Audrey was determined to follow her suicide attempts through, since the first didn't work she'd try another.
With great struggle Audrey got out of bed, lack of food and water in her body made her so weak yet so heavy.
She dragged her heavy body to the kitchen, using the walls to support her movements. She reached the kitchen counter searching for something, but she wasn't able to find it, so she moved over to the kitchen cabinet.
She opened it, scaling through the varieties of items in it, until she stumbled upon what she was looking for, set of knifes in different shapes and sizes. She pick up a medium sized knife, gauging the size and the appearance.
She couldnt lift herself up anymore so she sat down, the knife still in her hand. She touch the edge of the knife making sure it was sharp enough, with out reasoning it she placed the knife on my wrist running it through forcefully.
Audrey sat watching as blood rushed out her slit wrist, the knife went smooth and fast. With the way blood gushed out of her hands, she could die of blood lost. The more she bled, the weaker her body felt
She couldn't keep her eyes open, and she didn't bother struggling either. All she could smell was the strong metallic stench of her blood as it grew stronger by the second.
Audrey opened her eyes to find herself in the dark void she always found herself when she goes unconscious, everything and everywhere so dark. But today felt different,It felt off. She always wondered why everywhere was so dark, she couldn't even see her body. The first time she appeared her she felt so scared, cause she has a phobia for really dark places. A past trauma, but the more time she spent she got used to it. This place became her comfort zone, each time praying not to wake up.
I don't want to wake up, she whined sitting pulling both her knees to her chest, as she rests her head on them tear rolling down her eyes.
She felt so tired, she couldn't die and that really bothered her, got to the point that she's even used to not eating anything, how's that possible?
She would hold her breath or count it maybe, hoping one day she'd die, but when would that day ever come.
Audrey had always asked herself how others with a perfect life felt, how do they feel having parents to take care of them and all their needs. Siblings to fight with, quarrel and play with. "Don't I have relatives? Why didn't any come when mom and Dad died?", she asked herself. To come to think of it, since she could remember, she hasn't met any of her relatives, neither her aunt nor her uncles or even cousins.
Mom gone, dad gone, Dean gone, I have no one else, she thought clenching her legs tight to her chest. I wonder how he's doing, does he even think about me the way I do about him? Why would he, after what I did.
Audrey missed Dean, missed him to the extent it hurts. To the extent she felt her heart would explode in my chest, to the extent she couldn't breathe or stop thinking about him. She asked herself why the emotions or her feelings about him escalated now, why couldn't she feel it this intense when he was around. You'll never know their worth until, you loose them.
His smell still lingered in her head, before she locked herself up in her house. She took one of his shirt and his cologne, she'd spray a bit on his shirt then hug it while she slept. His smell was registered in her head that some times, she'd smell him around her house.
She was reminiscing his smell to the extent she began to actually smell it. He smelt like wet sand in the rain mix with mild but strong masculine cologne, his scent was different from the others, she could pinpoint him out of the Crowd.
Just by remembering how he smelt made her heart heavy, she couldn't control the way tears that poured down her eyes. She was like a broken damn, any time she felt sad and needed to cry, tears run down non stop.
"I need you", she let out a whisper.
"Haven't you cried enough?", someone asked.
She raised her head up looking at nothing but darkness, "who's there?".
No one replied, She stood up and began to walk. She didn't know where she was headed, but she continued to walk anyways. The further Audrey, the more she could see the area brighten up. She felt so confused, it wasn't very bright, but enough to at least see the figure of her hands.
She kept walking till she saw a figure walking a way, at first she was scared but the scent she smelt felt so familiar. She could never forget this smell, she closed her eyes taking in more of the scent, then said. "Dean".
She opened her eyes to see the figure stop, she ran towards it. The closer she came, the brighter the area became.
She ran till she reached the figure, he had her back towards her. From the back he looked so elegant and graceful, "Dean?".
He turned, looking directly at her. With out thinking she wrapped her hands around his neck, embracing him tightly, even tho she felt her brain was playing tricks on her, she didn't want to waste this one in a life time opportunity. Dean had his hands beside him, he neither pulled her away nor hugged her back.
Audrey pulled away taking in his appearance, he looked so different, very different from when last she saw him.
His hair, lashes and eyebrows were pure white. His hazel eyes were extremely light, but they held a bit of its color.
"what happened to you?",Audrey asked, gauging his appearance.
His outfit was different, not the sweatpants and hoodie once wore. Right now he looked like a Greek god, he was literally wearing their attire. He wore a cream chitton, but more like a long skirt, with another garment laying across his upper body.
"Because I miss him so much, my mind decides to play this kind of mind game with me", said Audrey closing her eyes and shaking her head. "Snap out of this".
"Why are you doing this?", Dean asked walking a bit closer to Audrey. His voice had gone deeper making it sound so seductive.
"Audrey your over doing this", she closed her eyes tapping her both cheeks with her palm, as tho trying to wake her self up.
"I am real",He said, she opened her eyes staring at him for a while. she stretched her hand caressing his cheeks with a pained smile, he felt so real.
"Dean", she said stretching her hands out to hug him, but he took a few steps back.
Audrey looked down at the ground where he once stood and then at him,she placed her hands back to her, her face facing the ground. Does that mean he hasn't forgiven me?,she asked herself trying to fight back her tears.
"Don't start crying again", he said in a stern manner.
"Why are you speaking to me this way?", Audrey asked taking few steps back.
No this isn't Dean, he'd never speak to me so rudely.
"I'm sorry", He said.
"It's been 6 months yet you still haven't forgiven me",she said looking at him with pain in her eyes and sadness in her voice. Dean neither denied nor said a word, he just stood looking at her.
Audrey couldn't believe her eyes, Dean had changed so much, so much that it hurt. Suddenly everything started becoming blur.
"No! i couldn't have possibly survived that".
Audrey slowly opened her eyes, tilting her head to the left. Her vision was blur, but she could see blood all over the ground and her slit wound still fresh.
She closed her eyes back, tears streaming out of it.