What's up everyone? So today I was free having no one to talk to is also good sometimes you get lots of time to write about the past and regret some decisions.
So last time I guess I stopped talking to my Dewdrop so yeah let's start from there. At first when I stopped talking it was kind of difficult to do that because you know it's difficult to get yourself free to talk with someone to getting busy so that you don't have to talk.I always tried to keep a poker face in front of her and avoided her like if she was coming from front I would change the route. It pains a lot each time I do so I always thought that Should I quit? But I didn't because it would not resolve anything it was just an escape and for her I would just be a person she get to know on her way but I wanted her to know me and if I left due to any cause she would remember me and keep me in touch so I made sure that she doesn't face any issues like kept her system vacant even from my friends if there were any leaves she has aaploed I would make them approve even sacrificing my own. But something happened in August that was too bad to happen she had an accident she was absent for a few days so at first I thought that she might be I'll or something so I didn't ask but my overthinking I thought she absconded the office so I asked and then my team lead replied " She had an accident and had a fracture in her hand and she is not able to type" Was quite sad about that. Thought everyday either to meet her or to message her about her condition but if I did so it would only hurt so I didn't. She came one day after around 15-20 days but in that meanwhile she didn't came everything changed around me.
My old personality emerged quite strongly the old and rude Rahil that no one liked and everyone avoided came. But it's not my fault my sunshine was not there. It was never like I stopped loving her I was more than happy loving her from afar. So when she came a day or two before that we had some technical issues my team lead asked me to create follow ups in the meanwhile I did create them but next day he and I had an argument so I didn't do those follow ups and I guess I hurt his pride too much so he took action against that and put me on action plan and that was the day she came and I guess something happened in the cab. The fractur she had got worse because of the travel her bones moved so she was having a hard time I thought of asking it but at that point of time it was around 2 months we didn't spoke so it would be really awkward if I show concern out of no where so I didn't and also I had an argument so I focused myself on that.
But can't leave her like that I a day before her arrival the team lead told me and she would come so I asked to give her leaves so that she would completely heal that was the point of the start of the argument and that day after seeing her the team lead also felt that too. So after that he gave her leaves till the end of August I would be alone but it's for better if she recovers.
I don't know if that was a right decision or not but when i talked with her and by that time the love even larger I even planned my future with her but it was just that I never had a chance to convey it to her. So when she came we changed the sitting a lot I was sitting next to her we didn't talk much only little bit daliy conversation or if she needed help I would do so in that meanwhile I started taking more with a team mate Shivani and her so called boyfriend Yash in the team. I would help her and genuinely did my best in that friendship. She would bitch about her but I was in no postion to stop her so I always tried to divert the topic.
She has always said lots and lots of things about her but I never changed my opinion for her. One thing that I'm proud in me is that I always try and then judge myself if it's good or bad but do not believe anyone's word. So time passed sittijg place changed she was provided a system next to me again this time I'm sitting next to team lead and she was sitting next to me and I myself was feeling my mood gradually getting better.
Normal conversations became talks and again the cycle started. This time I thought at least I'll do my best even if it would broke me. Then a system error occured and I had to go to another corner and she was sitting far from me but atleast I'm at that taking stage I would at least got there 50 times to talk with her and this time my luck csm on my end I was sitting on the second last system and she again came next to me we spent time there only the two of us seperate frommy team mates and everyone I would poke her and would crack lame jokes because her smile was too pretty to resist when she smiled her eyes shined brighter than anything. I would poke her when she was working she would hold my hand to stop me It felt too good so I did that again and again. But everytime I did so there was a fear that at one point she would shout and I would be terminated I sexual harrasment but never once she did so. It was great the time I spent with her till today I loved that about her. One thing I would say I hate about her is that just to make everyone she would sacrifice her own happiness that I got to know after I talked with her. Why would someone do so? I know thinking for some one is great and all and best thing but sometimes being selfish is not bad too.
I guess if I write about her I would reach the limit so let's stop here for today will meet tomorrow and feel you more about her purity and beauty. Till then Sayonara!