[abuse ]
Macciato took a deep breathe
"when I was younger I was very close to my father maybe too close
I felt safe with him-but as time went on he started to change
he would hold me close and cuddle me - but he would also
kiss me on the lips and touch me - and I let it happen because I had thought that it was normal - and I had stayed by his side- he didn't let me go to kindergarten
but that didn't bug me but I was still able to go to school
and that's where I made my first friend -Edmond
I told him about my father and he told me that wasn't what father's should do
I didn't quite understand - I thought that was how he showed his love
but Edmond taught me that it was something that only should happen between lovers and he told me that I should go with him so I did I stayed by his side
but things got worse at first it seemed alright but the way he treated me was similar to my father and I started to realize that he never touched me in the same way
but I was already so close to him and I knew he cared about me
so I didn't run out just yet but I still visited my father and that's when he would beat me up, especially since I choose my friend over him and if I brought up my mother it would get worse
when I was 13 that's when everything started
I went home to my father I hoped he had changed but he changed in a way I didn't want and I told him that I wasn't a boy he got mad and told me that I was and smacked me and I ran back to Edmond and he told me he loved me and kissed me
deeply and I pulled back and slapped him and ran off
I was so scared and I couldn't be the same anymore
the two people who I thought cared about me just wanted to use me
and that wasn't what I wanted so I changed
from then on I was Macciato
but no one could get my name right and I hoped one day I would
find someone that could-"
Calix looked down at him
"Macciato I am glad you trust me enough to tell me about your past
and I promise you I will never do anything to harm you because I love you" Calix replied
Macciato's eyes widened
"You-you-really-said- it-" he replied
"of course, I did because I truly mean it and you once said it to me-" Calix replied
"I love you too-Lix" he replied
"You really mean it?" Calix replied
"mhm-I do so much- I hate to lose you-" he replied
"I am glad-and I don't want to lose you either" Calix replied
"you'll never lose me I'll always be by your side" he replied
"You know you can't live forever-what do I do when you die?" calix replied
"I- want you to take care of our child and love them no matter what-" He replied
"I promise-I'll take care of them like my fathers did- and protect them with my life "calix replied
"good you better - I hate for them to be treated the way I was" He replied
"I promise and I'll never be like your father- my father was a monster but he wasn't to me" Calix replied
"I know and just like your father you were able to change maybe you weren't as bad but you are better-if you didn't change- I wouldn't have loved you-" he replied
"I know-and I am glad you were able to-even though I am a monster" Calix replied
"You are not a monster lix- you are more human-you act on impulse
and made mistakes but you made up for them-" he replied
"but how did I make up for them?-by f*cking you?" Calix replied
"I-I-no-by comforting me and taking care of me you showed me how much you loved me-" he replied
"I-wanted to do everything for you because that's how important you are to me-" Calix replied
"but why would you do those things for a stranger?" he replied
"because you always did-and I was a fool not do anything back" Calix replied
"I was just doing my job-and you acted like you didn't care" he replied
"I realize that I saw all your efforts but I couldn't work up the courage to tell you how much I apricate you-especially when I was so distracted I should have realized that
you were the one who brought me coffee but eventually that stopped-
but you still worked hard and I never did anything for you" Calix replied
"I am glad you were able to even if that took 10 years-" he replied
"it took you 10 years and a week to admit that you liked me" Calix replied
"Well, you clearly had a better understanding of it then I did-"he replied
"and all I had to do was eat your cock" Calix replied
Macciato turned bright red
"I-I-you took care of me and that was just a bonus-" he replied
"a bonus? so what's my bonus this time?" Calix replied
"mhm-well you already f*cked me- and knotted me- so maybe a child?" He replied
"hmm that would be a nice bonus-but I only want it to be the two of us for now" Calix replied
"that's what I want too- I want to spend all my time with you-and love you just like you do" he replied
"I am glad because that is what I want too to spend forever with you" Calix replied
"me too I gladly be with you forever" he replied
"I'm glad- that is all I could ask for" Calix replied
"love you Lix-" he replied
"I love you too Macci-" calix replied
Macciato closed his eyes and drifted off
he felt safe in calix's arms and he was happy to have someone who truly cared for him