"But I didn't even knew about it!" she was frustrated.
"Yeah you don't know about anything. You just know how to talk-back even though it's your fault." her mother snapped at her.
She tried to control her tears and rushed to terrace, her only private spot.
"It feels so suffocating. I wish i can run away from here." she broke down in tears. "Everything is my fault. Everything fucking thing. Everyone just come and take out their anger on me. And if i answered back? I'm being rude, spoiled, etc etc!"
Perks of being the smallest member of the family!
After crying her eyes out and ranting to herself, she came down and went straight to her room without interacting with anyone. Her phone vibrated indicating a new message.
'Yeah I'm fine, how are you?' murat replied to her previous text.
With teary eyes she replied, 'I have a question'
'What?' he raised his eyebrow while typing
'Is there a way to stop tears? Because I can't stop them right now', she typed down while sobbing in her corner.
'Hey hey! What happened?' he typed quickly with concern on his face.
'I just want to run away from this hell'
'Hayat, listen to me. Don't take any such step. Tell me what happened.'
'Everyone just come and take out their anger on me, scolding me on things I wasn't even responsible for, and expecting me to listen quietly!
And if I answer back I'm being rude, spoiled, illiterate and what not!
Am I not human?
Don't I get hurt?'
she ranted her heart out sobbing quietly.
Few mins passed and there was no response. She laid down closing her eyes.
He got occupied with a client but she was all he could think about in that moment.
'I'm sorry, I'm really busy with some work right now. Don't think I'm leaving you alone in this situation.' he replied after few mins.
'Its okay. I'm just childish anyways.'
'No it's not like that. I get what you are feeling right now as I'm also the youngest member of my family.
It's just that sometimes we should leave them on their own. They are our elders what can we do?
One day they will realize it on their and own. And then you will see, they will automatically come to you because they will know you are right in your place.
You're getting what I'm saying?'
He tried his best to console her, which actually worked.
'Yeah I'm getting it.' she wiped her tears, listening to his words quitely.
'Good. Now drink some water and don't even think of running away. It's useless and not-a-very-good option.'
'Hmmm. I'm just fed up of this.' she sighed.
'I know. But almighty is watching everything right?'
'Yep.'
'So just have faith in him. Take care of yourself. I will text you real quick okay?'
'Okay'
She put down the phone hugging her knees. "Atleast someone understands me" she mumbled to herself.
.
.
.
.
.
.
***************
Soon Ramzan came and they couldn't talk on regular basis like they used to, because of change in schedule.
Ramzan is a holy month for muslims. Especially nights. You get double rewards for every single good deed you do. Plus, you need to keep a guard on yourself, try to stay away from every haram* thing, and indulge in ibadat* as much as possible.
That's why their conversations also became little more guarded lol.
As she was a night person, she started sleeping after Fajr* and woke up around noon. Rest of the day went in flash with cousins, and Iftari preparations. Her Aunts have come over for a month from Banglore.
Whereas he left the job because the workload was increasing day by day, and sometimes didn't even permitted weekly day off. So, it would be a great deal to work in Ramzan while fasting, without any break.
He decided to take a rest for a while and start up his own work as a 'full-time digital marketer'. His evenings were mostly spent with friends after Iftar*, either chilling or doing work.
.
.
.
.
.
.
********
She tried hard to write another shayri but in vain. As if her brain couldn't form words just like before. She did wrote one but it was too cringy and wasn't good enough.
Bas mera haath tham liye,
Aapke liye sare zamane se lad jayenge
Humne mohabbat kari h aapse
Aakhiri waqt tak nibhaynge
(Just hold my hand,
I will fight the world for you
I have fallen in love with you
Will abide through it till the last hour.)
'Should I send him?' she thought. 'will he even like it?'
And that's what happened. He did appreciated but wasn't much enthusiastic. He encouraged her to keep writing, as 'it will get better with time'.
At night she sometimes used to send him song lyrics whenever she was in mood.
Next evening, they talked on call after weeks.
"I don't really like this stuff, you know, all lovey dovey and cringy stuff. So don't send me."
"I was just singing a song!"
"Yeah but still. Dont leave my hand etc etc. It's all unrealistic."
"Okay I won't say anything again." she said in a monotone. She didn't expected him to say that. Guess his real self was finally coming out.
"Now I didn't said to talk rudely with me." he tried to explain himself.
"No. I will only talk to the point now."
"Nah. I didn't meant that. Its just that I don't like it. What's the point in saying these stuff when you can't make it happen?"
"Hmm."
"To, Roza* tha?" he changed the topic to light up her mood. (so, did you kept the fast?)
"Yes. And you?"
"Ji" (yeah)
"So, what's up?"
"Just sitting."
"Arghh these kids" she mumbles.
"Your kids?" he joked
"Arey! In the neighbors. They are making so noise."
"Oohh."
Then she heard some voices in the background from his side.
"yaar main sochta tha murat hamesha sahi baate karta h. Lekin bhai tune bhi kardi bewkoofo wali baat. Uske bachhe kaha se ayenge ye bata."
(Bro I used to think murat always speaks well. But bro you've also given an idiotic reply. From where would she get her own children tell me!?)
She laughed at his friends teasing him. He was quietly listening to them and cursing them in whispers.
After few moments he said, "Okay tell me who's Aamir to you?"
"I don't know him personally"
"Yes but still. Who is he to you?"
"Brother"
"See, she said brother" he said to his friends.
"Yes and yusuf?" he asked her again.
"Sab bhai hain" she laughed wondering what's up with these boys today. (All are brothers)
"Sabko bhai boldia usne!" he yelled in the background.
(She made all of you her brother!)
After little more mumbling in the background he came back on call, "Haa haamid bhai keh rhe hain na-mehramo* ko baat nhi krni chahiye. Ramzan ka mahina h. Namaz* padho ibadat* kro."
(Yes, haamid brother is saying we shouldn't talk to non-mehrams frankly. It's a month of Ramzan. We should focus on praying and worshipping.)
"Achha" she was enjoying it clearly.
(I see)
He again started to talk to his friends.
'Looks like whole call is going to be like this' she thought.
"Kyu na kren? Pyar karti h vo mujhse. Or main usse. Janmo ka pyar hai humara." his voice was audible enough for her.
(Why shouldn't we? She loves me. And I love her. Our love is undying)
"Janmo ka pyar?" she chuckled while whispering. (undying love?)
"Ji. Or btayen" she could feel his smile in his voice as he finally came back to her. (Yes. What else.)
Only few minutes had passed when his friend took the phone from him.
"Assalamu alaikum." the new voice greeted her.
"Walaikum assalam. Ye konsa wala bhai hai?" she greeted back but was puzzled by sudden change of voice. (Which brother is this?)
"Aamir"
"Ohh"
"Yeah. So Murat was telling you guys are meeting up?"
"Yeah. So?"
Next second he snatched the phone from aamir.
"Yeah. What was he saying?"
"He was asking about meetup."
"With you?"
"Arey with you!!"
"Ohh. Have a meetup with him too."
"Why should I meet him? Will he come with you?"
"Yeah. He goes with me everywhere."
"Kabaab me haddi ban kar ayega." she rolled her eyes. (He will come as a gooseberry)
.
.
.
.
.
*******
"How are you?" he was at aamir's home as usual, doing work, while she was at terrace.
"I'm so tired today." she sighed.
"Why?"
"It was suchhh a busy day, with non-stop work. And every thing feels double when you're fasting."
"Yeah. I know. It happens."
"Im literally looking like a maid right now" she chuckled.
"I usually prefer maid-look. That's my type." he smiled.
"Seriously?" she was in disbelief.
"Yep. Because real beauty comes out in the most natural form."
"Achha." She blushed at his comment. (Oh).
He never fails to make her feel special.
"Hour? We just started talking" he said to aamir who again jumped in between them.
"Assalamualaikum" his voice came from the other side and she grabs her head.
She cursed internally and replied him, "walaikum assalam"
"Are you finished with the Isha* prayer?"
"I will pray after few minutes."
"I see"
"Ji" she was annoyed at him now. (yea)
"Hello?" murat took back the phone from him.
"Why do you always give your phone to him?" she said in frustration.
"He took the phone from my hand. Should I stopped him?"
"Why do I call you? To talk to him or you?"
"So you dont want to talk to your brother-in-law?" he said with a big grin.
"What did you said?" she asked with shock, sitting in upright position.
"Brother, brother. You dont want to talk with your brother? He is your brother right?" he twisted the words trying to act innocent.
"No I just want to talk to you." she said like a 4-year-old-kid with a pout.
"Okay I won't give away my phone now. Happy?"
"Yess." she smiled while looking down.
"Ji" (yes)
"Okay, so here's a question. What's your definition of being romantic? How will you approach a girl?"
"Well... First walk closer and trap her against the wall. Then hold her waist and pull her closer." he smirked.
"Achha?" She giggled. (Ohkay?)
"Then cup her cheek while looking into her eyes, and kiss her. Simple."
"Ooooo. I wasn't expecting that"
"In a good way or bad way?"
"I mean yes in good way. But you directly jumped to kiss."
"You asked my definition of romanticism."
"So that's your definition" she laughed. "You will straight away kiss her."
"Yep why not?" he shrugged.
"Great"
"What's yours?" murat asked her.
"Candle-light dinner dates", she said dreamily, "or just any date."
"Achha" (ohh)
"Or just hanging out together. Long walks you know?"
"Yeah yeah. So here's my question for you. Have you been kissed before?" he asked curiously.
"Nope" she bit her lip.
"Never?" he was surprised.
"Nah. Kiske sath karu? Hawa?" (With whom shall I have? Air?) she replied sarcastically. "What about you?"
"Yeah. Just once."
"Ohh. With your ex?"
"Right." he nodded.
"Right" she nodded too, oblivious to their sync.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
************
'Why do you like me?' she texted him while setting her almirah.
'There's no reason to like someone. We just do.' murat replied after few mins.
'Still!! Anything you like in me?' she wasn't satisfied with his answer.
'I like talking to you. We vibe well. You understand me.'
'Achha' (I see)
'Yeah. what about you?'
'Your presence is comforting. You understand me well. And I like talking to you too. I feel happy with you'
'Achha.'
'I sometimes feel like almighty has granted my wish and sent you.'
'How so?'
'You're exactly what I prayed for.'
Her words twisted his heart a bit.
She can't fall for me.
No
No
'Maybe you're wrong about it? Maybe I'm not that person?'
'Yeah maybe.' she didn't said anything further.
'But I hope its you' her heart said.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Soon it was night and they were talking randomly on video call.
No matter how many time they talk or see each other, she always got nervous through their eye contact.
"I think I said alot in the afternoon" she said after a while, fiddling her fingers.
"Not really. Instead I want yoouu to say whatever is in your heart. I want to listen it all." he said eagerly with a big smile.
"Or tum kuch nahi bologe?" (And you won't say anything?) she raised her eyebrow.
"main seedha karunga" (I will directly do it) he winked at her.
"Or vo abhi hone wala nhi" (And that wont happen anytime soon) she rolled her eyes.
"Sab hojayega." (It will)
"Acha? Dekhte hain." (Really? Let's see) she nodded.
'Is he the same person I text with?' she wondered. 'Why does he seems so close and loving on calls while distant on texts?'
************
Days passed by. She was getting attached day by day, which he clearly didn't wanted. Because he was afraid of making commitments he can't fulfill. He was afraid of breaking her heart. He always avoids in getting closer with anyone, but couldn't help himself when it comes to her.
She was so irresistible.
One night, she was missing his voice, and went through her call recording list. She usually clears the list as it records every call automatically, but started saving his calls. She scrolled through his images, and prayed that they meet soon. Even though he says 'they cant be together' but her heart she still have hope and prays in every prayer.
Suddenly his message popped up, 'what's up?'
She smiled and replied, 'listening to your voice.'
'What do you mean?' he was puzzled.
'I have an automatic call recorder. So....'
'Hayat, how many time I have told you not to do these things. Saving pictures, listening recordings, all these makes a person attached. I don't want you to do these things coz I know it hurts in the end.'
She sat up straight at his sudden outburst.
'Delete them right now.'
Tears rolled down from her eyes as she read his messages.
'Okay' she replied.
She quietly deleted all the recordings, pictures, and everything with a heavy heart.
'Done.'
'Thank you. And please dont indulge in all this again.' he requested.
Too many thoughts roamed in her mind. 'Does he really loves me? Or was it just time pass for him? We aren't even a couple for god's sake!'
'To vo sab jhut tha na?' she texted him. But deleted it right away.
(It was all lie right?)
Too late, he already read it.
.
.
.
.
.
************
Dictionary of the chapter-
•Haram: not permissible
•Ibadat: worshipping almighty
•Namaz: prayer muslims perform.
•Fajr: first prayer of the day, done before sunrise.
•Roza: a fast muslims keep
•Rozdaar: person who keeps fast
•Maghrib: 4th prayer of the day, done before sunset.
•Isha: 5th prayer of the day.
•Iftaar: meal prepared for the rozdars before maghrib.
•Naa-mehram: someone who is not your husband, brother, or father in girl's case; wife, sister or mother, in boy's case.
#Traditional greeting between Muslims is Assalamu alaikum (peace be upon you) to which the response is wa alaikum salaam (and unto you peace).