Mum has been very supportive and prayerful, she always told me that "sweetheart you will never end up like me, you'll marry the best man who will love and value you".
I have a health issue that it worries me alot, I wasn't born sick but as I grew up I was embrace by sickness and it wasn't just a mere sickness. it nearly took my life, I was in coma and everyone especially mum was traumatized by it, she cried a lot, prayed alot, spent everything to make sure I come back to life, she just couldn't bare losing another child.
luckily, I survived but the sickness didn't stop there, many said I'm sickle cell but mum fought and stood her grounds that I'm not and that I shouldn't accept that I am even if it looks like I'm one, she said I could maybe follow prescription and all that but never look down on myself as a sickler.
one day, I couldn't help but cry and she found me in that state and asked why I was in such mood and I told her how scared I was because I felt I might not live in this love life I desperately want and she asked why I thought so and I replied that "mum, you saw what just happened, I haven't even done anything and I'm so tired, why can't I hustle like you do, why do I always fall sick, which man will want to have a liability like me that can't even work because I easily get tired and yet again I can't help to think that I'm actually a sickler".
mum looked me in the eyes and said to me that a man will surely love me..not just a man that will love me but a rich one, I didn't understand that and asked her why is it a necessity for him to be rich and she said " if a man is rich and he loves you, even if you're sick, he wouldn't complain, his aim will just be to make sure you're okay and comfortable, but if he is rich but doesn't love you and you fall sick, he'll get tired of you one way or the other, he'll always complain saying you're wasting his money and all that and if he loves you and not rich and you fall sick, he will be able to help you in any way, you'll put both him and yourself in distress.
mum said alot of things and I got her point, but that wasn't what I totally aimed for myself. Many people that are okay medically and otherwise aren't having a sweet marriage, what makes me feel I would?...I became scared of not having that one thing I feel I need "a man who will love me completely".