Living in a world of a Middle class strict house is difficult, everything is calculated- everything is questioned and everything is being prepared already. from home to school and when you're just a year old, parents will tend to dictate what they want for their child and their plans for the future.
Your parents have been trying since forever to teach you how to use your brain without getting tricked into thinking everything was okay and not to worry, but you chose to differ.
Everyone has the power to get what they want – sometimes, they will compete with you due to the sibling theories, class conflict and even rivalry- and they will envy the attention you hold that you don't feel like you even deserve.
Whenever my mother became angry with me as a child, I always locked myself in my room. I cried as hard as I could, to relieve myself of the sadness and anger. It was like I had a stone in my chest that is impossible to remove and I don't have an idea what to do. I couldn't do anything because my mother was my parent and there was no one else to teach me.
She opened the door to my room, I almost hurled my anger at her, shouted, and wept even more. My mother packed my bag, she had put away my clothes and tested me. So, I took the bag and left into the dark alley while red and blue lights flashed as I walked.
The neighbors and bystanders stared at me as I left with my belongings while crying. I almost got scared by their stares, but I didn't want to go back – so I continued to walk. Some of them drowned with drunkenness, I had to stop in the middle of my walk and felt anger and fear as I was still little.
Bystanders were chased away by a nice couple, and I was invited into their house and saw that it was filled with pets, some in cages, some were walking freely. I was asked to sit on their sofa.
They are OFWs from the Philippines who have been living in Thailand for a long time.
No questions asked, they just gave me water and I was escorted home. "I saw your daughter, nearly got dragged by drunks."
"We were just playing around," my mother said, "You kept on asking for five baht more for school, when I already paid your class' treasurer and your tuition fees and that includes your miscellaneous expenses. Care to explain?" I stood there silently, but the couple interfered.
"Why are you two fighting over five baht?"
I have three brothers and I'm the only girl. One of them is working, the other one is a high schooler, and the little one was in a nursery. Bright, Anong and Praw.
We ate with the two Filipinos at the dining table.
"Do you realize that you almost got taken?''mother continued her sermon, "You haven't even thought that somebody is worried for you?"
"You kicked me out!", I shouted back.
"And I know you'll be back. You really wanted to move out, didn't you? Okay then, look for somebody who will teach you and feed you. Let's see if they can let you in!"
It was one of the most memorable days of my life, especially when my mother undressed me after I told her I didn't want her anymore and her ugly face.
I was out then, and it was still early in the morning. The coldness of the morning creeped in and I was crying as the sun had not fully risen yet. She took me in and talked to me until I woke up to the reality that I was her daughter and she was my mother. I know that's just her mother's instinct.