"Oooh, should I deny him access like a bodyguard in a club?"
Azrael glances at Death with a fed-up expression, watching her laugh to her own bad joke.
But she doesn't seem to feel the slightest embarrassed by it, and keeps lightheartedly making comments about the situation. "You know I hate playing favorites! Sure, some of them are usually funnier than others. You could die laughing listening to some jokes these humans make! Ha! Besides... Why would I want to give up on him? I'll only be at a loss here."
"His death was unnatural."
"And it's not my fault! You can blame it all on your brothers! They think they can do everything they want just because they have unspeakable powers and beautiful hair? I have those too!" To back up her statement, she does a stylish hair flip, posing for a brief moment as if she were on the cover of a magazine, looking at a highly unimpressed Azrael before regaining her composure and smiling as usual. "Yet, you don't see me doing whatever I want."
"It may be my brothers' fault, but both of us know that you and I will be the only ones to suffer the consequences of their mistakes. If we leave the balance upset, it will eventually tip off in disfavor of us."
"Yes, yes, I've seen that already when the first humans who finally noticed that Heaven and Hell were living among them have started to kill some demons! It's becoming an absolute headache to keep track of everything ever since you guys all try to live in a plane of existence that's not even yours, you know? And while I'm very keen on helping you out, Azrael, you also know that I don't do charity and gatekeeping the balance of the universe is not in my job description. So if you want me to spare that man, you better come up with a good payment to compensate."
"Please... please, don't save me."
Azrael, Death in the past and Death in the present and myself all turn our heads to the fragile voice filled with tears of the man that just spoke. And as soon as our eyes meet, I lower my eyes and hit my head out of reflexe. Because I didn't immediately recognize my own father's voice and had to look at him to know it's him who just spoke.
I've truly forgotten my father's voice. I've truly forgotten every little detail about him.
I can't look at him.
Not now, not like this.
"Please, don't save me. I—I've lived everything I have to. Please, don't spare me. Spare my daughter instead!"
No, no, no... I can't hear his voice. It's too painful. I have to cover my ears. I can't listen to him, not when he seems like he's about to cry.
But no matter how hard I press my hands against my ears, I can still hear him begging.
"She's not around yet. That means she's not dead yet, right? Please, save her! If you have to make a choice between us, choose her! She's—she's so young! She has so much to see, so much to live!"
Why? Why is he asking them to save me instead?
Appa! Why would you do that? Let them save you! Let them bring you back to life! I have nothing more to live! I don't want to live in a world where you're not with me! Please, don't ask them to save me!
"Oh, old man... you're very moving, really."
I can hear Death from the past start to talk, but now with the voice of a woman. Rather, with the voice of child, probably looking then like he does right now, sitting next to me, having just turned into a little kid with the hair color, the same black clothes perfectly made for his size, but with androgynous features.
"And it's nice to see a human being mindful of his surroundings! Seeing that your daughter's spirit is not here yet? Bravo! But, of course, it's just too bad you got a wrong interpretation of the situation. Don't you wonder why we don't even talk about saving both of you?"
"Wh—what?"
"Your daughter is not here right now, and we can't save her. She left the second she got ejected out of that car. But you still have a shot because you haven't crossed the bridge yet."
I jerk back my head to see ahead and look with watery eyes inside the car where my dad's body is still resting. Fortunately, his face is too covered up from where I am, but I have a clear view on his chest.
And it's still rising...
"No... no, no, no, no! No, please, no, my daughter, no, no, no... Soo-jin-ah! Soo-jin-ah!"
"I've seen enough." I try to sound as assertive as I can when I feel like bursting out in tears I can't even shed, like my dad does.
"No, I don't think so," Death simply answers.
"I've seen enough! Let me go! I don't want to... I can't—" I have trouble speaking.
I may not be breathing, but I feel like my chest gets compressed a lot more everytime I hear my dad's sobs. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to do anything more. I just want to die and for all of this to be over. I just want to disappear, like I almost did in 2005, no matter where that is.
So when I remember Death's warning earlier, about how I shouldn't get out of the car because I might end up in a place even it can't access, I grab the handle. And I open the car door, getting one leg outside. Immediately, I feel goosebumps take all over it, until I can no longer feel it. But I don't care.
Anything else is better than having to hear my dad crying for one more moment.
When I try to jump off the car, something grabs me from behind and pulls me back inside, the door closing by itself. A powerful scream surges out of my throat, as I suddenly feel the pain of all the open wounds on my body. I feel like I can pass out anytime, but for some reason, I stay awake. I quickly look at Death, quietly sitting next to me and not even moving a finger. But my head jerks back on its own and every part of my body locks up, forcing me to stay still and look at the flashback still going on.
I shut my eyes the moment they lay upon my dad, on his knees on that rainy road, still begging Azrael and Death from the past to spare me. Fortunately, my eyelids don't open up, but I still get to hear every single plea, every single sob that makes my heart ache more than all my open wounds.
"If you don't want to look, fine," Death says in a childish and innocent voice. "But at least, listen until the end. It'll be over soon."
"Please! She doesn't deserve to die! Do you know how intelligent she is? She—she could be the number one at school if she studied! She doesn't even need that, she... she remembers everything so easily! She's so young, but she understands everything. She always has a witty comeback, she doesn't let people have their ways with her, and she may seem mean sometimes, but she has the heart of a baby bird! Do you know she keeps the very small amount of pocket money I give her to save up and buy me a present for every single one of my birthdays? We don't have much, so she skips meals at school to save up that pocket money! And she leaves the present in front of my door and doesn't even claim it's coming from her! She didn't understand it yet, how much her sister loves her, how much her friends love her, how much I love her! Please... let her live enough time to understand that. Let her grow up and receive love! Please... please..."
Appa... Appa! Stop saying that, stop convincing them! You can live! You can stay with Bo-ra, both of you can live a peaceful life with one less mouth to feed. You could finally go back to Busan, buy yourself a fishing boat and pretend you can fish to sleep all day and buy good food and alcohol with the retirement money! You can enjoy everything you've gained by working so hard for years, never even having proper vacation days. You have many things to live too! Please... don't beg them to save me.
"Let the man go and bring back the girl," Azrael's solemn voice says, stopping all the sobs, all the raindrops hitting the road, and all the distant noises around for me.
No, no, no! Please, no! Please, save my dad! Please!
"My, my! Azrael suggesting that I should pull back a dead human being from the Omega? Do you realize what you're asking me to do? You want me to create a Deathbringer."
"Didn't you want to retire? Isn't that what you've bothered me with for the past three hundred years? There you go, that will be your retirement plan, then. Bring back the girl and when she dies for a second time, she will be your replacement."
"Wait, you actually want that? You, of all people, want to create a Deathbringer to replace me? But you loathe them."
"I told you, already : the balance can't stay tipped off."
"Ha! I can't believe my ears. Well, if that's your wish, fine, you'll be the one to take responsibility for it if it goes sideways, anyway. But I'm warning you : I won't be the one mentoring her, I'll simply give her a job description, but I'll let you do the teaching!"
"Fine, fine! Just... do it, already."
"Wait—what you'll do to my daughter... is it—is it dangerous?"
"Nonsense, old man! She'll come back to life, live as if nothing happened, except for some side effects like seeing ghosts, but it's not that bad. I'll even heal her eye so she doesn't stay blind! When she dies a second time, I'll personally greet her. By the way, if you want to say hi, feel free to do so, because I'll probably show her this exact interaction. Unless I make a grand speech... hum, I'll have to think about it."
"But—what will happen to her then?"
"Let's see... the moment she'll die once again, she'll be presented with two paths. Path A, she accepts that she has to replace me and take over my role because from now on, she's been promised to me. Turning her into a Deathbringer is not a piece of cake, and by accepting this deal, I'm placing a bet on her : I will plan the next years according to that, so I will be very annoyed if it was all for nothing. Once she'll learn everything she has to, she will have these incredible powers I have and live on forever until her time comes to disappear. Great, right? Who would refuse such an opportunity? But, if she decides to waste the occasion away and therefore chooses path B... I will make her pay for my personal time she's wasted." I can hear the smile in its voice as Death leaves the sentence hanging in the air, full of unspoken warnings. "Now, to be honest, your place still belongs to the afterworld. You will be of no use to me, and I'm doing enough for your family by turning your daughter into a Deathbringer already. Then... so long, old man!"
I open my eyes in a hurry and look at where they are all standing.
But my dad is already gone.
"No, no... please, no, let me see him, let me—" The words die out in my throat.
I grab the door handle and try to open it, but it's locked and the roof of the car starts to suddenly be pulled back on, making me feel like I'm suffocating, soon to be trapped in a confined space. I start hitting the surface, trying to stop it every way I can and getting out of the car. I just need to see my dad for a second. I just need to see him one last time.
Why, why did I close my eyes?
I just need to see him, please.
I just—
"Calm down. You'll have all the time you want to visit him in the Omega if that's what you wish. As long as you accept what you were promised me for and fill in your role in this whole deal."
I stop and twist to look at Death. It keeps smirking at me, but I no longer feel like showing him any tolerance, despite his naive child face.
"Don't you even think you can argue with me on this—" it tries, but I interject quickly.
"Ya! Don't you think you get a saying in what I'm gonna do. I don't give three shits about your personal agenda and your personal time. If you let my father die because he was of no use to you, then don't think I'm gonna do the things you ask of me if you are of no use to me."
For a brief moment, Death loses its smirk, to give me, for the second time now, an intrigued look, his face too serious for his usual lightsome expression.
"I'm all about personal choices, Soo-jin. Remember, I'm not the one who chose anything for you. I told you, I'm not the cause nor am I the action. I'm only the reaction. You get your own causality tree, and you suffer your own consequences. Whatever you choose, I will be one of the consequences, the most prominent one too. You were promised to me, whether you like it or not. Of course, I will find my way around the plans I've worked on for years that will be destroyed if the promise given to me isn't fulfilled, because I am practical like that. But everything that will be damaged around you while I hastily try to find my way will only be... how to put it? Ah, yes! Retribution."
It takes only a moment for the highway around me to break in millions of pieces, like glass. And as those pieces fall into the darkness, so does the car. I grab anything I can to stay in place, now that we're facing a bottomless black pit. We pick up speed in this free fall, to the point where I can see the immaculate white surface of the car light up in flame. We fall and fall until the moment we suddenly crash onto a surface, and I hit my head to the closed roof. It cracks open and starts falling all around, on a rainy ground. Soon, the door and the wheel follow the course, and I find myself pressing against Death to avoid falling as the seat under me starts breaking and falling to the floor. But I'm pushed back from behind so in a small squeal, I find myself head first on a wet pavement.
I close my eyes and wait. Wait to feel the same tingle on my leg when I got it out of the car earlier, before I start feeling it altogether. I wait for that to happen to my whole body.
But nothing comes.
So I open my eyes and it takes me a moment to take in my surroundings, with all the people coming out of ambulances, yelling orders and running around to transport injured people tied to beds, screaming in pain in a pool of their own blood.
And among those people, I see my own fractured body getting transported inside the hospital. I follow my lifeless body with my eyes, as I hear Death speak behind me.
"Here's my last gift to you! You get to live in your human body one more time until the moment I finish up my own business and I'm ready for my retirement. Don't get too disappointed, you'll know I'm about to come back when you hear the seven trumpets. And it'll be sooner than you think! Prepare yourself for what's coming : once I retire, the first job I'll leave you with will be a big, big one. I'll leave you with a few gifts, so that you can slowly get used to the feeling : keep your eyes open for them, they'll be surprises!"
I finally get up when I can no longer see myself and spin around to face Death. But I stumble and fall back on the floor the moment I discover what the sports car has been replaced by.
A big pale horse, with his skin sticking to his bones, getting thinner until the moment he has none of it on his head. His empty eyes gaze at them the same moment Death does, now in its original form of skeleton covered in a large black coat. Except that this time, it also brandishes a large scythe resting on his shoulder, with a smirk showing its little sharp teeth.
"Don't try to do anything crazy, because you'll have someone watching you very closely. Now, now, now, you heard it, I'm not the one who's going to teach you the rest, I have too much work for that! I'll leave you alone with dear Azrael. I'm sure he'll find a way to make you understand that one of the two options you can choose from can spare us a lot of headaches. The other might bear unpleasant outcomes, but it will be just as entertaining for me, believe me."
When the ambulance that brought me here starts driving away, I see a silhouette that I recognize immediately, even if he's slightly changed over the past years.
Azrael is staring back at me with his left eye, his wings nowhere to be seen, his arms folded from behind, his straight black hair now long enough to brush his neck, his bangs separated on the sides in a bit messy way, and with a light beard covering his chin. He seems to be wearing the same kind of white shirt, stained with small spots of dirt and blood, with a black jacket on him this time. He's wet from the rain, but he doesn't seem to care at all, keeping his focus on me, his face as unbothered as ever.
"I don't understand... why me? You said there were also people from the same kind as you. Why not ask them to replace you?
"You'll understand it, one day, you know. The others are not like me. They are death gods. They're harbingers of the end. The bridge to the end. I am that end."
I'm suddenly thrown aback when the pale horse neighs and gets his front legs up, as wind flows by Death's black cloak, his scythe high in the air.
"We'll meet again, Soo-jin! The next time we'll see each other... I'll have the Apocalypse following me!"
The horse neighs one more time and starts running, Death's loud laughter filling the whole air as my eyelids suddenly start to become as heavy as the rest of my body, hurting more and more. But the pain dies out in some kind of anesthesia, until my legs give up on me and I fall on the ground, unable to get up or to make out any of the hazy sounds and blurry lights around me.
At some point, the black spots dancing before my eyes become so big, they cover up the whole Earth around me, and I'm stuck in the darkness.
Only thinking about my dad's face that I couldn't see.