She dusted off the mantelpiece humming a soft tune as she flaunted her long black hair around. The smile on her pink lips lightened up the whole room as her hazel eyes glistened with life and refreshment.
"Faye?" Her mother said as she saw her daughter dancing around cleaning the apartment. For two years, Faye hasn't moved a bit with this energy, and just one night she was giggling and dancing around. "Sweetheart, your feet are hurt." She said as she walked over to her.
Faye halted in her tracks. "Oh fuck! I completely forgot about that." She said as she sat on the nearby couch and lifted her leg to see the bloodied bandages. "Mom, can you get me the first aid box?" She asked as she looked up at her mother.
Her mother stood there with tears in her eyes as she smiled softly at Faye. Just looking at her.
"Mom?" Faye said, waving her hand in front of her.
"What?" Her mother asked.
"The first aid box?" She said and her mother wiped her tears.
"Oh… I'll get it for you."
_
She winced as her mother cleaned the wound under her feet.
"You should be careful, Faye. If you don't take care of this the stitches might come undone and these can get infected."
She sighed. "Yeah, I know." She let out a groan as she leaned back in her seat. "I'm sorry I haven't been myself." She started. "I'll start to get my life together from now on."
"I'm just happy that I have you back." She replied as she smiled at her.
"Well! Then you should also know you're not going to be the sole breadwinner of this house." Faye said with an enthusiastic manner.
"Yeah? Do you know how hard it is for college dropouts to get a job?" Her mother countered back as she started to wrap the bandages on her feet.
"Yeah. That is a bummer." She let out a sigh. "Bu-ut," She said playfully with a wide smile on her lips. "I already got a job!"
"What?"
"Yes! Do you remember my roommate, Tammy? Well… she knew a guy who knew another guy who knew this guy who has a kid and they're in dire need of a nanny."
"Nanny?" Her mother said as she sat up with her on the couch.
"Yeah!"
"Are you sure you can handle being a nanny? Do you even know how to talk to kids?" Her mother said.
Faye carelessly shrugged. "I don't know. I'll figure something out. It's a good opportunity for me… they need a 24/7 nanny. So I won't be an expense for you and they're pretty rich people."
"You know you're not a burden for me, Faye." Her mother said and Faye scoffed.
"Any kid above twenty is a burden." She joked lightly.
"Anyways. I have a meeting set up for you today." Her mother said.
"A meeting? What am I a CEO?" Faye asked.
"It's Dr. Mujahid. You know the psychiatrist that works at the hospital." She replied.
"A psychiatrist? I don't need a psych evaluation." Faye said, looking at her in disbelief.
"It's just a small session. Nothing much." Her mother insisted.
"But I'm fine now." Faye tried to convince her.
"Faye. Just one session. I won't force it on you again." Her mother said and Faye agreed to it because a protest was not going to cut it for her.
_
Faye sat on the couch as she looked around the small cozy office. She bounced a little on the couch and then laid straight on it with her head on its arm. The only sound in the room was the clock ticking, she started to lip sync the sound as she tried to get rid of her boredom.
Someone lightly knocked on the door as they entered. It was a man in his mid-30s who had a green set of eyes with his lightly tanned skin. He smiled at her as he entered.
"Faye Hill?" He said as he closed the door behind him.
"Yeah." She replied, still laying in her position.
"Are you comfortable?" He asked as he walked in and sat on the chair nearby.
"Yeah. I think." She said slightly changing her position. "I'm trying the psychiatrist's office cliché, you know. I'm lying on the couch blabbering away about my troubles and an old man with glasses is making a grocery list."
The guy let out a small chuckle. "Well, I'm sorry to break your cliché since I'm not an old guy with glasses." He joked and she just nodded.
"It's fine I'll just imagine you're an old guy with glasses." She said looking up at the ceiling.
"Okay. You do that and I'll introduce myself-"
"You don't have to. I know your name is Ali Mujahid and I'm not very interested in anything else about you." She replied and he let out another chuckle.
"I must say your mother was very worried that you've become quiet." He said and she shifted her position with her abdomen on the couch seats.
"Oh. I was. I was acting all sorts of crazy for two freaking years. But I dropped that lifestyle last night." She said nonchalantly.
"Can I ask why?"
"Well. Because he asked me to. He was very upset to see me like that. Almost heartbroken like it was his fault I was acting this way. I mean it was a little bit."
The doctor observed her and wrote something in his notebook.
"So… this he. Is he the same person you told your mother you can't find?" He asked.
"Yeah."
"So you found him?"
"More like he found me." She replied and he scribbled a few more things in his notebook.
"So who is he?" The doctor asked, still observing her.
"Just a stranger I met two years ago in a club." She replied immediately.
"If he's just a stranger then why were you looking for him?" He asked.
She sat up in her seat giving all of her attention to the doctor. "Can I ask you a question?" She said and the doctor nodded.
"What's your ethnicity?" She asked.
"Well… I'm half Turkish, half Pakistani." He replied.
"Oh cool! I'm half Pakistani too… So have you read Pakistani literature? Like the Urdu language and all." Faye asked.
"Not exactly since I grew up in Germany."
"Oh. Hmm. My father was a Pakistani novelist and most of his books were stories about the extremes of love." She said as she sighed. "Of course he was a flop. He wasn't a very well-known writer. That's why he hung himself up"
"He hung himself up? How do you feel about that?" He asked and scoffed.
"Big whoop. I have abandonment and daddy issues. Now don't interrupt me and listen… I've read his books multiple times over and over. It's always a story about two lovers going through the levels of love."
"Levels of love?"
"Yeah! Levels of love. Did you know there were levels of love? It's a whole step-by-step process. In Urdu particularly Urdu poetry there are five levels of love. Pyaar, Mohabbat, Junoon, Dewaangi, and Ishq. Each step has its level of intensity. Pyaar is more of if you like someone. Mohabbat is when you have fallen in love with that person. Junoon is when possessiveness starts to kick in. Deewangi is when you come to a stage where you can't live without them and Ishq is the final stage. That's the point when your love for a person goes beyond you're not in this world anymore, that love for that person turns into something spiritual. They say you become one with God. It's a very beautiful concept if you study the depths of it." She smiled as she noticed him observing her.
"You must be thinking what sort of stupid lore this girl is telling me." She gave him a little smile.
"I am a little concerned." He replied.
"Don't worry I'm not wasting your time. I'm going somewhere with this." She replied and he nodded to let her continue. "Okay, so I met a stranger in a random club. He helped me through a creepy situation. He was very handsome and seemed very mature. For some reason when I looked into his eyes…. I don't know if something cracked in me… I felt like- nothing mattered, he was the only thing- that mattered to me. The only thing I had to hold onto. You know I've been trying to run away from my problems for years but reality always seems to catch up to me but he… just made everything... seem stupid. I felt this urge inside of me to be near him. He tried to walk away from me but I just grabbed onto him and cried my heart out right there. I don't know his name and I'm holding onto him like my last breath. I don't know who or what he is. I just want to be near him, I felt I couldn't live without him. everything just became.... meaningless." She looked at him. "What stage do you think I am at?" She asked.
" Ishq." He replied and she grinned widely.
"Oh. Good! You're listening!" She pointed at him proudly. "You see I broke the rules of love. I jumped right at the last stage. I honestly don't know how it happened. It just did." She lightly shrugged.
"So you're saying, you're in love with this person?" He asked.
"No. That's not it. He just feels like a part of me." She asked.
"Part of you?" He replied and she smiled with a wide grin again.
"Yes... he feels like a part of my soul. This isn't love or lust... this is about a connection of two souls who belong with each other." She replied.
"Hmm…" The doctor observed her and wrote another thing in his notepad. "So this person, you said you found him. Does he have a name?"
She smiled. "Yeah."
"What is it?"
"Nightmare." She shrugged lightly.
His eyes widened for a second as he observed her then he wrote something down.
"Okay…" He went through what he had written once more. "You said your father has written novels on the levels of love…"
"Yup."
"You also mentioned you broke the rules of love instead of going through the process. Is there a penalty to not following the steps?"
A wide grin came onto her lips like she knew he was going to ask that.
"Do you know there's this novel my father wrote? Right before he. You know…" She clicked her tongue as she gestured to her neck. "That book was never published or released to the public. It was different from his other books. Very different. The story was beautifully tragic. This book had the concept of soulmates, tied for eternity. These soulmates fell in love with each other the moment they met. It wasn't that they felt attracted towards each other, it was that sense of..... like they couldn't breathe without each other."
"So you're saying that this guy… 'Nightmare' is your soulmate?" He asked.
"I believe so." She replied.
"So what happened to the lovers in the novel?" He asked.
"They died." She replied.
"How so?"
"Because they broke the rules of love."