When I open my eyes , the first person I see is my mother. "Mom? What are you doing here?"
"Oh sweetheart, I've been so worried. You're finally up. I've been so worried about you, these things always get you so roughed up."
I wasn't entirely surprised that she would say that, mom had a gentle personality, If this was any other scenario I'd probably say she worried too much. But she was right, I felt terrible. Felt like shit actually.
I don't want her to worry and more then half of me was against verbally admitting my weakness.
"Mom, I'm fine." I tell her.
"See Aunt Kaithleen, I told you she'd be fine."
I gritted my teeth and turned to face the person responsible for stopping me from completing the challenge. She smirked at me from across the room, no one but her team knew what went down. They'd see it as her being an impartial enforcer, she could have let me cross after having picked up my fear, we were family, whichever way she played it her team would back her up. She'd earned their trust and loyalty.
She'd proved her superiority time and time again. They didn't need to follow me yet, that was years away, till then I got their scorn and disappointment till I earned anything better.
The funny thing is I could tell my mom the truth, but no one would believe my ramblings. It's not the first or even the second time I had failed.
I just had to accept that when it came down to it, it was her word against mine.
"Taylor, you had us all worried there, my team and I found you in the snow unconscious. You had a nasty fall it seems, you were trapped under some kind of log about 500 meters away from the safe zone flag."
"500 meters?!" I yell. "That can't be true, I was less than 20 yards away, when I tripped and—"
"Honey it must have been a dream, you were so determined to make it and I'm so proud of you, but you were probably exhausted from the cold and hunger, you passed out, after hitting your head on whatever log Jen and her team found you under."
"Mom, I'm telling the tr-"
"Taylor it's shameful to not admit failure, are you insinuating that my team and I that brought you to safety, got you unconscious and brought your body 500 meters from the safe zone? What would we benefit from that?!" She sounded incredulous, like she was the one getting wronged.
I narrow my eyes and let out a low growl, she only smirked, I turned away from her. "Mom where's Dad?" I asked.
Mom turned her head away from me, "He's busy sweetheart, work stuff is keeping him busy."
Translation, he couldn't be bothered. I had failed these trials twice already.
I was a beta's daughter for goodness sake. I had no excuse for my inability to complete them because regular ranked kids succeeded.
And my excuse wasn't even a competent one. What was I supposed to tell him? A group of enforcers were chasing me and I tripped on my own four clumsy feet? That sounded pathetic.
"Mom can I talk to you alone?" I gave her a pointed look, she turned towards Jenna
"Leave." Mom said.
"As you wish." she replied respectfully
When she spoke to me she sounded bright and cheerful. "Get well soon cousin."
Mom cleared her throat, "So what do you want us to talk about?"
I take a deep breathe, "Mom, Dad isn't here because I failed the trials again right?"
Failing them meant that I don't have what it took to be a leader and take my place in the pack. I've failed it before, dad didn't mind, I did poorly but he knew I gave it my all.
Back then dad said that I had experience the first time around, meaning the second time, I'd come back victorious. I didn't.
He didn't take that too well. I raise my head up. "I really tried this time. I don't know why I keep failing. I'm a beta's daughter for goodness sake! I should have been first to succeed. There was no one higher ranked than me out there. How am going to succeed you and Dad? How am I going to protect the pack if I can't pass these trials?"
"You're just having a rough patch sweetheart, your father's not mad at you, he's just… just, he's disappointed, that's all." She said
I feel my throat close up before I reply, "That doesn't exactly make me feel better. He already prefers Jenna to me. I was sure if it. She's the kind of daughter he wants."
Strong, smart, fast. She was perfect. Excelled in everything I failed at, unfortunately for me, those things were what made her the better choice .