"So...you're telling you're for once being a normal person and loving the idea of family?" Mira asks as we have pizza for brunch. We decided to order it home instead of going out. I had such lazy friends.
I roll my eyes at her. "I don't."
"Yeah sure." Niya mumbles.
"I don't. Maybe I just feel a bit different because I have a family for the first time." I say. "I have no feelings for either of them."
"We didn't say anything about having feelings. We were talking about you getting closer to people you live with. It's not a bad thing." Mira says.
Getting closer was not a problem. Separation was. I didn't want hurt our feelings after divorce. People rarely like me over a time. I was a boring person. It was a wonder I even had two friends. Three now. My shift had extended now. I worked in the afternoon now so I could get home before Sam came back from school. I really loved my job.
"Guys..." I start. "What if I...opened a book shop?"
They sigh. "Not a suprise."
"Why?" I ask.
"You are indecisive. Are you sure you want that?" Niya asks.
"Just a few days at a book shop and you're deciding to change your career." Mira explains. "How about give it some thought. You have an entrance exam to study for."
I did. But this sudden change of heart had many reasons. It strangely was about having time for my family and not getting stressed being a lawyer. I really was indecisive.
"I'm not being impulsive." I decide to explain. "Since a long time...law doesn't seem the same."
"What if you feel the same about this bookshop thing afterwards?" Niya asks. "It's upto you. Being a lawyer never suited you anyway."
"And you're telling this now?" I scoff.
"You don't listen to anyone else." She says.
We talk and eat a bit more. At twleve I go to work. I was truly fascinated. It might be an empty dream.
At five in the evening, I leave for home. Sam might be alone in that big house. Maybe he was used to it but I didn't like the idea of a child being left alone. I knew better than anything what it felt like.
I get back home on my scooty.
Sam sat in the living room watching cartoons. He was still in his school uniform.
I was about to get very mad.
"Sammy." I scold. "Freshen up before you sit before you watch television."
"No."
I sigh. He was sometimes very good other times he was a straight up stubborn mule.
"How about you change and have something to eat then watch television?" I ask of him calmly.
"Nope."
I narrow my eyes at him. He isn't looking at me. Was he mad about something? I had a flashback of me sitting like this. I was mad at mom. Now I know that it was just me being insensitive but I felt it was valid back then.
"Are you mad at me? Did I do something?" I ask kneeling beside him.
"No." His voice is shaky.
"Are you crying?" I ask.
"Yes."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"You won't understand." He insists. Wow coming from a seven year old.
"Try me."
"You know I don't like you, right?" He says.
I nod. Not a suprise here.
"I don't like my friend Ravi too. He is mean when he says I have no mom to complain to." He sobs.
I hug him as his face rests on my shoulder. He is warm. I pick him up. He's a light weight. We go to his room as I put him down.
"But you have a mom now." I tell him. "You can complain to me."
"Will you leave too?" He asks.
Will I? I don't know that. I wasn't as careless as breaking a marriage. Even if it was a fake one. Not fake to be exact. It was a contract marriage with conditions. But there was no part of this kid.
"Do you want me to talk to his mom?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "How about you come to school tomorrow?"
"Sure." I agree. "If you be a good boy and listen to me."
"Really?" He asks adorably.
"Yes." I promise. "So...what do good boys do?"
"Listen to mom?" He asks.
I feel warmth in my heart. "Exactly."
I leave him to freshen up as I cut him a bowl of fruits and a glass of milk. I wish he'd go out to play like other kids. He's a quiet kid who must be lonely. Or maybe he enjoys solace.
We watch shinchan as we eat fruits. I strangely feel comfortable despite only knowing him for a few weeks.
"You promised." He says suddenly. "You'd come to school tomorrow."
Did he really want to show me off that much? I was anxious now.