I can't believe I'm tangled in such a mess.
Seriously, I never even dreamed of being the heroine of an epic story like Cho-hee. They should have hit her up for the role.
Oh wait no, they better not touch my little Cho-hee, and let her live a long and happy life before she can rest in peace when she dies of old age, unlike me.
Given my often pale complexion and my skinny body, it is true that I'm a better fit to be a death god, since I look like I'm half-dead all the time already. But I really don't remember signing any kind of contract like this with life!
I should have quit when I still had the chance.
I still feel like my head is going to explode, even as it's been at least an hour that I've been strolling around my neighborhood to clear my mind from all the conversations I just had with Azrael, before he left me with the promise that he'll visit me to guide me with the new powers and little jobs I've been given until the moment Death comes back again. He didn't explain anything else as to what these "little jobs" will be about and disappeared in the blink of an eye as we were on a crossroad.
And now I still can't make up my mind to go home. I'm afraid of the loneliness that'll embrace me once I get there. I want to go to Uijeongbu next to Cho-hee, but I don't know how I'll explain all these bruises and little cuts all over my face and my body without alarming her. Also, I'm scared something weird might happen like in the morgue of that hospital.
I should just isolate myself. I'll tell her that I'm supposed to go on a business trip so I won't be in Seoul for a few months, then I won't answer her calls so she'll get mad at me and stop contacting me. I'll also stop talking to my brother-in-law and send one last message to my sister to tell her that I never want to see her face again.
If I can draw them away from me, they might suffer less when I'll really be gone.
In the meantime, I will try to learn more information about the Apocalypse. Azrael refused to give me any, except for that last ominous but firm statement he made regarding the near end of the world, clearly hinting from his grim tone and his concerned eyes that it's something unstoppable.
But we'll see about that. I don't how yet, but I'll find a way to stop it.
I owe this much to my dad.
And by the time I'm done, if Death still hasn't showed up... then I'll just die myself, a third and final time.
OK, great plan, Soo-jin! Now let's go home and find out more about the Apocalypse... or should I go to the library? Maybe to a temple? What kind of Apocalypse are we talking about here? And what's the exact expiration date of the world?
... Shit. I really am clueless, huh?
Well, I'll think about that later. For now, I should focus on my plans to isolate myself from the rest of the world. I'll just call Cho-hee, my sister and my brother-in-law and be really mean and force myself out of their lives.
I keep thinking about what I could tell them, as I get closer to my house and quickly search around for my two ghost friends, without success. It might be better for them to get me out of their lives too... I guess they made the right decision by going away, yesterday and—
Wait.
That Japanese guy called me a shinigami yesterday. A death god in Japanese... so he knew what was going to happen to me even before it even did.
But I haven't even encountered him today. Could he be one of the death gods Azrael talked about? I guess so, given how the old fish lady and the dead bride were scared of him and said he addressed me as if I were akin to him. But why was he waiting for me yesterday, and why did he salute me before anything happened?
Weird... I guess I'll see him soon anyway, since I'm supposed to be in trial to be one of them now.
I sweep around one last time in case I encounter anyone I know, and put on my hoodie so that my nosy neighbor doesn't see the bruises on my face, in case she might ask too many questions about it, before taking the stairs leading to my apartment. But as I get in front of my door and start typing in my lock code, I halt at the third number when I hear a big thud above and slowly take a few steps back to watch the stairs leading to the rooftop right on top of me.
There's a small room on the rooftop that's an attic, and it serves as a common space to the small appartement I share only with the lady underneath me, the first floor being unoccupied ever since the last owner moved out a few months ago. But the lady doesn't ever use it; I don't know where she stores her stuff, but she refused to put them there, saying that I'll probably steal them. So I'm the only one who's put my bicycle and some other stuff there, like old and unused or broken appliances I had, out-of-season clothes that take too much space in my wardrobe and most importantly, the stuff my father owned that I've never been able to throw away.
So unless someone new moved to the first floor, which is unlikely since I haven't even seen somebody visit the apartment, nobody is supposed to be there. Then, why do I keep hearing some big thuds as if someone was inside, searching for something?
I take the stairs to go to the rooftop, determined to not let anyone touch my father's stuff. I take a few light steps on the wet floor from yesterday's rain and approach the slightly open door of the small attic. The closer I get, the more I can hear clear noises of someone moving all the stuff inside. The person even lets out a small scream, followed by the sound of glass breaking on the ground.
I pull the hoodie more to cover my face a bit, take off one of my shoes to hold it like a weapon, get my hand on the door handle and take a few deep breaths. When I push the door, I feel the person inside pull it towards themselves at the same time. The moment the door gets wide open, I find myself facing a man of the same height as me, his tan face partially covered with a cloth on his mouth and nose, the darkness of the attic making it hard to perceive the rest of his features. I raise my shoe to the air when he lifts a rainbow duster.
And we both start to scream.
And his scream is definitely more high-pitched than mine.
But then, I stop.
Because I definitely recognize this more high-pitched scream than mine.
So, I take a few steps back and grab the man by the arm to bring him into daylight. As soon as his face is lit and he takes off the cloth covering his face, he lets go of his duster and I let go of my shoe to take off my hoodie.
I take a deep breath and lean on my knees, trying to calm down my racing heartbeat. "Oppa! I thought you were a robber!"
"I thought you were a robber with your hoodie!" My brother-in-law also leans on his knees and breathes in and out like me.
"Well... it was just you, then."
I stretch and start to go back down the stairs to go home.
But then I go back on the rooftop by backtracking.
Did I just talk to my brother-in-law who's been in Canada for three years with my sister?
I very slowly turn back to face him again.
He has his arms wide open and a bright smile on his lips, showing all his teeth. "Surprise!"
Then he does a little trot to come my way and try and hug me, but I crouch and escape his embrace.
He stops and turns back to hug himself tightly with a disappointed face. "We haven't seen each other for three years and I still don't get to hug you? That's un— wait... you're smiling!"
Indeed, it seems like the more I look at him, the more I realize in disbelief that he's actually in front of me, and my facial muscles seem too eager to show that I'm way too happy at that fact to cover it up like I always do. So as I start going down the stairs, I turn every now and then to look at him again and smile, still amazed that he's not on a phone call.
He follows me all the way inside my apartment, audibly laughing as he keeps repeating that I smiled. I give him a slight tap on the arm as he gets past me.
"Should I ask you what happened to your face now, or do you want to wait for your sister?" he asks in English, with concern in his voice even as he tries to keep a bright smile, his eyes filled with as much joy as me when he looks at me.
"She's here too?"
"Of course! She went to the market real quick. Well, we weren't expecting you to come this early from Cho-hee's place, so I hope what she buys will be enough... don't you ever feed yourself? Why are your drawers so empty?"
I only now realize that my house isn't at all how I left it yesterday, when I went to work and then... well, died.
The sheets on my bed have been changed, the couch has been moved to be perfectly aligned with the TV in front of it, the drawers around are dust-free, the heated floor is clean, the dark and brown curtains have been switched with bright yellow ones and some of my clothes are probably getting washed in the working washing machine. Most importantly, the Jesa table I set up yesterday has been put away.
I quickly walk up to the TV stand and open up the drawer where I usually put my dad's portrait. And I find it exactly there, instinctively knowing that it's my sister who's put it there. At least, she still knows that I won't be able to hang that photo around.
I look at my dad's smiling face, taking a deep breath. I approach the tip of my fingers to the glass, but as soon as I'm about to touch it, I pull away my hand as if I'd been burned, and I abruptly close the drawer, closing my eyes for a moment, trying to forget his cries and the way he begged and—
"Guess what I brought you from Canadaaaa!"
My brother-in-law's enthusiastic tone suddenly pulls me back to reality. I slowly get up and approach him, while he's searching for something in his luggage that's near the entrance.
"When did you guys come?" I ask, looking around to the house that's been cleaned with a lot of attention when it's barely eleven in the morning.
"Last night. We spent the whole day in the plane and jet lag knocked me out! Since you were with Cho-hee, we decided to spend the night at your place. You really should change the code of your lock at least once every six months!"
"And you played the maids first thing in the morning?"
"We got up early."
"Were you cleaning the attic earlier?"
"You gotta be thorough with your job to be paid well!" He jumps back on his feet, hiding what he just snitched from his luggage with a mischievous grin. "Guess what I bought youuu—"
"Maple leaf candy, maple syrup, a sweater, a beanie and a bag with a maple icon on them, and a little Canadian flag with that national maple on it."
"How did you... how did—" He stutters in disbelief, his eyes wide open.
"You're literally wearing a t-shirt that says 'I love Canada' with a maple icon instead of a heart icon."
"Well... it's true, but you didn't guess which one of these gifts I bought!" His face brightens up again with mischief.
"All of them. You bought all of them."
He freezes with that large smile on his mouth for a while. Then, he pouts and throws a large bag on my chest. "You're no fun..."
With a satisfied grin, I open up the bag and take out all of the gifts I easily predicted out of it, while he drags his feet to throw himself on the couch, face first on the pillow.
"Your English got better." Immediately after I say that, he bolts upright, stars dancing in his eyes.
"Thank you!" He starts acting all cute by curling his hands around his cheeks and winking excessively.
"You just got thirty-seven! Stop doing the aegyo!"
"No, no, no! I'm a true Canadian now! I count my age with the international age system, not the Korean one!"
"... That's not an argument that helps you, you're still thirty-five with the western age system."
"It's a little better than thirty-seven!"
I roll my eyes with a smirk, then put the maple leaf candy in my mouth and start testing out the beanie in front of the mirror, next to the high counter of the open kitchen. And that's when I notice the nice white vase standing there, with beautiful yellow chrysanthemums inside and a note just next to it, written in... hanja?
I take the note in disbelief, trying to understand what the Chinese characters on the note are saying, with every knowledge I can recall of my Hanja education in high school. But then again, in high school, I spent most of my time dozing off or writing notes to Cho-hee and reading hers to talk about the latest show we've watched.
"What is this? Did you start learning Hanja in your spare time in Canada?" I turn to look at my brother-in-law, who raises his eyes from his phone screen and shakes his head.
"No, but I guess your boyfriend did. Someone rang the door at midnight yesterday. When we opened it, the person was gone but he left these flowers with the vase on your doorstep. We guess it was your boyfriend but... why do you look so surprised?"
"... I don't have a boyfriend."
"Wait, really? What happened to that guy you've been dating since we've been gone?"
"We broke up four months ago!"
"Why didn't I know that?"
"I— it's not important! I still don't know who left those here."
"Well, looks like you have a secret admirer, then."
I tilt my head slightly and look at the flowers. Then I sniff the nice odor, and leave the vase on the counter again, quietly observing the note. I take out my phone to translate it.
But I suddenly lose all focus on what I was doing when I hear a scream outside that's even more familiar than my brother-in-law's.
"Unnie!"
I put the note in the pocket of my pants and rush to the window and catch the curtain to cover most of my face while I watch the street. The hair on my arms actually stands up when I see Cho-hee, whose scream I recognized immediately, who is crying, her face red like a pepper, while hugging my sister.
She's cut her light brown hair in layers, stopping at her strong shoulders that show that she's been into sports for a long time. They used to call me Crazy Dog in high school because I bite everybody who annoys me, but, and I know she would never admit it, they used to call her the Octopus when she was in high school. Her years of taekwondo training during her youth gave her the ability to quickly strike and grapple anybody she wants with her long legs and muscled arms, which she's maintained for these past three years. Her skin looks more tan and clear, she's even gained some weight. If she took the time to sunbathe and ate well, that means she's been more stress-free than I've ever seen her be. And from the way her face with sharp and usually sober features is lighted with a broad smile she gives to Cho-hee, free of the concern I usually saw on it even in the moments when she was happy, I guess Canada really worked well for her.
Or maybe it's the life she's started away from me that helped her this much.
I stop looking through the window and sit on the floor, taking a deep breath as I start remembering her messages from yesterday, before I broke my phone by throwing it on the floor. I shouldn't focus on that, not when my brother-in-law is sitting on the couch right in front of me, and he's looking at me with those concerned eyes while I can hear my sister and Cho-hee go up the stairs.
My brother-in-law doesn't say a thing, despite clearly feeling that something in the air switched. He simply gets up and pats my shoulder, giving me a sweet smile, his soft face offering me some comfort with the way he hugs me with his eyes. Then, he goes to open the door.
The next second, I find myself tackled on the floor by someone who's watched too many actions movies and dramas but has never even taken a step inside a fitness center, commonly referred to as Kim Cho-hee but that I will call The-Crazy-Bitch-Who-Killed-Me-For-The-Third-Time from now on, given how hard she squeezes me inside her tiny arms, crying even louder.
"Ya! You talk too fast, I can't hear a thing!" I try to say, while she keeps loudly wailing next to my ear like that dead bride ghost.
"Why did you get out of the hospital? What if something bad happened on your way here? Why didn't you call me when you woke up? Wae?"
I freeze as Cho-hee gets off me and forces me to stand up. I feel both my brother-in-law and my sister's sudden grim looks as they get closer to us.
"... Hospital?" my sister repeats, and I get actual goosebumps just hearing her voice up close and not through a phone for the first time in three years.
"What hospital? You're coming from the hospital?" my brother-in-law adds.
"Yes! They called me because I'm her emergency contact! She got into a car accident and they brought her to the hospital! By the time I arrived, they told me she left!"
"You were involved in an accident and you didn't tell us?"
"I thought you were with Cho-hee!"
"What happened?"
"Are you hurt?"
"Why didn't you call us?"
"Why did you get out of the hospital?"
"Why—"
"Wait!" I scream and raise my hands to stop them from asking anymore questions, then take a deep breath and first point a finger at Cho-hee. "I came out of the hospital and the first thing you did was tackle me on the floor?"
She seems to barely realize now what she's done, and in great despair, gets ready to start wailing again, but I raise my hands once again before her face.
"But, I'm okay! I'm not hurt."
I still feel every muscle aching in my body ever since I woke up this morning.
"Nothing bad happened to me."
I died and became the perfect candidate to replace Death.
"A car slightly bumped into mine, so it has small damages."
My car was destroyed.
"I spent the night resting in the hospital and all the test results came clean."
I was brought back to life for the third time and taken out of the morgue.
"And I left the hospital without a problem."
I got attacked by a bunch of ghosts that took possession of corpses.
"I don't feel weird or ill."
I have new weird and unknown powers that scare the shit out of me.
"I went to eat outside."
I spent the morning with a scary but handsome-looking angel.
"Then I came home."
And the angel told me that the world will soon end because of the Apocalypse.
"Everything. Is. Okay."
Everything. Turned. To. Shit.
But at least, they seem like they're convinced.
The three of them let out deep reassured sighs and sit on the couch at the same time.
"Still, you should have called me!" Cho-hee whines.
"Her phone was broken. I brought it with me to a repair service this morning..." my sister adds and somehow, I can feel that she's stopped herself from adding anything else, probably because she knows that the incident is related to her messages from yesterday.
"But I thought you two were going to spend New Year's together," my brother-in-law interjects, looking confused.
Cho-hee gives me a guilty look and starts shaking her hands with an embarrassed smile. "Yes, but I left early in the morning because my mom had a small accident. She was supposed to join me later, but... buuuuuut..."
"My boss called me," I take over. "The idol we're working with got involved in a scandal and he was furious about the campaign we made with him, so he called in an 'emergency meeting' so I left after that. And then, you know, I was tired and... I didn't see the car coming from behind."
"No way! A scandal?" Cho-hee squeaks, getting closer to me.
"Who? Who's the idol?" my brother-in-law creaks, also getting closer to me.
"Wait..."
Cho-hee slowly turns her head to her left. My brother-in-law turns his head to the right. They both see each other. And they both start to scream and jump excitedly.
"Ahjussiiiiiiii!"
"Kim Cho-heeeeeee!"
I cross my arms on my chest and roll my eyes, waiting for their little moment to be over. But given how Cho-hee started to talk so fast you can't make out most of the words she says, I know she won't stop for another hour, now. And my brother-in-law, who starts speaking English with his thick Korean accent the more excited he gets, won't be the one to put an end to their conversation either.
"Ahjussi! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Unnie at the door, but I didn't even realize you would be there too!"
"I was sooo disappointed when Soo-jin came home alone!"
"I have a long list of dramas we could watch! I recently started to watch Chinese ones too, you should try with me!"
"Oooh, did you stop the Thai ones?"
"There isn't anything interesting these days and I've finished my list..."
"How do you watch all of these dramas when you have such a busy schedule at work?"
"You know me, hiding my earphones behind my hair, listening to the episodes and watching them while eating and talking with my colleagues! I can pretty much understand most of what they're saying in Mandarin!"
"Wooow, Cho-hee-ya! You impress me! You can even understand Mandarin and English now!"
Cho-hee flips her hair with a satisfied look, while my brother-in-law watches her with a proud smile, before looking like he's been struck by an idea. "Ooh, you could stay here tonight! The four of us will do a movie night!"
"Yeah! I'm on board! But... how long will you stay here?"
"Yeah, that's right, for how long are you here? And why did you come so suddenly?" I give a look at my brother-in-law, but he glances at my sister with reluctance.
She's started to store everything she bought from the market, her face as serious as ever. "We have some paperwork we have to take care of," she finally says, without even looking at me. "We'll go back in a week."
"And you?" I turn to face Cho-hee. "How come you're here? Why did you leave your mom?"
"My mom is with her sister. Her foot is okay, but with that slope we have to climb to go home, it'll be impossible for her ankle to heal properly, she'll just keep hurting herself. Besides, I'll be working all the time, so she needs someone to take care of her. So she'll stay with my younger aunt for a few months, then we'll see..."
"But you still have work to do! You shouldn't be in Seoul right now."
"I took a leave!"
"What? Why?"
"I received a call saying you got into a car accident and that you were in the hospital! I took a leave for a whole week to take care of you!"
"Well, as you can see, I don't need homecare!"
Cho-hee suddenly throws herself to cling to my arm. I try to get away, but she grips me strongly, pouting like a child.
So I give up and sigh, rolling my eyes. "Fine, fine... one week."
One week. I get to have one week with the three of them before drawing them away from me. I deserve that much, right? I can have that much... one week, then I do things according to my non-existent plan.
"Oh, Cho-hee-ya! Guess what I bought you from Canada!" My brother-in-law jumps excitedly around and gets a second handbag out of his suitcase, with a big smile plastered on his face.
Cho-hee looks at the bag with bright eyes and smiles innocently while clapping her hands like a child. "I don't know but I hope it's maple syrup! I wanted to taste that for so long!"
He starts moving around, looking way too satisfied that she didn't guess his gifts like I did earlier, and ends up taking out every single thing he bought me as well and shows it to Cho-hee while she exclaims in joy every time.
These kids!
The faint smile on my lips dies out as soon as I set eyes on my sister, who's still busy tidying the kitchen. I stagger around for a while before I set up my mind and finally go near her, pretending to get a glass of water. I side glance her every now and then while she washes the vegetables, very focused on her task.
I only realize she's already noticed my gaze when she starts talking, without even looking at me. "Which hospital were you in?"
"Huh? Hum... I was in Soonchunhyang..."
She suddenly lifts her head and gives me an intrigued look, as I feel my muscles becoming weaker. "Soonchunhyang? And you left this morning? When?"
"Around eight in the morning... why?"
"By any chance, did anything weird happen there?"
Except for the ghosts I had to fight against and the literal angel of death who helped me out?
"No. Why?"
She seems taken aback for a while, her eyes wandering around and her lips silently moving as she talks to herself, like she always does when she's thinking about something. But she ends up shaking her head and starts washing the vegetables again. "No reason. I just heard there was an accident this morning near that district. But it's Itaewon, so it's not even surprising."
I keep glancing at her, feeling that something's off, but she doesn't look away from her vegetables. When she ends up storing them and goes to water the yellow chrysanthemums sent to me from an unknown source, I get my hand inside the pocket of my pants and find the note in hanja I was about to translate before getting distracted by my sister and Cho-hee.
So I decide to think later about my sister's weird questions and get out my phone to open a translation app and start typing in the Chinese characters of the note.
I simply stare at the screen, my thoughts mixing up in a confusing haze, as I read the Hangul translation of the note I press in my fist.
"If you want to know the truth about who your father really was, come meet me on January the 1st at Jogyesa. I'll be waiting for you at dawn. Come alone. If you bring anyone else with you or try to pull a trick on me, you can kiss goodbye to the secret your father brought with him to his grave and your entire family hid from you all this time. Mark my words. I'll be waiting."