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The Pros and Cons of Immortality

Schneizel_Viktor
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Synopsis
The Godslayer. The Demon of a Million Eyes. The Great Prophet. The Immortal Emperor. That Unkillable Bastard. That Piece of Shit. These are the monikers Remulus once held. A reputation so vast, a single utterance of his name could kill you. Now, that immortal is retired, his status considered inactive. And now he's ready to take his vacation. Taking in a kid or two for the ride as he splashes through the myths and legends. Do you wanna see how?
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Chapter 1 - Ow... My lung

The moon has reached its zenith.

A signal for those below it to enter their beds, enter their dreams, and ready themselves for the busy Monday ahead.

Though for those awake, a shit stained city awaits and within it were its alleyways, one filled with crime and opportunity present for anyone willing to take it and many were willing.

Unfortunately, a young man got stuck with them. A young man whose pale skin shone from the moon, whose black eyes frantically searched through the alley.

A young man by the name, Arthur.

Arthur would admit he hadn't lived a long fruitful life, something he can thank his parents for.

He was always a timid young man, always enters his first day in high school with his head lowered and his glasses abuzz with ideas, though now?

He ran with reckless abandon, three men following right behind him, their goal, his capture.

Arthur shoved the trash can in front of him, crashing unto the ground, buying enough time for him to jump onto the fence, hands sweaty, breathing heavy.

He jumps downs as screams erupt behind him, the men weaving through the pile of trash about to catch up, "Dont let him get away!"

Arthur then sees the light at the end, the sounds of cars racing through the streets, giving him hope before he dashes.

Only for a tackle to slam him to the ground, snuffing any chance of escape.

"Haha Fucking hell, you really have us work out, huh?"

The man says with a toothy grin, his hand unto Arthur's lanky form. Two men lift him up as the man raises his fist.

"Tell us where your father is, or else!"

"Or else what!?" a hooded figure challenges.

The four of them then turn their heads towards the voice. His features hidden beneath his hood, his posture hunched as his red eyes illuminate the alley.

One man stepped up, gun pointed to his head, "Look man, we're not here for trouble."

"Well, unfortunately you found one." says the man, his fist raised.

BANG!... And he was dead.

[[fin]]

Mostly.

"I didn't hear no bell." The voice forces them to turn their heads.

The four men were then forced to watch in horrified detail as the man stood up, blood spilling over his wound, his expression filled with determination as he held his stomach in pain with his shaking fist raised, ready for battle.

BANG! BANG! And he was deader, maybe.

"Jesus Christ! Are you insane!?" their leader shouts.

"What!? What did I do?"

The man gestures, "Stop shooting him!"

"He saw our faces! We can't just let him live!"

"There's a stark difference between killing him and just having him to fuck off!"

The man looks at his gun in confusion. "Two bullets difference?"

"Yes!"

BANG! BANG!

"Motherfucker!"

"What!? You said two bullets!"

"Fuck you!" He shoves the man back, taking the gun from his hand, "Your gun privileges are revoked!"

The man pouts, "Fine!"

They then turn their back only for a weak voice to speak.

"I can do this all day."

Arthur widens his eyes as the puddle of blood stood back up. The hooded figure raises his fist as he vomits a liter of blood, enough to form a stream beneath him.

"Holy shit! Just take the dive, man."

Arthur winces. "Uh, sir, I really think you should give up. I'll be fine!"

The hooded figure coughs, blood erupting from his wounds, "Don...t wor...ry kid. This is nothing but a sc…ratch. I can do this."

"YOU CLEARLY CAN'T!!!" shouts Everyone else.

"I can…. Blaaaaargh!" says the hooded figure before vomiting another liter of blood, his body slamming to the ground in weakness.

The three thugs looked at one another before the leader spoke, his hand raised in exasperation. "Fine! Fuck it! Just try not to look at him!"

Arthur was then shoved back to the wall, the three thugs doing their best to ignore the man groaning behind them.

Only to hear the man's dying words, one that cannot help but put them into tears.

"Oh God! It hurts so much." Their leader winced at the thought.

"I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!" Arthur cringed and looked away.

A wet cough, "Oh God! Is that a piece of my lung?"

The four of them hiss at the thought of such pain.

Then the hooded figure sobs, "Oh mother, father, I can see you so clearly. I have lived my life as you have taught me." Arthur looks down in sympathy, the three thugs shuffling their feet.

The sobs then turn to uncontrollable cries, "Oh Sofia, is that you? You're just as beautiful as I remember you." He reaches his hand forward. "It's been so long."

A sob escapes his lip, "Please forgive me! I'm sorry you died! I'm sorry I could do nothing but watch as you do! You want me to go to the light? I'm sorry!"

A smile freezes on his expression. "Please! Don't leave! I'll stay with you! Now and forever….."

A powerful light then erupts around them, the sounds of angel singing ring through the alleyway, welcoming such a pure soul.

The world around the four people freezes at the miracle. Their mind filled with confusion as they almost knelt, their eyes unable to see through the light.

A warm light shining over them, their consciences tugged and their minds washed.

Arthur sheds a tear and so does the three other men.

The thug now looked at his hand, tainted with blood of such a pure soul, leaving his expression devastated and distraught. "I don't think... I want to do this anymore."

"Me too." The leader sighs, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Arthur nodded, along with a somber mood.

"Just tell us when you see your father."

He nods, "Will do."

Though no one once asked, WHERE THE FUCK DID THE LIGHT AND MUSIC COME FROM!?

Arthur walked over and looked down at the hooded figure, the three thugs now gone, leaving him behind with the corpse of the man that tried to save him.

A fact that almost leaves him uncontrollably crying.

"Well. That took a while." muttered the hooded figure as he sat back up, his feet kicking as he stood, a kick that directly struck Arthur's nuts.

A fact that leaves Arthur screaming, "Aaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaah! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!"

"You kicked my nuts!"

The man hissed in pain, "AaaaaaaaooOh... sorry about that."

Arthur only moans in pain, as his knees weaken, he asks, "How are you even alive?"

The hooded figure then gesture to himself, "Oh pssh... You mean this? Oh, please, I won't die from this. Ow, my lung."

He winced as he held his chest, reaching for Arthur's hand as he stood. "Well, maybe I'll need more help than I thought. Well, let's get me some help, then."

With such a thought, they disappear.

They then reappear, now within the halls filled with nothing but utter beauty and luxury, filled with gold and exquisite furnishing.

One speaking of monumental history and wealth, decorated by paintings of artists all around the world, each one worth a fortune.

Arthur could only look around in shock, his knees still weak, the teleportation a mere afterthought at the golden sight before him leaves him breathless.

"Well, how do you like it?"

"It's beautiful."

"Right?"

Arthur widens his eyes in shock and turned to the voice, only to see the most handsome man he has ever met, the sand in his skin, the darkness in his hair, his red cheery eyes all attached to his cheeky grin.

He walks to him in elegance, his hand forward. "Well… the name is Blaaargh."

Arthur jumps back in shock, the blood spilling over the carpeted floor.

Another stream of blood erupts from the man's mouth. He looks up with a smile. "Yeah, the bullet's still there. That's going to take a while."

He wipes his bloody smile as he takes his hand. "Well, the name is Remulus."

"Uh... my name's Arthur."

"I am aware." Remulus gives a knowing smile.

He sat on one of his chair, the blood beneath him splattering all over the floor.

"Are you really alright? I don't think people vomit this much blood."

"Bah! I'll be fine! Instead of that, though, let's talk about you."

"Me? What do yo-" Arthur asks in confusion.

"I adopted you."

"....."

(づ。 ◕‿‿◕。) づ

"YOU FUCKING WHAT!" shouts Arthur as he stood up.

"I adopted you? I thought I just said that."

"When? How? Why?"

"Just now, actually. I did it by throwing a fuckton of money."

"My dad isn't even dead!"

"Well, he legally is now."

"What?"

"As I said, a fuckton of money goes a long way. It can definitely make someone die by technicality."

"That's... oh god, but why?" Arthur hold his face in exasperation.

"Because I can? Also, because I owe your daddy grandpa big time." He says, nodding at his own words.

"What? How do you even know him? He's been dead for decades!"

"I'm immortal."

"...."

(づ。 ◕‿‿◕。) づ

Arthur then stands up, his hand raised as he shouts.

"That's it! I'm probably at the hospital having a fever dream after getting beat up by those thugs."

Remulus slaps him, his glasses flying off his face as his cheek reddens in pain. His blue eyes looking around in confusion, dazed from the slap.

"See, you're awake." said Remulus, grinning at the pouting expression Arthur held.

The stinging pain almost leaving him in tears. "That was definitely child abuse."

"Who are you gonna call? The guys that let me buy you?"

"Fair." Arthur slumps down.

He then looks up, his eyes shining in thought. "So, you're immortal and ridiculously rich? Right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Had to do something with this immortal life." bragged Remulus as he pushed out his chest.

"I guess. So am I also rich? Now?"

"Oh yeah, definitely." says Remulus, noticing the glint from the boy's eyes.

"FUCK YEAH!" shouts Arthur, humping in the air in excitement, dancing whatever he could call a victory dance. One comprising, waving his noodle arms, kicking his chiken legs.

What could possibly urge a young man like this to debase himself over wealth?

Well, there's the countless days of rationing noodle soup, taping his roof, fighting rat for whatever food he had left and then using candles when his own part time doesn't pay enough.

Remulus leans back in his chair, as the young man before him danced. He felt proud at the sheer awesomeness, though before he could join, a sudden thought arrived.

He then taps his cheek at the sudden thought, "Though there also something you need to know. A very important that you must understand. One that could force you out of my house."

His words were enough to crush whatever enthusiasm Arthur had. "What!? Why? I thought you were already my dad."

"Aww, you called me dad!" Remulus cooed at the thought.

Arthur raised his hand. "Stop, don't go there now. Please, just tell me."

"Oh yeah, you have a sister. She's a demigod."

"…...WHAT!"

(づ。 ◕‿‿◕。) づ