I died on January 1st, 2022, at midnight.
You see, I'm not saying that for dramatic effect, though, you might insert violins here if you'd like to. No, I'm simply issuing a statement. A warning that the story you're about to discover is that of a dead Korean woman.
And they say the craziest things happen in America... well, I can assure you that I died in Seoul. I should have known my life was going to end this way. I could have only died the same way you did, in a weird twist of fate that defies all kinds of logic. In case you have believed the universe had any sense of logic from the moment it began to exist.
But I'm all talk and no show, right? The same way an adult moves a ppopgi right under your nose and teases you before giving it to you. Honestly, I never had patience for that kind of game, yet you loved to do that every single time you came back home from work with my favorite snacks. You laughed so joyously every time I was trying to jump with my tiny legs to catch the candy in your hand while you were running around the whole house. At some point, I don't know if it was before I've first bitten a guy at elementary school who was pulling my hair or after it basically became a habit with every single person annoying me, to the point where later, everybody in high school started calling me "Crazy Dog", but I realized how stupid I was to chase after you and allow you to use me as his own entertainment in a game I was having no fun in.
So, when I was nine, I prepared myself. It was on the first Thursday you came back home with some ppopgi, yelling, "Soo-jin-ah! Look what Appa bought you! Do you want some? Come and get it!". I anticipated that you were about to run, with those tender eyes yet mischievous smile of yours. So before you could do that, I took a deep breath.
And bit you in the leg so hard, you had to stay at the hospital for two weeks.
Not because I actually managed to hurt you severely, my bite had just been the reason why you fell backwards in a scream of pain, accidently hitting a vase of flowers and getting your back badly scratched from all the glass.
You didn't cry because of your back or the pain, though. You mostly complained because the new white work shirt you bought for yourself was ripped.
And looking back now, I can understand why; it's not like we had a lot of money, and those kind of shirts were luxury for people like you, my older sister and me, living in a half-basement and having only a bedroom, a living room and one room half-splitted into the bathroom and the kitchen.
But for a man like you, one clean white work shirt and the smile on your daughters' faces when you came back home with some candy after sleeplessly working was more than enough, though you never dared to tease me with candy after that. All of it was enough for you. Unlike my mother.
Appa... if only I had known, on the last day of 2004, as we were ready to go into 2005, that the dalgona you brought home the day before was the last one I would ever receive. From you. From anyone else. You know me, I wouldn't have been more grateful than a quick "thanks" if I'd known. You wouldn't have received the hug or the kiss you always asked of me or my sister. Too bad for you that I just hated physical contact or anything related to expressing your emotions, and that your eldest daughter was just a crazy bitch.
But I'm sure you still miss that crazy bitch. I think I'll miss her too, just a tiny tiny bit, now that I'm ready to join you. You left without me in 2004. Death spared me.
And on January 1st 2022, it came back to claim my life.
I wonder if too much time has passed since I'm in this cold and dark place. I wonder if my body is still on the highway, stuck under my car, or if my sister and brother-in-law have already moved on with their lives after my funeral. I wonder how much time is left.
Will you come pick me up like that day of your accident, when I called you after going to Cho-Hee's house?
Come on, don't make me wait under the rain like the day of our accident in 2004. Or, at least, tell me that this time, you won't leave without me in the end.
I'm waiting, Appa.
Anyone? Is there someone here?
I'm just... I'm so cold.
And I don't like the darkness. I've never liked it.
Appa? Appa!
"Don't worry. I'm here."
Finally! A voice. I still can't see a thing, but I can definitely hear footsteps. But... wait a minute, that voice. I don't recognize that voice. It's not yours, Appa.
"Don't worry. Everything's going to be alright now. I've been waiting for you for quite some time now, Mun Soo-jin. But now, you're here. So you're finally going to replace me."