Did he even come to see me at all? If you're here, it means he joined you. I said.
I was afraid of what kind of answer I would get. Dad never outwardly made known his preference. But I knew my shortcomings, what I lacked as his child.
"It doesn't matter. Work right? Whatever." I said. I turn to lie on my side and let out a sharp hiss. I'd forgotten about that.
Mom cleared her throat, "Taylor your father and I have been summoned back home by Alpha Ronan. We're not leaving because of you. We were actually summoned three days ago, but we wanted to make sure you were alright before we left. On top of that your sister's recital will be happening soon and we promised we'd be there." She said.
"I'll be fine mom, you guys don't have to worry. If alpha wants you both back it's important, You are the betas after all. I'll see you back home in a few days."
"Taylor, we love you, whether you pass or not. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, you're our little girl and we'll always be here for you."
I felt my eyes glisten a little from both pain and from her words. I wanted to tell her that I loved them too, it was why disappointing them hurt so much, but the words stayed stuck in my throat, only whispered in my head.
She got up and gave me a pat on the head, "I'll be seeing you in a few days sweetheart, don't over exert your self too much. Get some rest alright."
With that she left the room. Once I was sure that she was out of ear shot, I let open the flood gates, I didn't make it. I tried, I tried, I really did try. Why was the world so screwed up. This was my third time. I couldn't even blame Jenna. If I was faster, I could have out run them. If I was stronger I could have fought them off. It didn't even matter that my dear " cousin" had it out for me. If I couldn't complete these trails, how could I help lead a pack?!
I cried and cried till my throat felt sore and my voice was hoarse. In the end it was my incompetence that made me fail. Jenna just wanted me to see that. I had made it to the very last lap. She let me run, she could have called her team. She found me first, let me run, sure she gave me an injury, but in a battle or in a fight, my ability to handle discomfort and complete a task was key to a victory, if I was going to be beta I had to be able to fight for my Alpha, to protect and offer my help.
Jenna would make a better beta than me. She was strong, fast and a good leader. When it came down to it, apart from it being my birth right, I had no other claim to this. None. And she knew it, along with everyone else.
As far as everyone else was concerned I was just a future figure head. I didn't know what I was going to do, I wasn't sure if my alpha would let me return here to try again. There was Jenna to act in my stead, I had a younger sibling, if she eventually showed prowess when her time came, Jenna would probably hand over the title to her. There was no need to come here to continue embarrassing him.
Other packs that shared this partial summer, partial winter land with us, would usually come to test their metal in the unforgiving snow. So I wasn't just embarrassing my parents, I was embarrassing my alpha and the pack too. I let out a sigh, maybe I should just…
"Giving up already cousin?"
I snapped my head up to see the girl in question leaning on the doors to my room. "You look terrible, how long ago did I leave, maybe 30 minutes? I'm sure the moment your mom left the room you curled up in a ball and started crying."
she had a smirk on her face, the expression was familiar now, she had it on her face everytime I failed, everytime I didn't complete my trails.
Cold and cruel, she loved my pain.
"Jenna, I don't have the energy for this, I was crying, you got me. I don't even blame you for what happened, it's my own fault that I didn't finish, not yours. But I have a question."
She raised her eyebrows, "What?"
"Why did you take me 500 meters away from the safe zone? And then make up the story for my injuries? You didn't gain anything from it. Your team mates would see you as an impartial leader by bringing me down, yes, but what about the other part, what was the point of it?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes, "I thought we've covered this already. Dear Taylor, darling cousin of mine. I do not like you. Hate might be the proper word actually. I think you're pathetic, infact I know, because of this pitiful display. As for my team mates, they share my views. You can't lead us if you can't fight off even one wolf to get where you need to."
With that she left my room. She had made a point, I can't lead anyone if I can't fight off one wolf, something Jenna and most wolves can do.
Fighting to survive is an instinct to us, one I had little skill to carry out.