~
Recap;
He then proceeded to call out Samson's name saying 'bed' and although I had never seen Samson do this or respond to my bed command as many times I have tried, he did respond to Caidens one word command.
I felt Samson go on the side that Caiden wasn't and try to support my weight by staying against me, all the while going up the stairs and around corners.
Caiden placed me on the bed once we got up to the attic and I felt Samson snuggle up against me, whining for a second before softly settling beside me and lulling me into a deep sleep.
~
Chapter Nine
I woke up to a pounding headache and struggled to even open my eyes.
I had woken up from a sudden thud down the hall and the slight thump in the floorboard along with a stereo system turned up really loud kept me from going back to sleep.
I clench my eyes tighter hoping but failing to drown out the noise and turn my head to the side exasperated.
Samson lay next to me still, sound asleep, I look up and see a tall glass of water standing on my bedside table, a bottle of wine, and four ibuprofen.
I smile and sent a brief silent thank you to whoever did this, reaching over grabbing both the ibuprofen and water, throwing both back quickly, and gulping the water down like I hadn't had a drink in a long time.
Samson stirs beside me but doesn't wake up, choosing to move slightly and then go back to deep sleep.
I glance up at the wine bottle resting on the stand beside my bed and groan, already knowing it was a bad decision, but therefore doing it anyway. I reach over, pop the top and gulp half of the bottle down before giving pause to breathe.
I feel warmth instantly zing to my face and made the hangover I was feeling a little better.
My mind was reeling from yesterday and last night. My memory was a little foggy, but I remember getting to the summer getaway cabin and regretting it instantly.
Caiden is here, as the lucky bachelor that gets to marry my best friend.
My heart thuds in my chest and I know once I go down this road, I can't recover. I won't recover.
I made out and almost climaxed up against Caiden, completely drunk out of my mind and reeling from the shock of everything.
My face screwed up and an ugly sob came tumbling out of my mouth, a cry of desperation and insanity, I was lost.
I didn't know what to do.
My heart ached to be around Caiden, know everything about him, and feel his touch again. But my best friend was head over heels for him and in two months' time, they will be hitched. We had a one-night stand, Caiden and I. We stand nowhere.
I know mostly the basics about him, but to go day by day, knowing all the ins and outs of him, both emotionally and physically, was something I yearned for.
I wanted him, that was plain and simple.
But my heart also ached because of the friendship I am risking if I continued down this path of wanton deceit and lust.
'Yes' My inner voice screamed at me.
Well, my body and heart are screaming at me, but my mind, the only thing being rational at the moment was screaming at me to pack my bags, take Samson and flee. Run before I screw everything up.
But even as that thought made me run wild, I couldn't physically throw my legs over the bed to pack or run away. I couldn't.
I kept a wall hidden, kept myself closed. Until I saw Caiden and it was like my heart was sad inside and he was the one to make it better, but it was more than just him making me feel better. The urge to wrap my arms around him when he frowns or kiss him whenever I could be strong and I knew that wouldn't go away simply by running away.
It wasn't going to go away period, but I was not going to run from my problem. I could never run from my problems, I would always choose to beat them head-on because I never wanted to be paranoid always having to look over my shoulder.
So, I won't run.
We have a connection, no longer had as now I know he didn't want our thing to become bigger, longer and possibly serious.
'But that's now Marley.' My mind reminded me.
'She's always had any guy she's ever wanted!' My jealous and greedy thoughts interject and seethe at me.
It was true, with Marley's bouncing blonde curls, bright big doe eyes that are a haunting shade of blue, and her bright pink and perfectly white teethed smile always got her the men she wanted.
Granted she was picky when it came to men but when she wanted a specific man, she always got the one she wanted.
If one would be interested in me, she would interject and put the spotlight on her. I've never blamed her, she grew up with her father boasting about her, showing off her beauty, and a mother who carried her around everywhere from when she was little all the way to her late teens to boasting about her beauty.
I felt worse because of the way her parents always treated her than the fact she was throwing herself at every guy she wanted. I never not once chose those men over her anyway, I always turned my back on every guy and basically threw them at her to not risk losing our friendship.
She was a really important person to me.
'But is it worth hurting forever over?' My inner voice told me, the jealous and heartbroken one.
'Love will fade, it won't always burn so bright, it won't hurt forever, you're being way too melodramatic.' I chastise my jealous-infested inner voice.
'Why does she get to choose this time? Caiden wants you as well, he could be yours.' My inner demon voice, we'll just call her that as she seems to be the complete opposite of the voice of reason.
But my inner demon had a point, why does Marley get to choose this time?
And that made me halt all the guilty thoughts I was thinking and instead think of the opposite.
Caiden has said he wanted more than a one-night stand. Meaning he wants this to become something serious, possibly life serious. And as much as I told myself I didn't the prospect of thinking ahead to being on little movie dates and little moments to look back on laugh and cry and know we made it through life together, I did want that.
But at the cost of what, my lifelong friendship I've had with Marley.
I've kept out of her way, let her have all the men in our life, I never wanted to overstep our boundaries, never had an interest in anyone to push and shove.
So why does the thought of Marley being in the arms of Caiden turn my stomach to knots? Why does my heart crumble in my chest whenever I see them locked in each other's arms?
Which is very frequent.
What is it about this man that makes him different than any other that I've come across?