We usually hear people saying that a relationship/bond works well when we share a healthy communication with our partner/family member/friends but did we able to find those people who can tell us what a healthy communication is?. I guess Nahhh!!!
You readers must be thinking, other things (trust, respect, understanding or may be few more) are also important for a relationship to work and may be some of you must be thinking what's with the author giving us advises or lecture but I think its necessary to talk about it before you start reading this chapter.
As this is what I learned without a healthy communication in a relationship or bond you cannot begin, continue to live in it or may be end it, completely and may be that's the reason many of us feel fear of expressing ourselves or talking to our closed one because what if we got rejected or misunderstood and obviously we don't want to feel left all alone.
.....
As a child I used to think that hospitals can never be interesting place because it was full of different type of illness, sadness and sorrows but since I am working in hospital I am finding it more and more interesting because its a full entertainment package type place. There are many patients with different issues like some are addicted to drugs, some are full of extra energy, some are sad and crying, some of them are full on angry mode, some are seeing ghost, some are believing to be fully in love with someone who doesn't exist and list goes on and on.
However, what excite me more is the background story of their illness, one thing that I learned from them is that, we always have stories or reasons for our odd behavior but when difficult situations come in our life we usually forget about it. Though, this behavior of us is common because we humans usually seek for solutions which are easy to perform and can give us result in fast mode but what psychology do is that, it introduces one to his/her own self.
(Author's Note: This completely my thought because as I learned to heal others and myself with this own method only)
Whatever, right now I am sitting in my room beside my study table, thinking about all this. Though my trance break when suddenly I hear knocking at my door, without turning back I said,
Siya: Come in!
This person opens the door, come inside the room and before s/he could say anything I knew who is this, as I can feel that bad smell, which got mixed in the air and the negative energy filled in the environment.
Siya: (Turning to look at her) Tell me want happen Aunt?
Aunt: (Surprised, with raised eyebrows) How do you know that its me?
Siya: Just sense it and only few people enter in my room.
Aunt: Okay. I want talk to you about something, may I?
Siya: Yeah sure (Though, I internally roll my eyes at her formalities because I know, it is fake)
Aunt: (Irritated and frustrated filled voice) You know what happened today, your mother used my soap and kept the soap close to the water so, it is on the peak on getting dissolved.
Siya: Ohh did you see her doing that? Or did you asked her directly?
Aunt: (Stubbornly) NO! but I know so, because she is just like this, everything which is related to me, she comes and destroy it.
Siya: (Try to show the other side of the coin) But without talking or seeing from your eyes how can you blame mother. Mother has no reason for doing such a thing.
Aunt: (Getting a bit angry) So, you are trying to say that I am lying?
Siya: No, not at all but we can't change what had already happened so, I will talk to father about planting CCTV camera's in the whole house. This way we could know what is happening and who is doing such things to you.
Aunt: (Angry a bit, frustrated and stubbornly) Do whatever you want, talk to whomever you want to but I know who is behind it.
As soon as she completed her sentence, she just walked out of the room and closed the door with a loud bang (Ohh yeah I forgot to mention that this is one of her habit to be little harsh with things while working, for instance, banging doors while coming inside or going out or using kitchen utensils by keeping them on the platform with extra force). However, in reply to this I just closed my eye and take a long deep breath and a conversation soon get started between me and my mind,
Mind: What kind of behavior is this bro? She is what a five year old one, I mean who argue of fight on such small issues?
Siya: Exactly bro, I think she is the mental one who needs help I mean look at her she is being completely paranoid here and doubting on mother that too without communicating with her.
Mind: Yeah, lets do one thing call the ambulance and get her admitted in the hospital.
Siya: Nahh we can't because her insane behavior is quite selective or say limited to situations.
Mind: Yeah this is also right. But I think what we can talk to mother and ask what actually happen.
Siya: Yeah we could do that, in fact I am going now only.
With this I get up from my chair, move towards the kitchen are as its eleven fifteen in the morning which means mother must be in the kitchen making lunch. The moment I entered in the kitchen mother notices my presence,
Mother: Hey Siya
Siya: Hey, mother I would like to know does something happened few hours ago as Aunt come into my room talking about her soap?
Mother: O yeah, I also heard her talking about the same thing with granny too but honestly, I didn't do anything and you only tell what would be my motive doing such a thing.
Siya: Yeah I know and I understand too, it just I wanted to know the detail, of what really happened.
Mother: Okay but I have no idea, try may be father knows anything.
I just nodded my head in affirmation and move towards the parents room, after reaching their I knock at the door and their also I asked the same question. Like I expected he has also has no idea about it, I left the father room and decide to enter in my room to relax my mind before studying but before I could enter in, I hear granny's voice calling my name
Granny: Siya!!!
Siya: Yeah I am coming.
The moment I entered in granny's room, she hint me with her left hand to come deep in her room as she is sitting on her bed. I go and stand near her bed,
Granny: Tell me one thing?
Siya: Yeah say
Granny: What you mother want, can't she live peacefully and let us leave peacefully? Now what she has done today, can't she at least respect your Aunt?
Siya: What happened?
Granny: She used Aunt soap and kept it near the water so it is on the peak of getting dissolved now.
Siya: You see her doing so or talk to her what happened?
Granny: No but your Aunt only told me in the morning itself.
Siya: (Internally I roll my eyes, like seriously man. They doesn't see mother doing anything but putting blame on her) Okay.
For sometime neither she speak up nor I speak up so, I decided to go back in my room and start walking in the direction of the door. Though, soon my steps halted hearing Granny's voice,
Granny: Siya wait!
Siya: Yeah
Granny: What is there in the lunch?
Siya: I don't know but I know what is their in the main course bit I do know that there are chocolate brownies in the sweet dish.
Granny: Okay, do inform your Aunt about it because you know that, your mother is not going to tell her directly.
Siya: But she will find out whenever she will come to kitchen to eat her food.
Granny: (Getting frustrated and irritated) Hey you are not understanding the matter. Aunt is fragile, she has suffered always and if we tell her these things she will feel respected or loved.
Siya: I don't know anything and I am leaving as I have work to do.
Without listening anything else I leave the room all frustrated and annoyed, like as usual my mind initiated its own conversation with me,
Mind: seriously bro, why can't they talk to each other like two matured people always talking about other behind their backs.
Siya: Huhh, I don't think they are grown up, they behave like children and their poor communication skills irritate me as hell.
Mind: And look at this mother and daughter duo behavior, they both are bias when it comes to mother but I also have a slight doubt how can two people be wrong about one thing. Is it possible that the mother might be involved in all this?
Siya: I don't know bro, I am just tired of very tired of all this drama and I found these people completely immature and cracked.
Mind: Sure bro I agree with you too.
Before our conversation could continue more I heard father's yelling voice,
Father: Siyu!!!!!!
Siya: Coming
I go at the balcony side where I found my father sitting on one of the seats, working on some papers kept on the table so, I directly go and stand in front of him. After a minute or so, he noticed my presence then he initiated the conversation,
Father: (Speaking sternly but keeping his eyes down at table only) Look Siya there are some documents for Aunt, granny, brother & mother and I want you to go to them and get these signed.
Siya: Can I do it later I have some work to do?
Father: (Now he look at me with a frown on his face) Do it now.
Siya: Okay.
And I do what I asked to do, without any question or arguments because I don't want to be get scolded because I think I already had enough of drama for the whole day. As soon as all of the documents got signed I give them back to father and retired my self in the room to study for sometime. Rest of my whole day passed away smoothly without any drama, however, in my mind..
"I keep thinking what kind of environment is this where people are communicating with each other through a medium or a person who they are using to communicate with each other."
Next day in the hospital...
Today my shift is in IPD plus in day care center so, my duty technically starts at eleven in the morning so, like my daily schedule I walk in the canteen and order my sugar less strong coffee and today is the day I keep my phone's airplane mode off as I have good two hours and thirty minutes free, I think Erik would be happy today knowing this.
However, before I could text him Yaseer come and sit beside me, once he got settled down and relaxed completely he initiated the conversation,
Yaseer: Hey
Siya: Hey
Yaseer: How are you? What duties do you have for today?
Siya: I am good and I have IPD and day care duties. What about you?
Yaseer: I have same too. If you don't mind can I ask you something?
Siya: Yeah sure.
Yaseer: After two days we have a half day in hospital, let's go outside and have fun what say?
Siya: (After thinking for some minutes) Yeah we can but where we will go?
Yaseer: We can go to club like other interns go, plus drinking coffee or eating lunch I think is quite common. We can do something new, what say?
Siya: Umm I think I need sometime to think about it, I hope you won't mind if I think about for a day and the let you know my answer next day?
Yaseer: Yeah sure.
After this we talk for some thirty minutes more probably but this the talk remain strictly professional, however my mind keep going towards the words which Yaseer spoke few minutes back because I am feeling like as if this plan is not good as. My mind is keep telling me that I have two main reason saying no to him, first one is those people who work together going to club which is such an cozy and unprofessional place to meet and secondly he is married how can I go to such place with him.
As our conversation got finished, I took my leave but not before saying good bye to him. I reached hospital library searched a book to read and after like five minutes I found one book which is Introduction to Parapsychology by H. J. Irwin as I found it quite interesting because of its different concept and relation to psychology. Once I start reading it I got occupied with it, this is the magic which I love the most about reading because it will keep you bounded to it.
However, soon my my trance of reading broke down when my phone vibrated in my pocket and with this I come to know that only thirty minutes left for the duty to start so, I kept the book at it place and leave the library to attend my duty. Here, like as usual I am outside the doctor cabin fifteen minute before the my duty start but before entering inside the cabin, I text about the whole talk that happen between me and Yaseer to Erik as I want to keep my mind clear before starting my work.
And hopefully he might have solution to my problem but I have no idea that I have committed the biggest mistake of my life by let him know about this topic because once my duty got over, I reached home I switched off the airplane mode of the phone, put it on charger and start getting fresh. However, after completing the dinner when I come back into the room and open my phone to read his messages, the feelings that I felt...
deeply hurt
shocked
disappointed
and broken somewhere.
As he send me twenty messages which are....
To be Continued...