One night, he was in a 'shayrana' mood. She sucks at 'shayri' but loves to listen to them. Especially ever since she met him. Soon he started saying some because she insisted. Little did she know they were all for her.
"Ab tak jo main likhta tha, aaj khushi hai ki tujhe suna raha hu" his deep voice rang in her ears.
(Whatever I used to write till now, I'm glad today I can share all of it with you)
"Wah. Are these some quotes or have you written them?" she asked him, quite impressed by his words
"I made them just now. On the spot."
"Ohh. I can't write a single word. I just can't understand what to write."
"That means you haven't loved anyone truly. Or haven't got your heart broken."
"Meh!" she made a face recalling her shitty experience which was one-sided.
"Because once you truly fall in love with someone, words come out from your heart automatically."
"I see."
"Ji. Tum ek baar krke to dekho."
(Yes, try falling in love once)
"Achha. Kisse kru? Tumhe to karni nahi hai." (Oh, with whom? You don't want to love anyone)
"Mohabbat ki nahi jaati, ho jaati hai. Vo alag baat hai main darta hu tujhe khone se." he concluded their talk, melting her heart once again.
(We don't love anyone, we fall in love with them. It's a different thing that I'm afraid to lose you)
She kept silent, waiting for him to continue.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I was just waiting for you to say more."
"Arey bol to di. Ab kya parche likhdu. Had karti ho tum bhi" he chuckled.
(Arey it's completed. Now shall I write books? Seriously so done with you!)
"Oh, it was just that? I thought there's more" she giggled.
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**********
She was doodling in her college register when she recalled a conversation with him.
~~~
He was talking about a game with his friend when she picked up the call.
"Haa badia nishana lagta h usme"
(Yes, the target gets a good shot in it)
"Kaha nishana laga rahe ho"
(Where are you targeting?)
"Tumhare dil pe"
(On your heart)
he was a master at making anything flirty.
"Uffo, miss hogya"
(Uffo, it got missed)
He chuckles at her reply. "Acha miss hogya" (Oh it got missed)
"Ha miss hogya dubara try kro"
(Yes, try again)
"Areee dubara try krne ki ijazat bhii dedii."
(Areee you even permitted me to try again)
He laughs again, but then continues in all seriousness, "Agar nishana marne pe agye na" (if I will come to hit the aim)
"Hmm?"
"To dil zakhmi ho jayga tumhara"
(Then your heart will get wounded)
"Acha"
"Or hum chahte nhi tumhara dil zakhmi ho"
(And I don't want your heart to get wounded)
"Kyu?"
(Why?)
"Ab btao... Tum chahogi apne ek hath se dusre hath ko nuksan pohchana?"
(Now tell me, would you like to injure one hand with the other hand of yours?)
"Main apne hath ko nuksan kyu pohchaungi"
(Why would I injure my hand?)
"To phir main tumhare dil ko zakhmi kyu krunga"
(Then why would I wound your heart?)
"Par vo to mera dil hai."
(But it is my heart)
"Arey to tumhara mera alag thodi hai!"
(Arey but yours and mine aren't different!)
~~~
She smiled at the memory and leaned back, closing her eyes.
"Qubool hai. Agar nishana lagane wale tum ho, to ye bhi qubool hai."
(I accept it. If you are the one aiming at it then I accept that too)
Her eyes opened in a flash.
Did she just?
WROTE A SHAYRI???
WHAT THE...!
She immediately wrote it in the register she was doodling in.
"Tumne kaha tha nishana marne pr aye,
To dil zakhmi ho jayga mera.
Shayad yahi chahti hu main.
Agar nishana marne wale tum ho,
To ye bhi qubool hai."
(You said if you came to aiming
Then my heart will get wounded
Maybe that's what I want
If you are the one aiming at it
Then I accept that too)
'Damn! I just wrote my first ever shayri. Don't fall too hard hayat' she thought.
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*******
"You know what?" she was excited to share her first ever shayri with him.
"What?"
"I wrote a shayri, first time in my life."
"Really!? Show me."
She sent him and his reaction was priceless.
Too many hearts with sentimental messages lmao
"Arey janab! (Oh my lady!)
Where are your feet? I want to kiss them."
She was laughing so hard with blush radiant on her cheeks, while he was grinning and kept on teasing her.
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*******
"Can we meet?" he asked her one day.
"Yeah sure," she had always wanted to meet him since the start.
"Can I hold your hands? In a friendly way."
"Of course, why are you asking that?"
"Because I don't want to get slapped in public." he laughed.
"Tum bawle ho"
(You're an idiot)
she chuckled while shaking her head.
"Yeah, just taking precautions. You know how girls are."
And they got another topic to flirt about. Her mind starts wandering and imagined what scenarios might happen if they do meet. What if they got a chance to kiss? Will she give her first kiss to him?
And her heart said yes.
He was the first guy she got attracted to physically. She has never focused on her physical needs and always built an emotional bond with anyone she met. She never thought about anyone in a sexual way, nor did anyone ever make her feel aroused like he used to.
She had two past relationships but they didn't have the spark she wanted.
Her first love always gave her mixed signals, and never gave her a chance to go beyond their flirting stage. He was never sure about his feelings, nor took a stand for themselves. They were best friends at first but he fucked up everything by keeping her confused.
Her second relationship was like a rebound at first. She gradually healed from her first heartbreak and promised herself not to fall in love again. Soon by his constant efforts, she started to like him a bit, but when he said that he won't take a stand for her if his family said no, she left him.
'Why should I invest in something I won't get?' she thought. 'He was the one who said, everything will work out don't worry, and now you are backing off?'
She never found the love she was looking for. Love that is mutual. Love that takes her on the 7th cloud. Love that lightens up every ounce of her body. Love that is only found in stories and poetry.
Until she met him. He made her want to step out of her safe zone and take risks. He was the shot she was willing to take, by giving her all, with no regrets.
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********
Whenever she used to scroll through Instagram, she sends him posts, quotes, memes, or anything she liked, making his inbox full of messages. Sometimes they were 4-5, sometimes 10-12.
Once she saw a post saying, "I have never felt this way before, the way I feel for you."
She forwards it to him to which he replied, 'me too', making her smile.
During that time, a song came out 'Is qadar' by Darshan Raval. Many reels were made as it was trending. There was one scene where the actress was leaning on the actor's shoulder, arm in arm.
She had always loved this position and often used to daydream about it with her mysterious soulmate. So, when she closed her eyes, his face came in front of her, and wishes to sit like this with him one day.
The song 'Shayad' became her favorite song as she could relate to every lyric of it.
He was becoming a part of her every thought, day and night.
The next evening she started to feel a little hotter than usual and checked her temperature.
"Fever. Again?!" she huffed, wondering when will this go away.
Soon he texted her, asking about the call. She said yes, and answered his call.
"Hello" her voice was low
"What happened? You sound so low"
"I think I have a fever again. It just doesn't go away."
"It will go away soon. Don't worry."
"And now I'm feeling too lazy to go on the terrace."
"To hum utha ke le jayen?"
(Then shall I pick you up and take you there?)
"Utha lo (go ahead). Wait a second. Stay on hold." she got up lazily and went to the terrace as she can't talk openly in front of her family.
Perks of being in a brown family.
"Haa. Bolo ab."
(Yes, say now)
she said after reaching her usual spot.
"Ji. To utha len hum?"
(So should I pick up?)
"Kya utha len?"
(pick what?)
she forgot what were they talking about, while on her way to the terrace.
"Kuch nahi."
(Nothing)
he brushed it off.
"Bolo"
(Say)
"Arey kuch nahi"
(Arey nothing)
"Ye jo tum aadhi baat bolkar chup ho jate ho, bada gussa aata hai."
(When you say the half things and then get quiet, it makes me mad)
"Achha, tumhe gussa bhi aata hai?."
(So you get mad also?)
"Kyu nahi."
(Why not)
They went silent for a few minutes as he was doing his work.
"What were you asking about the reel?" she asked him as it popped up in her mind.
"Yep, what were you saying? 'mujhe ese baithna hai' (I want to sit like this)."
"So? I can't sit like this?"
"I mean with whom?"
"Whom did I send the reel to?"
"Mujhe"
(Me)
"To phir? Or kiske sath baithna hoga?"
(Then? With whom would I want to sit?)
"Achha mere saath baithna h ese"
(So you wanna sit like this with me)
She pinched her nose. He plays so dumbly sometimes.
"And you want me to have that scar too?" there was a fresh scar on the actor's head in the reel.
"Noo. I mean just the way they were sitting. I didn't mean to recreate the whole scene lol."
"I see. So if you have imagined this far, then you must have also thought about where we will sit like this?"
"In a park or something? Maybe a room?"
"Room?" he smirked while working on the computer.
"I mean not exactly a room, I mean a cafe or something, which isn't that crowded you know!?" she tried to explain herself.
"You said a room" he continued to tease her.
"I didn't mean a separate room! Uffo!" she huffed.
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**********
*Dictionary of the chapter* -
• Shayri: poetry
• Shayrana mood: in a mood of poetry