Audrey laid on the floor in her own pool of blood looking at the ceiling, she was too weak to cry, move or stand up. For three days she laid there sleep deprived, the fact that Dean had changed so much during the past 6 months scared her so much, what if he ends up hating her, or maybe he already is.
Anytime she closed her eyes, she prayed sleep would come to sleep but it never came. He was literally standing in front of her, she felt him. Why did he feel so real, why in her unconscious state.
During those 3 days, at some point she found it hard to keep her eyes opened. It felt as though she'd die and wake up again, because at the time she feels like she's dying, she desperately gasps for air but none would come, as though her airway was blocked. It continued for a while till she suffocated, closing her eyes, only to be woken up again.
On the fourth day she decided to get up from the floor, her blood already started to smell. It took her a large amount of energy which she didn't have, but was able to pick herself up. The blood stains all over her clothes, body, and floor had already dried up, giving out a pungent odour.
She went straight to the bathroom, she had to scrub herself as though she was going to shred her skin. The smell of dry blood was so overwhelmingly strong, she felt if she didn't take a shower she'd grow maggots on her body, and she didn't hate herself to that extent.
Before Audrey took her bath, she soaked a small white towel in a bowl of steaming hot water. She brought it out wringing it, even though it was very hot she placed it on her open wound. She winced at the pain she felt and the hotness of the towel, the water had antiseptic.
The once clear water had turned a shade of brown, so had the towel. She repeated this process till the water had turned warm. She also has to press around the edges to let out the bad blood that formed around her injury, she couldn't afford her hand being amputated.
Her muscle ached so bad, she needed a warm soak to ease her nerves. She laid there for a while, till she could freely move her joints. It also calmed her headache, but it didn't completely go away.
She stepped out of the tub, wrapped a towel around her chest and headed to the kitchen. She didn't bother putting any clothes on, but that didn't mean she wasn't freezing.
She got a small bucket filled with water and detergent with a little antiseptic, she placed her mop inside the bucket, then without wringing it she placed it on the stained area. She had to soak the area before cleaning it, because it had already dried to the floor.
She glanced across the area, seeing how far her blood had spread. The antiseptic was to give the room a better smell as she mopped, before she'd spray fragrance.
Mopping the floor really took out of her, she felt really thirsty. She couldn't remember when last she drank water, or ate at all. How did I have so much blood, when my stature is no different from a skeleton?
She walked over to the kitchen sink, then turned it on watching the water rush for a while. She rinsed her hands then used them to direct the water to her mouth, she drank water till she was satisfied and that was a lot.
Audrey's daily routine was just to wake up, regret and then sleep, she neither ate nor drank anything and just stood up only when she needed to use the bathroom. .
It got to a point where at times she couldn't move at all, some part of the nights she would experience sleep paralysis,her body grew weaker by the day.
What pained her the most is that with all her attempts with suicide, non worked. She starved herself, drowned herself, slit her wrist. What else, she cried.
Her eyes felt heavy, cleaning the kitchen really took a lot for her, but at least her kitchen was spotless.
She opened her eyes to see darkness, she already knew where she was.
She rolled herself into a ball, then laid on the floor. "Pumpkin", someone called, but she didn't bother to check who it was.
"Pumpkin" he called again, this time it sounded like pity.
"Audrey", he called again, this time hesitant but more persistent.
"Dad", she said, still not getting up from her position.
"Yes my child",He replied,with so much sadness in his voice.
"Where is mom?",she asked. Last time she didn't come, now today too.
"She isn't here", he said, she couldn't see him but she knew he crouched down,it saved her the stress of trying to sit up.
"why?"Audrey asked, disappointed.
"She couldn't bare to see you in this condition",Dad said gently caressing her cheek. How did mom know what condition she was in, her conscience was so dark. oh! I forgot they are ghosts now.
"Why are you maltreating yourself?", He asked.
She felt someone sit down beside her, she wondered why she wasn't able to see her parents.
"Because there is nothing to live for anymore and I can't die",Audrey gave a direct answer, she knew exactly where he sat so she rested her head on his lap.
"Don't say that", dad said, stroking her hair ever so gently.
"It's the truth, you're not with me, mom isn't. The person who could fill the empty and painful space in my life,is gone",Audrey said, her heart felt so heavy.
"I did meet him again, but he was so different".
"Pumpkin, there is always light at the end of every tunnel, don't lose hope. Don't give up", Dad said, placing his palm on her head.
Is there light at the end of the tunnel, when it's night time?, she asked herself.
Dad planted a kiss on her hair, then gently stood but placed her head on the floor. Audrey sat up, looking at nothing but she could tell he was walking away.
Audrey prayed everyday that one day she'd be able to finally see him.
"Are you leaving?",she asked.
"Yes", he replied shortly. There was no use stopping him,she knew he had no control over his stay. But she wished he would be able to stay a little longer, everything feels so empty when they aren't around,but it wasn't up to her
"Goodbye",she said laying back.
Since Audrey's first life threatening accident that happened at school, Her parents were able to come back. They were shocked to see they were able to come back, but they weren't alive anymore. Her parents felt her life and death incident must have triggered something to bring their souls back to her, and since then they have been watching over her.
They both were happy with how progressive their daughter had become, but at the point Dean left they felt heart broken because their daughter's life took a big wrong turn.
Every attempt she made on herself scared her parents, but to their relief she couldn't die. They always found a way to come to comfort her, but they had no control of the amount of time they could spend.
They don't actually leave her in her unconscious state, their essence just disappears. They are still there but she can't hear or feel them.