After I spoke with dad I felt a bit better, he told me I wasn't an embarrassment. He gave it to me straight. I wasn't judged like I thought I would be, for Dad, I'd try, one day at a time.
I got off the bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face, dad wanted me to rejoin society, I wasn't going to do it with a tear stained face. I take a good look at my face as i hurry and get cleaned myself up, as I brushed my hair, I smiled remembering what he said earlier about me looking like a cave man... he wasn't exaggerating.
Once I was done with that, I left my room confidently for the first time since the trails.
Since my parents were high ranking pack members, they had the choice of either living with the pack or having their own place. Both were private people so we had our own place, I didn't have to immediately face a swarm of people, and Jenna. I was grateful for that, with a spring in my step, I headed downstairs to the living room, I stopped midstep when a door suddenly opened.
A little girl opened up the door, we had the same blonde hair, that we got from our mom, she had little ice blue bows in hers that made her look like a cute marionette. "Emily." I said
Before I could say anything else, the door shut in my face.
I was stunned, umm what just happened. I had an unreasonable jolt of fear that maybe she was ashamed of me because of the trials. No, Emily was too young to even understand anything about them, even if someone did say anything to her, she was too young to understand. So why did she react that way? Only one way to find out.
I knock gently on her door. "Go away." she said.
"Emily, it's me Taylor. I—"
"I know it's you Taylor and i don't want to talk to you." she said. She sounded sad, not mad, I couldn't help but sigh in relief.
"You can't be mad at me without telling me why Em." I try to reason with her.
"Can too!" She said.
"Can not." i replied.
I smiled to myself knowing that she would open up soon, little kids were like that, they really wanted to win at almost everything.
"Can too." she said again.
"Can not." I repeated.
"Can too!" Her yell was louder this time, just a bit more.
"Can not." I said in a bored tone.
I heard her little feet running to the door before she flung it open, and stared at me with a glare on her face.
"Can too!!" She yelled.
I tried to keep the smile off my face. "So you won't tell me why you're mad at me? If I don't know what I did, how can I apologize huh?"
Her face turned into a confused expression. "I don't know, but I know you're wrong though."
"Really? How?" I asked.
She narrowed her eyes at me before taking a deep breath. Oh no.
"Well I'm mad at you because you're a jerk, giant one. You promised you'd come back for my recital but you didn't, you even made mommy and daddy leave. Mommy missed my dance and daddy didn't come at all. You were supposed to apologize, but you never did . You didn't even come to see me when you got back. You forgot me!"
I felt my eyes widen, I didn't realize. Truth was I did forget about her, when mom came to see me in the emergency room, I had barely registered that she was leaving for Emily recital, I was too busy feeling bad for myself.
"Emily I'm sorry, I don't have any excuses. Especially since I didn't even apologize when I got back."
The recital was a big deal for her, it was supposed to be the story of a princess, who befriended a monster in a dark and dangerous forest. It combines acting and dancing.
It was actually a retelling of a famous bed time story for young pups. It was the story of our people's deity. Selene, the goddess of the moon.
How she met her husband, the story of our creation.
"That's right, you've been home for a week too, a whole week! Mommy said I should give you space because you were tired and you had a hard time on your trip, then I see you walking around the house pretending like I don't exist!" She said with tears in her eyes as she stomped one of her feet at the last bit.
My little sister was sensitive and while she wasn't a cry baby, sometimes the littlest things upset her. I for one knew all three of us missing her recital was a really big deal for her. She worked so hard, to not just get picked, but also to get her lines right. She loved that story and wanted to do a good job and impress our parents.
I knew a thing about that too.
"I tried saying hello, but you ignored me, you even ate my cupcakes. Those were mine!" She yelled.
I blinked, stunned. If I'm being very honest with myself the entire week was a blur, I remember nothing but being just acutely aware of Dad and Mom, and doing my best to avoid them. All she was saying was news to me . I felt horrible, from her point of view I was just being a big bully, I had to make it up to her.
"I'm really sorry, Em. The truth is I haven't been myself this past week and—"
"Yes, you were!" she yelled. "You were yourself, just like you are now, you were not playing, you weren't in mommy's clothes like when we pretend. You were you and you were mean!"