Chereads / Front desk letters / Chapter 27 -  The Weight of Old Ghosts

Chapter 27 -  The Weight of Old Ghosts

For the next few weeks, things between Sophie and Eli seemed to settle into a rhythm one that felt comfortable, but still carried an undercurrent of fragility. They spent more time together, taking slow walks, sharing meals, and quietly rediscovering the comfort of each other's presence. It wasn't perfect, but it was progress. Every conversation, every touch, felt like a small step forward.

But beneath that fragile peace, there was an unspoken truth Sophie was still haunted by her past.

As much as she tried to stay present with Eli, Sophie couldn't shake the feeling that she was still running from something. And that something had a name: Anna.

---

One afternoon, Eli and Sophie were lounging in the park, watching the autumn leaves fall around them. Sophie rested her head in Eli's lap as they absently played with strands of her hair. The moment was peaceful, almost idyllic, but Sophie's mind was somewhere else.

Eli had noticed Sophie's distraction over the past few days, but they didn't push. They had promised themselves to give Sophie space to work through her thoughts, even if it made them anxious. But today, Eli decided it was time to address the silence.

"Hey," Eli said softly, their fingers still tangled in Sophie's hair. "You've been quiet lately. Everything okay?"

Sophie blinked, her gaze focused on a distant point in the sky. She didn't answer right away, and Eli's chest tightened in the silence.

After a long pause, Sophie finally spoke. "I've been thinking about Anna."

Eli's heart skipped a beat. They had known this conversation was coming, but hearing Sophie say it out loud still sent a pang of worry through them.

Sophie sat up slowly, turning to face Eli, her expression conflicted. "I thought I was done with all of it. With her. But she's still there, in the back of my mind, and I don't know how to move forward without facing what happened."

Eli took a deep breath, their eyes searching Sophie's. "Do you want to talk to her?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with implications. Sophie's eyes widened, as if the thought hadn't fully occurred to her before now. She hadn't allowed herself to consider it. Anna was a closed chapter, or at least that's what she had told herself. But now, with Eli sitting beside her, offering understanding instead of judgment, Sophie realized that maybe she did need to talk to Anna.

"I don't know," Sophie said quietly, her fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of her jacket. "I think I do. But I'm scared. What if talking to her brings everything back? What if it messes up what we have?"

Eli's heart softened. They understood Sophie's fear it was valid, but Eli also knew that healing sometimes meant confronting the things that scared you the most.

"I'm not afraid of her," Eli said gently, taking Sophie's hand in theirs. "If talking to Anna helps you find closure, then I think you should do it. You need to let go of whatever's still haunting you, and if that means facing her, I'll be here when you're ready."

Sophie's eyes filled with emotion, gratitude and fear swirling together. She squeezed Eli's hand tightly, as if anchoring herself to the one thing that felt certain in her life right now.

"I don't deserve you," Sophie whispered, her voice cracking.

Eli smiled softly. "Yes, you do."

---

The decision to reach out to Anna weighed on Sophie for days. She wrestled with the idea of opening old wounds, unsure of what she would say or what she even wanted from the conversation. But Eli was right Sophie couldn't move forward while still holding on to pieces of her past.

So, one evening, after pacing her apartment for what felt like hours, Sophie pulled out her phone and typed Anna's number. It had been over a year since they had last spoken, but Sophie had never been able to bring herself to delete the contact.

Her hands trembled as she composed the message.

Sophie: Hey, Anna. It's been a while. I've been thinking about you. Do you think we could meet? There's something I'd like to talk about.*

The message hovered on the screen, Sophie's finger poised over the send button. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed send before she could second-guess herself. The moment it was done, a wave of anxiety washed over her. What if Anna didn't respond? Or worse what if she did?

The next hour felt like an eternity. Sophie sat on the edge of her couch, staring at her phone, willing it to light up with a response. But as the minutes ticked by, doubt crept in. Maybe Anna wouldn't answer. Maybe she had moved on, forgotten Sophie completely.

But then, just as Sophie was about to give up, her phone buzzed.

Anna: Sophie. Wow, I wasn't expecting to hear from you. Sure, we can meet. When and where?

Sophie's stomach lurched, her hands trembling as she typed back a reply, agreeing to meet at a quiet café downtown the following evening.

The rest of the day passed in a haze. Sophie's mind was consumed with thoughts of Anna what she would say, how she would feel seeing her again after all this time. And more than anything, how this conversation might change things with Eli. But there was no turning back now. She had made the choice to face her past, and she had to see it through.

---

The next evening, Sophie stood outside the café, her heart pounding in her chest. She hadn't seen Anna in over a year, and the thought of facing her now felt surreal. Sophie took a deep breath, steeling herself before pushing open the door and stepping inside.

Anna was already there, sitting at a corner table by the window. She looked the same her short, cropped hair, her sharp eyes, the same confident air that Sophie had always admired. But there was something different, too. A feeling that hadn't been there before.

Sophie approached the table, her nerves threatening to get the better of her. When Anna looked up and met her gaze, Sophie felt a jolt of familiarity, mixed with a bittersweet pang of loss.

"Sophie," Anna said, her voice warm but cautious. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Sophie replied, sliding into the seat across from her. "Thanks for meeting me."

Anna smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I was surprised to hear from you. I wasn't sure we'd ever talk again."

Sophie nodded, feeling the weight of those words. "Yeah, I wasn't sure either. But there are things I need to say. Things I didn't say before."

Anna leaned back in her chair, her expression unreadable. "I'm listening."

Sophie took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "I've been thinking about how things ended between us. I wasn't honest with you. I wasn't honest with myself, either. And I'm sorry for that. I hurt you because I was too scared to deal with my own stuff, and you didn't deserve that."

Anna's expression softened, and she nodded slowly. "I appreciate you saying that. It wasn't easy, the way things ended. But I knew you were struggling. I just didn't know how to help."

Sophie swallowed hard, her throat tight with emotion. "I didn't know how to let you help. I thought that running was the answer, that I could figure things out on my own. But all I did was hurt both of us."

Anna was quiet for a moment, her eyes searching Sophie's. "Is that why you reached out? For closure?"

Sophie hesitated, unsure how to answer. "Yes… and no. I needed to face this, to face you, because I've been carrying it with me. But I also needed to apologize. You deserved better than the way I left things."

Anna smiled sadly, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee cup. "I've moved on, Sophie. But I won't lie what we had was real for me. And it hurt when you left."

Sophie's chest tightened, guilt washing over her. "It was real for me too. I just… wasn't ready for it."

"I know," Anna said softly. "But it sounds like you're in a better place now."

Sophie nodded, though she wasn't entirely sure if that was true. "I'm trying. I'm with someone now. Someone who makes me want to be better."

Anna smiled again, this time with genuine warmth. "Good. You deserve that."

Sophie felt a surge of gratitude, mixed with sadness. This was what she had needed a chance to close the chapter, to finally let go of the guilt and the regret that had been weighing her down.

They talked for a little while longer, reminiscing about old memories, sharing pieces of their lives that had been left untold. When they finally said goodbye, it was with a sense of peace, a quiet understanding that they had both grown, both moved on.

As Sophie walked out of the café and into the cool night air, she felt lighter. The ghosts of her past weren't completely gone, but they were quieter now. And as she pulled out her phone to text Eli, she realized that maybe, just maybe, she was ready to stop running.