!SIREN!
(Fire company 155 arrives at the scene of an apartment fire. The captain's radio buzzes)
"Fire Company 155, come in!"
!chk!
"This is Captain Ray of the 155; what's the situation."
!chk!
"Captain Ray, there are reports of a missing girl, Elena, five years old, in unit 306B on the 3rd floor."
!chk!
"Copy that."
!chk!
"ALRIGHT, 155, WE HAVE A GIRL ON THE 3RD FLOOR! I AM GOING IN!"
"LIEUTENANT SÁNCHEZ, YOU HAVE THE COMMAND!"
"AMBER, YOU'RE WITH ME!"
"REYNOLDS, GET THE LADDER TO THE WINDOW. JUST IN CASE!"
(The fire is raging as Ray and Amber charge into the building)
"CAPTAIN, THIS BUILDING IS GOING COULD COME DOWN ANY MINUTE!"
"THEN WE BETTER HURRY!"
...
(Ray and Amber reach the apartment and breach the door)
!CREAK, CREAK, BOOM!
"ELENA, THIS IS CAPTAIN RAY AND AMBER FROM THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. CAN YOU HEAR ME!"
"I'M IN HERE!" !cough! !cough!
!swoosh!
(Amber and Ray rush into the young girl's room. She is hiding in the corner)
!CRASH!
(Debris from the seeling have traped them in the room)
"Alright, Elena, we will get you out of here."
(Ray breaks open the window)
!BREAKING GLASS!
"REYNOLDS, GET OVER HERE!"
(The building creaks)
!CREAK!
"ALRIGHT, ELENA, YOU'RE FIRST!"
(The building creaks again)
!CREAK!
"I GOT HER CAPTAIN!"
(Reynolds grabs the girl)
"AMBER, YOU'RE NEXT; I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"
(Amber steps onto the ladder, and the building finally caves in)
!CREAK, BOOM!
"CAPTAAAIIN..."
(The following Friday)
"Today, we celebrate the life of Captain Ray of the 155; he died as he lived, a fool, but also a hero. First into danger and the last one out. He will be remembered for the lives he touched in his years of service. Gone but never forgotten."
(A Firing party sends off the captain with three volleys)
!POP, POP, POP!
!POP, POP, POP!
!POP, POP, POP!
(In unison)
"Good luck in the next life, captain."
_________________________________________
(meanwhile)
'Is this a hospital? Why is it so dark?'
(light appears)
'Oh, a light.'
"Why isn't he crying?"
(Ray reaches out)
'Hello, beautiful. Wait, are those my hands?
(Ray reaches for his crotch)
Why is it so small?'
(Ray bellows out)
!Waah, Waah, Waah, Waah!
"There, you see, he just took a minute."
(The handmaiden hand Ray over to his mother)
"Rose, it's a boy congratulation."
'WHAT IS GOING ON? HOW CAN YOU CALL ME A BOY? IT'S BARELY A TIC TAC, FOR GOD'S SAKE. Alright, Ray, calm down. Let's think, there was the fire and the girl Elena. SHIT, I DIED! Then where am I? A freaking castle?'
"What are you going to name him, Queen Rose?"
"His name is Rainer."
'Queen? So am I a prince now? That's not too bad, and My mom is pretty hot; I'll probably be quite the looker. But, wait, are those pointy ears? Am I an elf now...? I don't think I am on earth anymore.'