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From Pain To Healing...

Pamela_De_Souza_0603
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Synopsis
The novel revolves around a young lady who suffers a brutal breakup. The way she heals and later also helps other teens going through this problems in life.
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Chapter 1 - The Reality...

"You promised to marry me but you married that bitch. Still I did not leave you I was quite, I remained your girlfriend. You told me your family forced you into it and I was satisfied that you still love me. I had asked you for only one thing, and you did not do it I had told you to leave that bitch and marry me. You kept saying later, I kept asking about your divorce, it was 1 year since then. I was still quiet and still we continued dating and , going to pubs etc. Later when 1 year 6 months passed you had a son. I still was yours. You had actually promised to have sex with me but you did it first with her, you fu**** I wanted you atleast to be mine in that way our only child was what my last wish was. Now f*** it here is your ring and your gifts, cards. I am leaving and now don't beg me I am gone. Now no turning back."

With tears in my eyes I went out, crying with grief believing that he was never mine and the only thing was that I got fooled. I was a mad girl who avoided every proposal that came to me. I did not have any other option but only turn to being his mistress, see still I love him and he fuck does not care about my feelings. The entire office was shockingly staring at us both, his wife's brother who was working at the same place and a good friend of mine could not process this entire thing. He thought I was joking because it was 1st of April 2006, and April Fools day. He had asked me out thrice but I denied him all because of this man. Who did not even care for me anymore, I was naive I could have started a new family and be happy with my one year old kid. I could have given my life to him/her, all the love I had suppressed for him I could given my child. Magson his name was, Magson, I cried again and again, it was so hard to get over him, I wanted him still even though he was married to Edna, and their son's name was Jose, he was almost 6 months old. I thought that their family was perfect, and I was completely torn because I did not have anything.

I neither had Erick, with me nor I had 'my Maggy' I cried for him and left the office angrily. He did not even tell me to stop, I unlocked my car and drove off to Saint Jasinto island where I would be able to reknow myself and enjoy my own company. Erick drove behind me till there with lot of ferocious anger. After I reached the island and got down to enjoy the fresh air. He screamed behind me: 'Screw you man, you were the love of my life even though you rejected me thrice. But the moment you called my sister a bitch and I got to know that you are seducing her husband you were dead for me, fucking dead.' Hearing those words from him I was devastated. I was almost dead because I knew what I had had just broken, and what I had inherited from my broken love. What I got from the man who loved me, what I gave him and what I got from the man I loved the most, I damn loved him still, even though I fucking poured my anger all over him, but he fucking did not seem to be bothered. He loved her now and I was childish enough, not to move on from the past 1 and a half year. I knew my share was hers now and I began crying loudly. Finally Erick's rage lowered it's intensity, his heart melted looking at my wailing.

He said to me: 'I am sorry Liz, I really know how deeply you are hurt and how was everything all these years, It is that man's fault and I blamed you. If he had not promised you all shit in air you wouldn't have remained with him. I really like you and want you to be mine and leave him and my sister alone, will you do that?' I was stunned listening to his crap again, I thought he would sit beside me and console me, give me time to heal but this fucker is again asking me to be his. How can I when I cannot trust anything and anybody now? and he was her brother that bitch who stole him from me, I told him that I did not get anything he said to me and I just sat on the sea floor. making the partiality wet sand stick to my legs. I could still feel Erick stare at me, I felt a bit un comfortable but I was quiet. He behan to speek his shit. On the other hand I got a call from Maggy. I did not pick it this time, I exactly knew why he was calling, just to brag about his previous fucking shit. He kept calling me but I did not pick. I was bound to kill him the way he killed me. Just the same way, but I was hell not on my way to marry Erick and I am not. I was Liz the woman of my own words and worth and I was on my way to be one. I decided to leave my job there and start a new life all over again. I knew nothing of what I would do. I got up and dusted the sand from my legs, unlocked the car and drove home, I did not have the courage of going to the office after having a scandal there, I would be a joke then. I was not anymore bothered about him and his reputation. He was fucked up for me. I knew now I was back to square one, and a woman who nobody wanted, except Erick.

Oh I forgot to tell you my real name is Celia, but with love people call me Liz. So never mind when I call myself Liz that's because I love myself now. It was very late to lament now and I am speechless and soon I will be jobless also. This is my story and now a new chapter will begin, so let's sit on a roller coaster of my journey. A few stories may be from past, infact the thorny past, stories of the memorable infact now which are miserable times I spent with that unfaithful man whom I blindly believed. I don't want to lament anymore but Erick was still behind me. I did not want any man now not any more heartbreak, no more rules and no more false promises, I was broken and I wanted me, my mom, my own time to heal. I came to know what a kind of whore like I had behaved with him. Seven years ago it was only me who rejected the marriage proposal I had got from Sidney's family. Sidney is a nice guy though but happily married. Damn I was a looser , I hated everything means everything. I hated myself, I hated what I did and what I just did. I neither had a man to love nor I had children, I was all alone, and I knew there was nothing good in my Maggy, Oh sorry not mine, that bitche's hubby. After a week when I went to the office with my resignation letter in my hand everyone was staring at me with an awkward gaze. I was red shy and not at all proud of scolding him in front of the whole office. I went to my boss' cabin and saw that he was ready to fire me out of my job at that moment. I had not expected that from him I loved my work and had given 5 years of my life to it. I was a journalist for the newspaper, 'Nature times.' I really loved writing and clicking images for it, my cabin was full of my awards , and my file had a lot of countable certificates. I loved my cabin too, my boss threw a firing letter on my face and told me to leave, he also called me a disgrace to the company and the main reason for the down sale of his newspaper. Maggy was standing outside I could smell his scent, I thought if leaving the office right away but later, I went to visit my cabin, where I saw someone else's name on the main door, 'Miss Shelly,' my eyes filled with tears, and I fell on the ground clenching the door mat tightly in my fists. Tears were dropping leaving the first love of my life my dream of becoming a journalist a famous one, leaving my side dream of photography. My aim of capturing and writing about nature, even before Maggy, I loved this, The worst part was that I lost myself in the process of earning someone else. Still like a self respect less woman I got up and entered my cabin, they had packed up all my stuff, only thing they could not pack up was the smell of my jasmine scent, the flower and it's smell I loved. I greeted my replacer in a nice tone hiding my tears beneath my eyes and my sorrow of loosing my job below my heart. Everything pricked me like a sword, she noticed my sadness, but did not say anything. I picked the box which contained my things and left right away. I angrily looked a Maggy, as if he was the cause of all this, and to me he was the cause. As I was going out I heard a voice saying, 'Lizzy, please stop, I will resign too, I don't want to work here without you.' I abruptly looked behind and again it was that man , 'My Maggy', my heart melted and I fell for his word trap again but his words came with a faint smile, a damn faint smile as if all these years I was nothing to him. Infact I was just a lustful object, just an object.

I gave it all up and kept walking, I felt as though blood was dripping from my chest, I felt barren. I was scared now about starting my new life. What would I do? How would I survive? As my life was a downfall for me a scary downfall. I cursed myself for not shutting my mouth, for making a scene in the office, and acting mad. My fight became wild on Instagram and YouTube too. I had almost got trolled, some even called me a prostitute, a mare respect less woman. I hated it all. Everyone around asked me weather I had sex with Maggy, and all this while if I aborted his kids so that no one would know about us. Hearing this my heart was torn, and I was ripped, but I stayed strong. I did not let sadness take over me. I kept crying, only because my anger had turned my life into a scandal. A brutal scandal, where I had only fallen and I could not get up so early and easily. I was dying from inside. I thought of settling in London, but I had gone shit viral there too as my friends from here were there too. I was thrown out from all most all watsapp groups, when asked for explanation they told me I was a prostitute and no such woman belonged with them.

This was the best face of the people I knew. Mom was constantly calling me but I did not pick her calls up. Duh!!! she knew about us, she knew about Maggy and me. She knew my love was pure and warned me several times not to hang out with him but I did not listen. I was mad. I was famous too and had a good reputation, So my news went more viral in a few more days, the whole month my news was like some e entertainment to my fans, and the people who read me. My relatives left me too. all stopped calling and I was speechless, I knew now who was really mine : my God and my mom, only these two. I was left by all. My fans burnt my posters, articles, and everything related to me. I was more sad after seeing this. I thought of dying at first, but then I got an absurd idea of plastic surgery. it gad been two months but nothing had got okay, Maggy had not even called me, for 2 months. Only time I saw him was in the church with his wife and son, and his mother. This all the time broke my heart. I was worthless now. Everyone commented on me and gave me cold looks, I felt like running away and crying. I even got to the cliff but later thought of building up myself and teach Maggy a lesson. Sugar daddy's approached me with flowers and gifts and in return asked me for sexual pleasures. When I denied them, 'they called me a prostitute, and told me that I can only fuck young happily married men like Maggy and spoil their lives.' Now I was so hurt that I barely retaliated. I barely back answered anyone, I had got the power of to just ignore and walk.

The newspapers had shut their traps by the end of 2 months, but still people hated me. Men still came to my door and mommy shooed them away. Some even peed near my door and went. To go upon the extent of inhumanity they even poisoned my dog Nelly, I loved my dog and she too passed away. I advices mom to leave this place and go somewhere else, but she only bragged about my childhood memories, being there and my daddy's voice and his own patience to buy the house. I had decided to run away, I was bound to end my miseries and be a woman of worth to someone else. Be that woman again who had a fan following, who had a decent job, a women who will get a man to love her, and a real man. I was bound to not be betrayed again and she was cold now. I even gave a damn to the stalkers. Road side Romeo's, she joined an online journalism app with a fake profile and began earning on it. I loved it again after long time of depression I was a bit happy again. One fine day Maggy came to my house with red and yellow roses. He still remembered I loved those, it was my birthday 3rd of August 2006. The door was open and mommy was cooking a pleasant dinner for us two, and I was working on my laptop. He entered the living room as usual and saw me comfortably sitting on my couch and working. It was my 28th birthday. A familiar scent, that aroma, that man and the same fucking memories. I said, 'stop! right there, and don't dare enter my house. I am not yours now, get lost. Don't you dare spoil my special day. The day I love is meant to be celebrated with the people I love and not scoundrels like you. Just bloody get lost.' I turned my head towards him and saw his hands were full with a cake and a bouquet of roses, my favourite red and yellow. Mom saw him too and told him to go politely. He just stood there and stared at me, I did not even bother to look at him and continued my typing work, but my heart fluttered for him, I still liked him. He silently murmured, 'She is damn gorgeous, still kind and the same, just she is pretending to be brutal, after a I did to her.' This time I did not pay a heed to his shit, he had killed me. But I blushed, I got up from my couch and nicely kept my laptop on it and went right to him and caught his arm and threw him out of my house. He was coming back and I slammed the door on his face. He still looked at me. He was still there he looked at me from the window which was open and I could feel him staring all over me. I wanted to ask him if his wife was dead or something, but I thought of not retaliating, I had my share and now let him have his. I was dead and I rose now let him do the same. In another maybe some months his son would turn 2. I needed a man desperately but I thought about my past and sat still. I blamed God for not giving me the right one. I blamed myself and I did not have anyone to talk to, to consult anymore. I missed going on beaches, pubs, parties, having dinners, lunches, etc. etc. My online fans wished me and I was almost very happy, mommy and me had dinner together and literally tears came to my eyes, seeing my mommy selflessly bothered about me. I loved her, we had beef, chicken curry, pulao and French fries. It was very tasty, my best birthday ever. I did have a return gift for her though, it was a dress a really splendid one. I smiled at my fate and mommy smiled at my gift. She loved it. She told me to be happy the same way, and about a man she has seen to marry me, I was shocked almost. I was numb, tears came to my eyes,I told her I will marry but asked her, will I trust him ever? She just smiled and told me that everything will be fine, but I knew it wouldn't

Why does Liz think nothing would be fine? To know more read my upcoming series....