The most hurting factor that a person can get is when you try to explain something and others don't believe you. I try to explain myself to the best but I don't know where did things go wrong.
Dewdrop and I have a connection, me and her both can feel it but it's just that she is not able to acknowledge it. She is also right on her part because she is in a situation where she has to choose me or her current boyfriend. The boyfriend is only keeping her and has been with her for around 10 months. I know my intuition is not wrong here I can read faces and minds and I know for sure not today but 1-2 years down the line she will exactly know what I'm talking about. I do not have the willpower to leave her or to stay away. I asked for marriage but she wanted to give that time to see whether the thing I'm talking about is true or not. Time doesn't stay still for no one some people make wrong decisions at the right time for the wrong people.
I love her so much I would even burn the whole world if it harmed her. She is the one factor that's keeping me going this time around. Sometimes the thought of giving everything up and leaving this world is the thought that comes but I just don't want to make my parents sad because of that. So I just let myself struggle with it. I know she is too perfect for me. She cares for me and keeps me in check. Doesn't want to hurt me. Sometimes she does things that she doesn't want to do but for my sentiments, she does that.
Words cannot express my thinking even if I said I love her every day there would not be one day I would not feel it. I'm such a person I don't submit myself to anyone and have a great ego. But when I'm with her I always keep my ego aside. Even when she fights with me I would curse myself for doing that never once have I regretted the fact that I loved her.
The worst part about this world is that it doesn't treat people right so when someone shows genuine care and concern the people don't believe that lots of people make fake promises but I have always kept my promises and even if know it's wrong path if I chose it I would walk on that and never regret it. I can give my all for that.
By this time I don't have anything to lose I don't have any friends because being alone is better than keeping fake friends, and my job is not doing great I don't know if I'll be able to stay by ghr end of this month or not. But one thing that has increased is my prayers because I know the creator can make the impossible possible. I do pray a lot and only ask for this girl to never leave me and to bind us in marriage.
I have felt incomplete without her. There's a saying that before this world there was a world where all the souls were kept and the souls who are close to that world when they meet the thing they felt there emerge again. I don't know what I felt there but I know for sure she and I had a lot going there too. I don't know how to express that.
Once I will separate from her I'll give her the link to this book to read so that she can understand it. I think this is the trait I got from my father. Everyone says I am exactly like him I guess so. He doesn't know how to express but he gives it all for the ones he loves.
If I had a chance I would hug her and never leave her. I have a lot of things in my mind that I keep to myself sometimes I even have headaches from thinking. But I don't say anything. The real thing is that I don't wanna be a best friend whom her boyfriend is jealous of I wanna get jealous of her best friend. Not just a boyfriend but I want to be a husband who prays for her safety.
My love for her never stops it is only growing day by day. She thinks that she is a negative person, you know I'm a negative person too. But she forgot that two negatives always make a positive. Keeping aside my family and prayers I can leave everything for her happiness. I know I don't have a place or time to say this but for this girl, I can say for sure this.