she fought to keep her emotions in check. "I'm trying, Eli. I really am."
"I know you are," Eli said, their voice filled with warmth. "And I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
Sophie let out a shaky breath, and for the first time in what felt like weeks, Eli saw the walls between them start to crumble. Sophie wasn't going to run. Not this time.
---
That night, as they lay in bed together, Sophie rested her head on Eli's chest, her breathing slow and steady. The weight of the conversation still hung in the air, but it felt lighter now, like a burden that had finally been shared.
Eli stroked Sophie's hair, feeling the rise and fall of her breath against them. They didn't know what the future held, but for the first time, they felt like they were truly in this together. Sophie wasn't running, and neither were they.
The fragility was still there, but so was the possibility of something real something worth fighting for.
In the weeks that followed, Sophie and Eli's relationship settled into a new rhythm, one built on honesty and an openness that hadn't been there before. Sophie still struggled with her fears, but she didn't hide them from Eli anymore. When she felt herself pulling back, she voiced it, and Eli, patient as ever, stayed by her side, reminding her that they were in this together.
But while things between them seemed to be on the mend, cracks in the surface of their new beginning started to show.
It began with small things. Sophie's texts became less frequent, their conversations a little shorter. She began canceling plans last minute, citing exhaustion or sudden work emergencies. Eli tried to give her space, knowing how important it was for Sophie to handle her fears in her own time, but the worry gnawed at them. Was Sophie slipping away again?
Mae noticed the change in Eli almost immediately. During their weekly art sessions, Eli was more distracted, their sketches disjointed and less focused than usual.
"Okay, spill," Mae said one evening as they sat side by side in Eli's apartment, sketchpads in hand.
Eli glanced up from their half-finished drawing, brows furrowing. "What?"
"You're not here," Mae said pointedly, setting her pencil down. "And I'm guessing it has something to do with Sophie."
Eli sighed, running a hand through their hair. "I don't know. Things were going well, or at least I thought they were. But lately, she's been pulling back again. I'm trying not to push, but it feels like we're back where we started."
Mae leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. "And have you asked her what's going on?"
Eli hesitated. "Not really. I don't want to seem like I'm being too needy or making her feel pressured."
Mae raised an eyebrow. "Needy? Eli, you have every right to ask for clarity in your relationship. If she's pulling back, there's probably a reason, and you deserve to know what that is. This isn't all on her terms."
Eli bit their lip, Mae's words hitting closer to home than they wanted to admit. They had been so focused on giving Sophie the space she needed that they hadn't stopped to think about what *they* needed.
"You're right," Eli said quietly. "I can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not."
---
A few days later, Eli decided it was time to talk to Sophie. They had planned to meet at a quiet restaurant after Sophie finished work, but when Eli arrived, Sophie was already seated, staring down at her phone with a furrowed brow. She looked tired, worn out, as if the weight of something unseen was pressing on her.
"Hey," Eli said softly as they slid into the seat across from her.
Sophie looked up, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Hey. Sorry, work's been a lot lately."
Eli nodded, though they could feel the tension between them. "I get that, but… I think we need to talk."
Sophie's smile faltered, and she set her phone aside, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of the napkin in her lap. "I know," she said quietly. "I've been distant."
Eli appreciated that she wasn't going to deny it, but they needed more than an acknowledgment. "Is something wrong?" Eli asked gently. "I know you've been trying, and I don't want to push you, but it feels like we're slipping back into the same pattern."
Sophie sighed, running a hand through her hair. "It's not you, Eli. I promise. I'm just… I've been overwhelmed. With work, with everything. And honestly, I'm still trying to figure out how to balance all of this. Us. My life."
Eli's chest tightened at her words, but they tried to remain calm. "I get that you're figuring things out, Sophie, but I need to know where we stand. I need to know if you're still in this."
Sophie looked at them, her eyes filled with a sadness that Eli hadn't seen before. "I am," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I want to be. But I'm scared that I'm not enough. That I'll keep disappointing you."
Eli reached across the table, taking Sophie's hand in theirs. "I'm not asking for you to be perfect. I'm just asking for you to be honest with me. If you're feeling overwhelmed, tell me. If you need space, tell me. But I can't keep guessing."
Sophie's eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she squeezed Eli's hand tightly. "I don't want to lose you," she said softly. "But sometimes, I feel like I'm losing myself in all of this. And I don't know how to fix that."
Eli's heart ached at her words. They wanted to reach out and hold Sophie, to tell her that everything would be okay, but they knew that this wasn't something they could fix for her. Sophie had to find her own way through it.
"I don't want you to lose yourself," Eli said gently. "But we have to find a way to be in this together, where we both feel secure. If that means slowing down, or even stepping back, we can figure it out. But we can't keep going like this."
Sophie nodded, her eyes downcast. "You're right. I've been trying to pretend like I can handle everything, but I can't. I need to figure out what I want what I'm ready for."
The words hit Eli like a punch to the gut, but they kept their expression steady. "Do you think that means taking a break?"
Sophie hesitated, the question hanging heavy in the air. "I don't know," she said finally. "I don't want to take a break. But I also don't want to hurt you by not being fully present."
Eli swallowed the lump in their throat. "Sophie, I care about you. I'm willing to be patient, but I also need to know that this is something you truly want. If you need time, I'll give it to you. But I can't be the only one holding us together."
Sophie's eyes filled with tears, and for a moment, Eli thought she might cry. But she blinked them away, her expression hardening slightly. "I need time," she said quietly. "I need to figure out if I can do this if I'm ready to be in something real."
Eli's heart sank, but they nodded, forcing themselves to accept the reality of her words. "Okay," they said, their voice steady despite the storm brewing inside them. "Take the time you need."
Sophie squeezed their hand one last time before letting go, and the loss of that small contact felt like the breaking of something much larger.
---
The days that followed were some of the hardest Eli had experienced. Sophie hadn't explicitly said they were on a break, but her absence was palpable. The texts and calls that had once been a constant part of Eli's day had dwindled to nothing, and the silence left Eli feeling adrift.
Mae, ever the protective friend, was quick to notice Eli's change in demeanor. "You've been quiet," she commented one afternoon as they sat together in their favorite coffee shop.
"I'm just… giving her space," Eli said, though even to their own ears, it sounded like an excuse.
Mae frowned. "And what about you? Are you getting what you need?"
Eli didn't answer, because the truth was, they didn't know what they needed anymore. They had been so focused on Sophie, on trying to be patient and understanding, that they had lost sight of their own wants and desires.
"I don't know," Eli admitted finally. "I just want her to be okay."
Mae softened, reaching across the table to place a hand on Eli's arm. "I know you care about her. But you deserve to be okay too."
Eli nodded, feeling the weight of those words settle over them. They had been waiting for Sophie to figure things out, but maybe it was time to start thinking about what they needed. Because as much as they wanted to be with Sophie, they couldn't keep losing themselves in the process.
---
The silence between them stretched on for weeks, and Eli began to wonder if this was it if Sophie had quietly walked away without ever really saying goodbye. It hurt, more than Eli wanted to admit, but they also knew that waiting forever wasn't an option.
One evening, just as Eli was beginning to accept that maybe this was the end, they received a message from Sophie. It was short, just a few words, but it sent Eli's heart racing all the same.
Can we talk?