"When we have a good heart, we help too much. We trust too much, we give too much, we love too much, and finally... It seems, we are always the most hurt," said Dalmi from inside her heart after Juyeon asked to her.
Dalmi shook her head quickly after her ex-fiancé finished speaking. "No! I am not afraid that My Mom and Dad will be disappointed after knowing their daughter failed to marry. I believe, from where My Mom and Dad are now, they see what is happening in this room today," replied Dalmi very firmly.
"I really believe a thousand percent that My Mom and Dad will never be disappointed by my decision not to marry you. Just think, do any parents want to see their child live in misery after marriage? My Mom and Dad would never sell their child's happiness for the sake of their goal! My Mom and Dad always put their children's comfort, safety, happiness, and mental health first. And marrying a man like you — a man who is extremely toxic and creates a toxic mess — is like having to drink an antidote every day. And I'll end up dying of an overdose! Of course my parents and I won't let that happen! I'll protect myself from monsters like you!" Dalmi's words instantly made Juyeon silent where he was standing.
While Juyeon froze to the point where he was standing, Dalmi took a few short steps forward. This woman walked over to Juyeon. "You know what, Darling?" Dalmi touched and gently rubbed Juyeon's right cheek. "In this world, there is a difference between people who have hurt you by making mistakes, and people who have hurt you by continuing a pattern. Mistakes can be forgiven but patterns must be broken!" Dalmi glared at Juyeon. "Which line do you think you are in?" Dalmi asked with a low and cold intonation. "In my opinion, you are the one who has hurt me by continuing a pattern!" She insisted.
Juyeon was really pushed into a corner so he looked so small. For the first time in his life, Juyeon was made helpless by a woman after all this time Juyeon always looked down on the women around him. Not again this time! Juyeon has witnessed how a woman also has the power to not only break his heart but also bring down his pride in front of other women.
Seeing Juyeon not moving at all, Dalmi immediately left Juyeon's room. He left Juyeon and a woman he kissed a few minutes ago. With a grateful heart and a triumphant smile on her lips, Dalmi walked with sure steps as she walked down the less crowded hospital corridor. Dalmi is on her way to her destination, which is Doctor Young Dae's room.
"Sometimes, the people closest to us are always the ones we have to forgive for hurting us at some point. And I think that now is my turn. But I guess if I think about every time I've been hurt by someone I cherish and love, then put everything in order from the most painful to the most painful — then what Juyeon has gone through right now, might not be at the top of the list." Dalmi said as she walked down the corridors of Jinsang Hospital.
"But the thing that makes it all so painful is that this is the first time Juyeon has hurt me, ever lied to me, and once betrayed me. And when I also think about all the people who have hurt me — it's like a very long list. Maybe I'll sound very naive. Because to be honest, I never really thought Juyeon would be on that list. Honestly, I think that Juyeon is different from most other guys." Dalmi's heart spoke again as her eyes stared straight ahead because she was paying attention to the road in front of her.
All this time, Dalmi thought that she and Juyeon had known each other, then they both realized that they too had been disappointed and hurt by almost all the humans they had ever allowed to be in close proximity to them.
Dalmi thought that Juyeon was a person who would never do something like that. This woman thought that Juyeon knew everything better than her. But not! It turns out that Juyeon has also disappointed Dalmi and hurt her. The things that Dalmi had been thinking about Juyeon all this time were wrong.
~~~~
Life can never be predicted, every time Dalmi wakes up from her long sleep. As time passes, days change, seasons change, even the coldest winter Dalmi feels always happens for the best reasons.
Even though Dalmi's coldest winter felt so eternal that it made her freeze, God always promised that spring would come to Dalmi. That way Dalmi will see new leaves appear.
Unfortunately, the beautiful spring and the new leaves cannot be ascertained when they will appear, because Dalmi, who was initially afraid and hesitant when she decided to do a bone marrow test, has now tested positive for Leukemia.
"Miss Dalmi, your diagnosis has been confirmed," said Doctor Young Dae. "Sorry Miss. But there is only one way to cure you of Leukemia, that is by doing a stem cell transplant." Doctor Young Dae added again with more details. "And in our donor list, there is no single match for you at this time. So we can only control your current condition with drugs," said the man born on September 21 very clearly.
Dalmi looked at Doctor Young Dae with teary eyes. "What do you mean, Doctor? Should I have chemotherapy?" Dalmi asked with a stammering voice.
After that, Doctor Young Dae signaled to Dalmi through his head that was moving up and down repeatedly and slowly for a few seconds. "Yes, Miss Dalmi," answered this man very briefly.
"So you mean, I will lose a lot of my hair when I go to chemotherapy? Then I will lose my power to write drama scripts and novels? Gradually, I also can't make my coffee using my abilities? Besides, I will experience diarrhea and getting really ugly? I won't be able to do all the things I love anymore, right?" Dalmi asked with a trembling voice.
"Huh..." Doctor Young Dae caught his breath first, before he spoke back to Dalmi. "Miss Dalmi, after you recover, of course, you can do all the things you like whenever you want and as you please, Miss," Doctor Young Dae replied with a friendly smile. "Miss Dalmi, long ago, there was an actor and singer who shone again and was still amazing after he got his kidney donor. So I'm sure that you can surpass him." Doctor Young Dae also gave understanding to Dalmi patiently. "Don't despair like this, Miss Dalmi. We have to believe that maybe you will soon find a suitable donor," he added.
From his very patient manner of speaking, Doctor Young Dae seemed to be trying to encourage Dalmi. This man tries to convince Dalmi that Dalmi can return to doing the work she loves so much after she recovers. Like the famous singer Selena Gomez. Selena managed to continue her career as a big star after a successful kidney transplant. Therefore, Doctor Young Dae hopes that Dalmi also doesn't give up. Because there is still a chance for Dalmi to be able to find a suitable donor.
"Doctor, please don't lie to me!" Dalmi answered very firmly. "I mean, I've seen it on the internet, that it's very unlikely that I'll ever be able to find a suitable bone marrow donor for me." Dalmi added.
This woman really did not believe what Doctor Young Dae said to her. Why not? Because Dalmi had read some information on the internet, that the ratio of matched bone marrow donors was very low.
Doctor Young Dae was silent for a moment after Dalmi finished speaking. "Doctor, is there anything else you didn't tell me?" asked Dalmi.
Hearing Dalmi's question, immediately, Doctor Young Dae looked at one of the documents on his desk with a doubtful feeling. "Miss Dalmi, actually, we found a suitable donor for you. However, he most likely doesn't want to donate at this time. So —" Doctor Young Dae finally admits that there is actually a donor who matches Dalmi. Unfortunately, the person did not want to donate it. And don't know what the reason is.
But Dalmi was immediately excited after hearing the confession from Doctor Young Dae. For Dalmi, the statement that came out of Doctor Young Dae's mouth was a new hope that she deserved to strive for in earnest. Even though the life clock depicted on her right arm was constantly moving backwards until the rest of her life was getting less and less.
"Who is he, Doctor? Please tell me. I will call him. I will beg him to donate his spinal cord to me at this time." Dalmi pleaded with Doctor Young Dae so that this male doctor would provide the person's contact info.
Unfortunately, Doctor Young Dae refuses. "Miss Dalmi, I'm sorry. But I can't reveal the donor's personal identity, because it's a rule of this hospital. The hospital doesn't allow giving any information about donors," Doctor Young Dae answered very clearly.
Doctor Young Dae's words instantly made Dalmi sad and disappointed. The sadness and disappointment was clearly printed on Dalmi's face. In fact, now tears are also falling down on her face. "But Doctor—"
KNOCK.. KNOCK.. Before Dalmi finished speaking, someone was seen knocking on Doctor Young Dae's office door.
"Come in .." Doctor Young Dae said from his seat.
Less than a minute, a female nurse appeared from behind the door of Doctor Young Dae's office. "Doctor Young Dae, the patient has arrived," said the female nurse. She calls Doctor Young Dae to check on another patient he has made an appointment with.
"Okay. I'll see him soon. Please wait a moment," replied Doctor Young Dae to the female nurse who was still standing in the doorway of Doctor Young Dae's office.
"Okay Doctor!" said the female nurse. And then she left Doctor Young Dae's room.
"Miss Dalmi, wait here a moment. I have to go for a while," said Doctor Young Dae before he got up from his seat and left his room — leaving Dalmi alone there.
"Hm," Dalmi replied. Then Doctor Young Dae passed in front of her. After Doctor Young Dae left his room, that's when Dalmi took the opportunity that was in front of her eyes bravely. This girl opens the patient and donor information document lying on Doctor Young Dae's desk.
"Is my illness getting worse? Am I not seeing it wrong?" Dalmi rubbed her eyes a few times. She was even seen blinking her eyes many times. "Why do I see his name here? Is he the person that Doctor Young Dae was referring to?" asked Dalmi repeatedly with a surprised expression on her face. Dalmi did not expect and did not believe when she saw a familiar name in her eyes.
~~~